Want to drink again.

[Matthew28]

58 days sober and while I have been generally managing it well (seeing a therapist, doing cognitive behavior practices) Today I have been missing it. I want to drink to take the edge off my depression but I know I can’t now since realizing I am alcoholic. I wish I could handle it though. I want to feel good and sometimes drinking helps with that. I am just trying to support myself through the next couple of hours to get rid of this urge. I hope my writing it out here helps me do that.

[spinnor]

Do you live in a warmish place? Go shoot some baskets? Go for a jog? Go ride a bike? I read that drinking kills brain cells and I don't have that many to begin with if you know what I mean.

[Matthew28 in reply to spinnor]

That made me laugh. Yeah, I would hate to loose my few brain cells too. Thanks.

[Agora1]

Matthew28, with any kind of addiction, there will always be that temptation for

just one time off the wagon but after 58 days you know that one night is not possible.

Usually I am all about positivity, this time I'm going to tell you to think about all the

negativity there was while drinking. Oh sure, those moments of relief but then you come

crashing down and are left in more pain.

I can refer to my own dependence on Benzos years ago. (not by my choice but my doctor)

I have been offered medication both in the ER and hospital and have always refused it.

That's because I remember what it was like to feel void and numb for a while. More than

that I remember how hard it was to get off the drugs and that has stopped me each and every time. I could say it gets easier with time, but there will always be a moment when

you want that escape. It's not worth it believe me. We're here if you need to talk xx

[Matthew28 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. Your comments really helps me stay strong. Seeing success in others inspires me. You are absolutely right. Part of my cognitive behavior tool is to list in my head all the negatives of having a drink and then all the positives. The risk reward analysis for four hours of feeling good isn’t worth it. I try to remind myself of that. Just needing a little extra strength today.

[bonkers65 in reply to Matthew28]

Congratulations on the 58 days sober. You should be proud of yourself. Keep up the good work.

👍

[Agora1 in reply to Matthew28]

Matthew, you've got this and so do I. xx

[Zappa61]

Hi hope you don't mind me coming in here have you tried intherooms.com it's helped many. Stay Safe 👍

[Matthew28 in reply to Zappa61]

Will check it out. Thanks.