It's been 7 months since I am divorced and I am not able to move forward and forget about my ex husband. I must confess I thought he will be the man to grow old with, to have children and life a long happy life. Now I'm at 36 years old, soon 37, no kids and lost the person I thought it was the love of my life. And he choosed not to be with me and makes it so much worse.
I passed through so many emotional states, anger and crying and wanting something better for myself. Everyone says that I deserve better and I will get better, but soon will be a year and I can't even get out on a date. I am emotionally unavailable.
Sometimes I see him on social media with his new family (I say family because she already has 2 children that seem to adapt to him) and sometimes hear news about him from mutual friends. Now I am crying because I found out he bought another car and that was our plan, I see someone else living my life and it kills me inside. And I wish I could stop dreaming him and stop thinking about what my life should suppose to be, because he choose differently and that's so obvious (that the love was only one way).
How can I stop crying? How can I move forward with my life, because this state of mind is not doing me good, and I know it, but I am not capable of doing anything. I wish I could focus more on work, I can't do that either. And I know it's a stupid thing to cry about, but I feel so broken, so insecure, loved him so much. There are more important things in life, like good health, but when I felt ill the only thing crossing my mind was how I am alone, have no siblings, only my mother to help me in need when I should be helping her....so i feel powerless and alone and dunno what to do...
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Pink99
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Hey hang on you are being much too hard on yourself. Losing the love of your life is like a bereavement and you have to do your grieving. You can also never forget but you can learn to move on one day.
Make a conscious effort not to dwell in the past and try and look forward more as this will all help you in moving on. And remember things happen for a reason and I bet there is something much better round the corner for you if you let it be.
Oh I bet everyone alive as thought like that at some time or another. When life goes horribly wrong and you wonder what it's all about and whether it's all worth it.
You can't see your good future right now as you are still grieving for the past. There is nothing wrong in that but know that things change and good things will happen for you again in time. Have hope and hold on for those better days.
I am in my 60's now so am telling you all this from experience. I have suffered some awful things too but eventually you do move on, trust me.
I hope I will not become a grudgy nasty old woman, bitter and full of anger. Just want to pass this and at least to be able to try to find someone else. Thank you for the support!
If you are this aware of it then you won't so don't worry. Another lesson I learned in life (largely from my mother) is the more you let the negative emotions into your heart the less room there is for positive ones. Think about that.
It is only 7 months, and you are grieving the loss of a relationship, just as you would if your husband had died. Grief takes it's own sweet time; it won't be rushed.
Treat yourself gently, and don't look him up on social media! It won't help you to move forward.
The past is gone; the Future yet to be. we have only the Present, and it is the Gift .
Hope is ahead; just give it time. Don't expect too much of yourself.
Hello, I feel for you and the pain you are in. It must feel like a long time to you, but it is a big loss and still early days. Perhaps there are small things in your days that feel good to you. I experienced a similar situation and thought I would never come through it. Made it worse for myself by trying to rush into new relationships. Sounds as though you are too sensible to do that. I hope you will be able to feel that there will be good things around the corner. I have no family and few friends due to shyness, but met my lovely partner in my mid forties. We have had many years happiness together and done all sorts of exciting things.
You are not alone. I have gone through exactly what you are facing. My husband left, bought a new house and a car for his girlfriend, takes her on vacations, and I see it all on social media. I was heartbroken. I still am, but I'm getting better every day. His actions have allowed me to not love him anymore. You will grow as time goes by, and you will be able to return to a normal life. I have been working with a counselor to help me rebuild my self esteem. I just want you to know that things will get better. It's not easy, and it's definitely not fair. But you will get better!
Oh the joys of social media eh, 🙄. Well at least on here you'll find people who will give you plenty of sound advice, I for one would stay off any form of social media, and try not to look at anything to do with him anymore.
Its now time to move on, yes perhaps you had everything planned in your head, but things have changed, and so can you.
Whilst you're stuck in this frame of mind your holding yourself back, don't let the clock tick forward while it's going in slow motion for you, only you can change this situation, tell your mum you need to get back out again and mingle, or do something different that can change your mindset.
You sound lost within yourself, but, you will gain confidence as you learn to get out and about, don't be shy, you'll be amazed at what you can do once you forget that you've been treated this way, have some confidence in yourself, put the tissues away, get the smiling face on, and the world's your oyster 😇
Your wounds are still fresh. Allow yourself to cry. It's okay. You are still grieving a heartfelt loss. Have you thought about doing some things you really enjoy? Just focusing on lifting yourself up and going out to just enjoy life. Maybe lunch with friends or a show just to enjoy good company. Social media is just for show you know. People take pictures of holiday decorations because they look great, but nobody post their grass after it hasn't been cut in 2 weeks with weeds. It isn't reality.
I actually joined my church choir after a heart wrenching break up. I was recruited you might say. They wanted to redirect my thoughts. It filled my time and lifted my spirits. I had a new obligation & focus. I met new people & reasonably had to get myself together to be there despite my desire to crawl into a fetal position and cry.
You will get thru this. Church is also a great place to find a better selection of future partners. So maybe down the road that could be a thought for you. Praying for you.
Although I am a believer, I don't feel like going to church...I am not blaming anyone, just that I feel down and not wanting to do anything. But the situation is like such that we can't do many things, because covid and health issues... so adding that at the overall situation doesn't give me more options But will see...Thank you so much for your support!
Sometimes I think we really never move on from losing someone. But I also believe everything happens for a reason and good things come into our lives when we least expect them. This was a huge loss. Take the time you need to grieve. And be kind to yourself. You aren't alone. You are walking a path through life with everyone here. We are beautiful, kind and all have something unique to offer. A very special group. We will walk together.
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but thanks for the good wishes!
But will see...Thank you so much for your support!
How do you move on?
let’s move! 💃🏽 🕺🏽 
2021 - Forward as one!
