How to move on...

[florapeace]

I recently found out my boyfriend of almost 4 years was cheating on me with his cousin. I have been trying to move past it, telling myself that I dodged a bullet-that someone that would be intimate with their cousin is not worth my time at all-but at the end of the day I feel gutted and alone. I have been having trouble with my friends lately, and I realized that they are not as understanding and communicative as I need them to be as someone with MDD and GAD, and it turns out that they have been talking about me quite a bit when I'm not around. This past summer I was very depressed and I guess all of my friends took to being angry with me for not coming out of my room. I didn't even know until I started doing better and leaving my room/house again, as I genuinely thought they were just giving me space. My boyfriend was all that I had and now I'm feeling as though I have nothing. I guess I'm saying all this because I could really just use an "it gets better"... feeling really hopeless and heartbroken right now.

[venusofthenorth]

When shit like this happens, there's an opportunity for you to grow out of it. You're life is the result of multiple minor choices you made one time or another and you were probably in the right in making those choices at the time. But shit changes, shit happens and the playboard of life along with it. You loved the guy though he betrayed your trust. You loved your friends though they've turned petty over the years. You're not responsible or at fault having chosen them at one point only to find out now they weren't worth the effort. With all of the above in mind, keep doing whatever you were doing with them. Prove to yourself and everybody else you don't need other people to validate your feelings or the new choices and opportunities you have ahead of you. Truth is, you do, you just don't see it right now. It's going to sting and you won't be happy in a while, but within weeks you'll try to get better friends, make plans for a better life and make space for someone to love you for your sake rather than go off getting busy with their cousins. When you do feel like talking to people and making new acquaintances, me and my profile will be here for you and so will the rest of HealthUnlocked. Give yourself a bit of time to get back up and send me a message if you'd like to talk more privately about any of this.

[Jeff1943]

Florapeace , you will find better than him before long and be the happier for it. A man that does not feel what Freud called "the incest taboo" could cause many problems if you had children quite apart from his infidelity.

[Cutiey75]

I had a bad relationship with my ex boyfriend he drank a lot verbal abuse to me he dragged me like a rag doll. I’m much better with out him. I’m talking to someone better who is nice understanding my depression and anxiety.

You will find someone better i know you will it just takes time to get over ur ex boyfriend

[Hidden]

One second into reading and I’m thinking... yikes. What a bullet you have dodged.

You can’t see it exactly the way I see it as of right now because it is still so new and the pain is definitely there because someone you trusted not only has replaced you but it was with a family member? So not only do you have to feel hurt and cheated; but also embarrassed? And why should you be the one feeling these things, I think he should. Not you. That gets me so upset that the good ones carry all the pain. The ones who give the most love. And your friends don’t sound like great friends...but then again, I could be very wrong.. maybe they have felt abandoned in some way. This isn’t your fault at all because you were going through something, but if they weren’t fully aware of this it may have caused them to judge because in any friendship, people want and deserve reciprocity. I want to encourage you to communicate with them about what you’ve been going through so they do not take it personal if you still would like to continue a friendship with them. I feel like you’ll have more without him in my opinion, he seems to only take from you. Your energy for sure and your happiness have already been taken by his selfishness. Oh and the strangeness.. I’m sorry you are heartbroken, but it will get better and I promise you, one day you’ll see he never deserved someone like you at all.

For now the best thing is to not focus on what he has done in the past to make you happy, people changed. It’s VERY easy to get stuck on how someone used to be, because that’s a time where you were happy and safe. Focus on the present and why he’s no longer good for you today, and tomorrow, and going on in the future. Good luck 🤍