Severe anxiety and depression that never stops.

[JTiegan]

I'm new here and I have no idea what I'm asking for.

I have been plagued by anxiety and depression since my pre-teen years. I am in my mid-fifties now so I've somewhat dealt with this for a very long time. During my young adult years I attempted suicide twice.. and I should be dead from one of those attempts. These issues have completely wrecked any semblance of a 'good' life. Quit college, quit good jobs and I have no idea how to be in a relationship. I've sabotaged most of them and only one of my break-ups were caused by the other party. My anxiety and depression have been growing and growing lately. I had a therapist for almost a year but that ended and the replacement I couldn't work with. The thought of trying to get another is terrifying to me. Covid-19 has ruined almost all of my outlets when my issues flare up. I'm getting more agoraphobic and my social anxiety is through the roof. I'm still on two mental health medications but I don't find much help with them. And I never can seem to find anyone that can understand all that I have to deal with and all of the pressures on me that are mostly out of my control. So very tired of feeling alone and feeling under constant attack from every direction. Writing all of this brought me nearly to tears.

[langedechu]

hey jt,you have a very powerful story. unfortunately covid has caused all of us especially some very shitty situations and i know that it's so so so hard for you right now. i would love to hear your backstory and talk with you so you can have a friend. loneliness is so common in a lot of us here especially during these times of quarantine and i will be here for you if you need help. we are suffering through the same stuff and you really need someone to have your back, if it's me, another member of the community, a friend, family member, or counselor. you have so many burdens on your chest that need to be lifted. if you would like i am free to message back and forth so please consider my offer if you are comfortable. sending love.

[oliveu]

I'm so sorry JTiegan

[bonkers65]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I am too. I don't know what to say except keep on doing the best you can and maybe try some different medications and maybe try to find a new therapist

[Help_Me_Please]

Thank you for sharing. Despite being brought nearly to tears maybe you also were able to dip your toe into the healing waters of this site by writing this post.

[SRNM]

Hi. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder too. I am on medication as well. I picked up running a few years back and that really helps. And I do cooking for my family. These two activities help me in controlling my anxiety and low mood.

[Hidden]

I am sorry JTiegan. I wish I knew how to unlock our brains so we could heal