The cycle of anxiety

[GoldenMaknae97]

Lately I have noticed my phone is a major contribution to my anxiety. Mainly because my conversations and things that bring me down are found in my phone. So I have avoided it during the day and focused on other things like reading a book or watching TV. However, when I go back to check on it I feel anxious because maybe I didn't get the text from the person I was hoping to get it from, or feel sad to see I have no notifications and feel lonely. I get on social media and come out feeling worse than when I grabbed the phone. I avoid it, then have the short term relief, but when I return to the phone, the fear that led to that avoidance worsens. Just like the cycle in the picture. I don't really know what to do. I can't avoid my phone forever.

[Ladybug9]

Avoid the phone when you know it's going to increase your anxiety. I have to do that often as well as the TV and people in general that don't respect boundaries and feelings. I let people know why as well so they don't take it personally. I just want them to know sometimes we all need space from everything without being judged for it.

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to Ladybug9]

yes! I hate that I use it as my alarm but putting it on airplane mode helps...although its tempting to take it off airplane mode and check my phone.

[Ladybug9 in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

If just checking it doesn't give you anxiety, then, by all means, check it...But, if it does, turn it all the way off and just enjoy whatever you are doing.

[Blueruth in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

What about using a watch instead? There are some inexpensive models. I leave my phone in another room. Unfortunately I have a tablet for managing music and podcasts at night but it is harder to reach.

[Blueruth]

Smart phones are literally designed to distract. It is like a constant pop up ad. You are actually getting a hit of dopamine when you look and there is a message. Not getting a reward for looking is a downer. So then I (at least) subconsciously go look for that “hit”.

If you have an iPhone you can set up sleep mode. It gives you a reminder to wind down and puts the phone in dnd. In order to open it you have to dismiss a special screen. It is really a hard battle though. You are fighting tech design and your own brain.

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to Blueruth]

yes this is exactly me! I just need to stop anticipating possible incoming messages because I am afraid to be disappointed by having none. It's mainly an issue with my friends/boyfriend since I don't see them much in person, I rely on texts to stay connected. that's why it makes me anxious.

[Blueruth in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

You might like this book. amazon.com/Bored-Brilliant-...

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to Blueruth]

I’ll check it out!! Thank you

[Whiskers16 in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

I completely get this. I have become completely addicted to my phone. Probably as I’m stuck in all day with hardly any human contact

[Gentlespirit]

Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. We care. I care too. Define who you are and reinvent yourself. Please do not let your phone or if you have received notifications define you. You are worthy and a nice person. Look in the mirror and ask yourself who am i? What can i do to stay grounded? What helps?