The struggle of control

[mz1ynn]

Be brave, be courageous

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Elkhart Tolle, a renowned spiritual guru, teaches that the definition of suffering is insisting that reality be different than it is. I’d say that a corollary is a desperate attempt to control what we can’t. Letting go of our need to control is indeed courageous and very difficult to do because it requires acknowledgment and acceptance of the fact that we have so little of it in life. The illusion of control can cause profound pain. One example of how I fall prey to that illusion has to do with depression. I find it much scarier to accept the reality that depression is not my fault than to beat myself mercilessly for causing it. That sounds crazy but if I blame myself then at least I feel have some control over the illness. It’s an illusion. Of course there are constructive things we can do when the illness strikes but we can’t control whether or not we have the illness. So maybe that’s where blaming ourselves for having depression when it’s not our fault comes in. Letting go of that self castigation means letting go of control and for many of us, including me, that’s a terrifying proposition. But it’s worth working toward even if it takes a lifetime.

[mz1ynn in reply to Catsamaze]

Thank you for sharing! Spot on

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to Catsamaze]

It's a great topic. Thank you for bringing it up.