Hi everyone. So I have been back on the dating apps for the past few months and my anxiety keeps skyrocketing when I match and start messaging a new girl. Every time I send a message I second guess myself and just assume I won't hear back. Then I check over and over to see if I got a response. It's gotten worse since I started talking to this girl who is really nice and sweet....she just takes forever to respond. The stress and anxiety from constantly checking and worrying is killing me and it shattered the tiny bit of self-confidence I had left.
I didn't always have this level of anxiety when talking to girls I match with or meet. I know the anxiety started when someone I really loved walked straight out of my life. I sat by my phone for months waiting for her to come back or for a response, which never happened. Since then my dating and texting anxiety has kept getting worse. I just assume the same thing is going to happen again or I will say the wrong thing. I've been working on both things in therapy but it only helps so much.
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EJ7215
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Honestly sounds like normal dating to me. I always get anxious when I message someone or am waiting on a response. What you are feeling is completely normal.
We have all been heartbroken in the relationship game. Try not to let it get you down, and create that negative thinking process.
Don't let your anxiety get the better of you. Be strong.
It takes time to sort out all of the emotions your processing and not just where is the closure? It takes time to heal. Time to reevaluate and ask questions. Time to decide on another relationship and having to deal with anxiety and whether you're ready for another relationship . Reassurance. Patience. Caution? Each one of us has something to share and give yet there may also be unresolved feelings and uncertainty and other things of like ok where do i go from here and how should i be in my next relationship. Its not easy. Please be patient and kind . Has your therapist recommended any books or other resources available? Google youtube local library. Take care. I wish you well
Yea she has recommended a couple different resources that I tried. Some were helpful in lowering my anxiety as a whole. But I haven't found anything that helps reduce the anxiety in the moment.
Sounds like I could have written this! I'm doing the same and I hate it. It gets harder as you get older too, for obvious reasons.
I completely agree with what you say about long waits for replies. I'm not always an instant replier but to take a day or more for each message just seems rude to me.
Just gotta keep at it I'm afraid. Fingers crossed we both get lucky eventually!
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