Got the call for my hysterectomy date today, I will be uterus free by the 21st of January. 8 days after my birthday....what do you get the girl who has everything?...a new uterus lol.
I reached out because I'm currently going through a bout of depression. And for some reason I just feel teary eyed (I'm PMSing atm) and I feel like I'm nothing. And for some stupid reason this upcoming op has made me feel more depressed & hopeless.
I feel like I'm crap. All the colour has faded from my life again but there's no black & white. Just darkness. I feel scared, alone & unloved. I feel so unworthy of anything & can't seem to scramble together one positive thought. Wish I was over.
"Disgustingly healthy reproductive system"...I will be honest & say I don't know how to reply to that. I'm wishing a car would knock me over, seems inappropriate. I have painful endometriosis & IBS...& a guarantee from the gynaecologist that the operation will not lessen the endo pain. So yeah...Thanks for the well wishes is usually the standard response, so let's go with that.
Yeah I feel nothing & yet feel too much. I feel so alone but I know no one cares. I'm teary as I right this because PMS sux. I would take it some what more in my stride. But I'm a piece of shit. No job for 6 years, in debt, no husband, no children, no money, crappy physical & mental health. Life sux for me & I can't wait for this life to be over. I gained 10 kilos since the panademic started, bags are starting to form under my eyes & my stomach is in permanent bloat with the stupid IBS. Fodmap is proving hard. I'm feeling sorry for myself & all the self pity is making me hate myself more. I know I'm depressed when I wake up & get disappointed that I'm still not dead. Classic signs for me, been through this depressive cycle for 30 years & I just don't have the energy anymore.
i'm not a gal... but that doesn't mean i'm not a lady ;o) i'm just a regular guy, that's in touch w/ his feminine side...
i may be off on this... but lemme take a stab at it... if i'm wrong, ignore me; but if i'm right keep reading...
it's no surprise the op has ya down.... that's gotta play havoc w/ your head. losing a uterus is not much different than losing a boob. it's part of your identity as a woman. it's part of your identity as a sexual being.
at least this is true for most people that have whatever issue w/ whatever sex bit.
but here's the thing - that's NOT what makes you a real woman. the plumbing between your legs is just plumbing. there's women out there that have guy plumbing. would you say they're less a woman?
i know some would debate me on this; but there's science behind me.
there's 3 components to sex: gender (physical plumbing); sexual preference (likes guys/likes gals); and - sexual identity (i feel like a gal / i feel like a guy - trapped in another body)
i'm not making light of losing a sex bit - that aint no small thing. i'm just saying - if possibly that's tied to your sense of womaninity, maybe it's playing a large role in your mood....
(and yea - that's a word - how do i know? i just made it up! isn't that how language works these days? )
if my swing is a hit, then know you're still all woman. if i missed, i'm sure i can come up w/ another thought...
in the end - you're not alone here!
hey i just realized.... i lost my uterus while i was "in utero" ... and i'm certainly no less a woman.... or just someone who makes up dumb, insensitive jokes....
i took another swing...
hope you can see the intended humor and overlook any stupid... its late, and i'm tired...
Love the effort. Quite in depth, if somewhat chaotic....but that could be since I'm physically & emotionally tired. Really appreciate the long response. No my uterus did not make me a woman but you will never see men line up to be neutered lol. I don't care about the organs, care about the loss of my dreams. Nothing is going right. Nothing seems to ever go right.
It's hard to sum up your life in a paragraph or explain all the origin of your pain & scars.
lost; tx, i appreciate you recognized my effort, and tolerated my chaotic and awkward [also tired] reply.
while i agree you won't see that line of men.... these days it seems more than ever - we could use a bit of neutering... if i had to guess, i'd say a solid 40% - but that's not limited to just men... i'm all about equality in my anger toward people in general.
so, if you don't mind my asking; would you care to elaborate on your lost dreams?
life isn't a guarantee, and much about it can suck. we don't always get what we want. but i think more often that not, we can get what we need (do you hear music and singing in your head - or is that just me?). but that's rarely handed to us; it takes work.
in order to do that work, you need a plan with realistic goals toward realistic dreams that are in concert with what life has handed you.
survey's and studies tell us that $ <> happiness. in fact, most people with alot of $ are far less happy than those with almost none.
i'm not making any assumptions about you, your financial status, or how you think. i'm just suggesting moderation in your expectations.
fulfillment comes with the attainment of goals that are reasonable or only slightly beyond that.
fulfillment puts you on a path to feeling better about yourself - and THAT helps everything fall into place.
just another thought for your consideration.
PS:
no forgiveness is required - we're all tired here... forgiveness is an assumed requirement! i TY for yours extended to me in my last post, and in advance for this one (if req'd)!! 💜
Hi 13ga,Totally agree forgiveness should be the basic requirement....a prerequisite if you will. In fact studies show the happiest people in the world do not only forgive themselves daily but don't live in the past. You can visit your memories but don't unpack your bags & decide to stay lol.
My dreams were realistic & as we age I hope for even less. Usually now I just want to be happy without it being such a concentrated effort. Dreams change. I wanted a guy who loved me, the real me. I wanted a baby. Wanted enough money to not have to stress & I picked up a bad habit of wanting to eat on occasion.
Before then, decades ago I wanted to be a theatre actress. To evoke emotions in people & in myself. Make words on paper come alive, live in different worlds.
I am poor, that is true but I don't put too much significance on money. I'm not a hoarder but a chucker anyway. It cleanses my soul.
Now I wish that everyday wasn't so damn hard, that when I was young I believed in myself more. I still don't believe in myself.
The neutering of men is an interesting topic...40% you say?!? I know the type of men who I would be lining up first haha.
"words on paper" - that dream is always achievable... especially in the times of electronic paper (internet). there are many places to publish, or just share your words; here included....
neutering - Lost - you seem surprised at my 40% - you think that's too low??! with reasonable debate, you could probably get me to 50% ;o)
i think this is just a start. in addition to neutering - I think everyone that wants to reproduce must pass a test. we need to improve our gene pool - stop the de-evolution!!
so what's your idea on types? here's some of mine - and again my list not limited to just men... but they are more likely to exhibit these traits:
- can you STFU about yourself for 5 f'g minutes and listen to someone else? no? go to the line!
- have you ever been wrong or guilty of misdeed? no? - TO THE HEAD of the line!!!
- your way or highway? - there's the line!
- men: re women: if kitchen, bare feet, and never-POTUS in the vocabulary ... skip the line ... next stop bottom of the ocean!
Lol I'm in such a good mood today, let's go for 50%. While I'm not a man-hater, I have been date raped...so you won't see me crying over a couple of balls hitting the ground.Gonna balance that out by saying there are some beautiful hearted men out there in the world. Haven't met them in real life, so I will do that picking dream dinner guests (for this exercise I will use men only since we have been a tad harsh with the neutering). So my dream 5 men to have dinner with, dead or alive....Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Alan Alda, Ricky Gervais and Robert Downey Jnr for deserrt.
Love you...you seem both intelligent, opinionated & humorous.
It is a shame dumb people breed, not in intelligence...there's a difference from being stupid & lacking the opportunity of having access to a proper education. Not knowing the answer to something you were never taught, is nothing to be ashamed of.
In my childhood...sometimes I missed out on education of any kind & food of any kind.
Yet I am not at all stupid but tend to act that way by choice. Aka being silly. I don't need to use big words in my daily conversations to show how intelligent I am. Honestly I'm on the scale at average lol. But a heart of gold lol.
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I can't believe I put deserrt instead of dessert. Just thinking of RDJ makes me stupid.
i'm so thrilled to hear you're in a good mood - that i'll go with you to 50% without debate!
i'm so sorry to hear about the date-rape - especially as a man - that angers the crap out of me... gives us men a bad name. Which is all the more a shame, because there are good, decent, caring guys out there - and guys that know WTF "no" means - and guys that have enough security, and respect to accept a single no (and guys that are all that AND hetero ).
it also irks me, because: you said I seemed intelligent and humorous - so I know that you are both intelligent and humorous to recognize that! and for that I love you back too (actually i LOVE aussie women so +2 to you). But it ticks me off, because you may be less likely to accept a date due the experience, and that mean less opportunity for me to meet a wonderful woman like you!!
(looking back, that may have been a long way to go for a smile :-).
now onto serious matters - your dream 5 men to dinner:
first lemme say - dead?? EWWW!!! that doesnt sound like the start of an enjoyable dinner - #1 - terrible conversation... #2 - oh yea... they're dead!
alan, ricky and robert all sound like great pics; all seem to be pretty funny and easy on the eyes... not sure bout ricky's sensitivity - but other 2 seems like plenty.
dumb people breeding - absolutely agree - access to knowledge is a critical piece of the answer. generally - when i refer to dumb people - i assume that means: unwillingness to learn, grow, or look beyond the self. And when it comes to answers - "i don't know" is absolutely preferred to some ego driven BS !
now we come to the awkward bit... i have to strongly disagree w/ you. you equated stupid to silly. and i don't think so....
stupid is turning on your turn signal before you turn into a ditch (yes i've seen someone do that). Silly is acting how you please no matter what people may think of you. that describes me. and you've already said you think i'm smart - so ipso facto, upside dingo, silly = smart.
i can appreciate acting stupid... you can always reveal the smart. But BEING stupid... well - you go no where to go! (well, except for the ditch)
Wow....you're beginning to seem perfect. Yes you are intelligent & funny. Plus likeable. Never found a guy I liked but than guys don't talk to me. Some say I'm intimidating, I love myself or a snob. God forbid I'm quiet due to social anxiety.You powered through a lot of topics...let's address a few. You love Australian women. I'm born in Australia but I'm diluted, Indian with a dash of English. People use to say I look normal but sound weird or my accent sounds normal but I look weird. Too old to care nowadays lol.
In my dream 5, it is assumed because it's a dream scenario, they would all be alive still. Ricky is ok, I'm not sensitive & although I can clearly see why he pisses so many people of....to me he's adorable. And the old podcasts of him, Stephen Merchant & Karl Pilkington has helped me out of a lot of depressive episodes. So he means a lot to me.
Will concede defeat to your higher intelligence & agree with the definition of silly = smart. So ipso facto I'm frickn' Einstein with the body like Marilyn Monroe. Swish...& she dunks. Woman power!!!
ok 1 by 1.... "i'm beginning to seem perfect" - STRONGLY disagree. FAR from it - but i might be willing to go in the direction of: imperfectly perfect; assuming that you like the amount of my imperfection.
'intelligent & funny' - i am only this to people that are smart enough to understand the ways i am intelligent. we are all dumb in certain ways. IQ only measures a part of overall, real life intelligence.
'likeable' - again - only to those i that i in turn would like!!!! my step-mom would def. not agree with that!!! ;o)
next - your intimidating, and possibly snobbish. are you trying to turn me on???? (it's working) .... oh and i've been accused of same.
love yourself? you f'g better! cause if you don't, at least a little (and not too much), then why should I or anyone else??? another yea in your column.
aussie/diluted... in truth - it's the accent i find sexy! so if you can fake that, i'm putty (but dont fake anything else . diluted - sounding more interesting. not caring what people say or think... stop it!! you're well on your way to imperfectly perfect also!!!!
dream 5- i'm relieved to know you assumed they were all living... Necrophilia - definite turn off for me! women that are alive, but act dead - may as well be dead... another turnoff....
as for ricky - i'm with ya there... i definitely appreciate insensitivity in humor (as long as everyone knows its a joke, and that insensitity doesn't promote bigotry).
"concede defeat" - i like a good debate, especially if i lose - only then do i learn something. On this point, tho - i accept your concession - cause i do think silly=smart.
"my higher intelligence" - seems like you're getting me pretty darn well - so that alone puts you at least, at my equal. and again, if you wanna know the truth - i like people smarter than me. maybe its selfish - but more for me to learn.
"einstein/marilyn" - holy f - i'm not gay, but you had me at einstein (maybe i am just a little ;o) !!
13 is my lucky number being my birth date. But so far my life has sucketh
Thank you for making me smile. Extremely impressive feat atm...going through another fighting round with my depression. At this moment, I must admit in all honesty I am not winning this fight. I envision the humongous Russian dude getting his ass kicked & hitting the floor face first in Rocky 4. That's how I feel. Of course...I'm not a giant, or blonde, or Russian for that matter lol. Let's just say my depression is winning, I even miss my ex narcacisstic ahole. I'm hoping he has Covid & is dead by now. I know I'm mean & dark. That's the good part...I look like sunshine....sweet thoughts & laughter. Blah blah blah.
Ok let's start, shall we? Perfect, sorry a word I carelessly tossed around since that state does not exist. Imperfectly perfect....is much better. That's how I think of myself, in fact use to think about writing a blog with that title
I agree that we are all both sides of the coin, stupid & intelligent. Of course there's your IQ, education level, life experience & emotional intelligence. It can become quite complicated so I will drop that subject since I'm extremely lazy. Be happy you can tie your own shoelaces & leave it at that lol.
People say I'm snobbish & intimidating....I'm 5"4...come on guys. Do pride myself that taller guys are scared by me. But it's all in their mind. I have absolutely no idea how I can instill fear in to anyone. One guy said it was the way I look at him. Yeah I do it with my eyes, pretty scary stuff haha.
Well I wouldn't be smarter than you & couldn't be bothered to try. My exboyfriend liked the idea of me being smart. He thought my silences & quiet observation of his group was some kind of quiet intelligent introspection. I was just nervous. I don't bother to please people now....or at least I'm trying to try not to be a people pleaser lol.
Einstein turns you on lol...
Won't judge at all since I have a slight crush on Abraham Lincoln. Must be that big hat
i was wondering if someone would question "13ga"... i'm open to answer... hope you're sitting down and ready... :-||
it's a very slant-wise, left-handed and disguised reference to what brought me to this forum.
for the last several years i've been beyond-words upset, and angered at what's been happening in my country. racism has become socially acceptable. all bigotry seems to be on the rise, or at least more accepted. i don't hear alot of people screaming about the injustices i've seen. i feel alone, isolated, and surrounded by intolerant, self-absorbed psychopaths, that are not only incapable of empathy, but that self reflection means seeing themselves in the mirror. they couldn't shut the f up long to listen to someone else if their life depended on it.
i've been so angry, at so many, including, and especially my own family, that i would very much like to take a 2x4 to their head. a 2x4 however is impractical, and requires effort...
13ga is short for 13 gauge, which is a disguised reference to a shotgun most commonly found in 12 gauge size. it's this, i should use instead of a 2x4 if i wanted to be more efficient and use less effort than a 2x4. the shotgun, however, does take some of the intimacy away, that's delivered with the [assumed] satisfying thud of a 2x4. tho i could never use either for that purpose, the idea did provide a perverse albeit limited release of that anger.
i always knew that fantasy was unproductive, and a waste of my time and energy, but it was something that gave me the occasional inward smile.
bet you weren't expecting that being unloaded.... :-||
i'm uplifted, and find joy in the knowledge that i've helped you to smile!!! i've hated people for so long, i cant tell you what a relief it is to find other like minded people here. to find people i can genuinely say - i like. i'm sorry to hear you feel like depression is winning - but i am amused beyond words at your "meanness and darkness" - because i've just shown you my potential for meanness and darkness. i hope all the narcissistic aholes get covid and die. altho, if they did - it would make me less shiny and wonderful. So i really need to appreciate and embrace the narcissitic aholes, because they help me stand out!!!
so i'm both dark, and warped. but hopefully in a good or funny way. and i look sane, and amiable.
yes, let's start! imperfectly perfect - what a perfect name for a blog!! great minds think alike....
iq... "emotional intelligence" - there ya go... you found my stupid side... altho i'm learning... i can tie my shoelaces, but that could've been a leap of faith on your part! and bla bla bla... we'll leave it there...
(i say bla bla too - when you say that - do you hear the sound from charlie brown cartoon, when an adult talks - sounds like "wah wah wah" - or is that just me?)
snob and intimidate - i can absolutely believe that you can do that! any insecure man/boy is easily intimidated by any woman that threatens any paranoid insecurity in their head. so yep - you're really 7' with devil red eye's to anyone that fits that description!
maybe you don't scare me, and maybe i see you as attractive, because i got the devil in me too!!
smarter... i refuse to believe you're not smarter than me, at least on the scale of emotional intelligence, if not in other ways too. i'm also trying not to be a people pleaser... it's exhausting, and i'm really tired. time for me to look out for me a little. especially when i'm not appreciated when i bend over backward and barely get a thank you in return. it's taken me a LONG time to learn that lesson! so on the emo-int scale - i'm a slow learner. maybe even belong in a "special" class :-).
einstein / abe - big hat.... al had big hair!! what's not to like!??! ROTF!!!
No I wasn't expecting that. It makes me sad. The anger & hatred that you hold within, you're hurting yourself the most. Hatred is drinking poison & expecting the other person to die. I can't say I understand ur situation it would be a lie. Of course I won't judge you because in this I'm really lost. I hate guns. I can't say I understand & it sounds scary to me.
But I will be honest to admit that if you didn't know me & knew what my heart was like I would sound like a psychopath. Which is why I only talk about some of the things I wish was still done with my mum. Decapitation of heads & putting them on pikes etc. Not to anyone of course just serial killers, rapists, paedophiles & such.
I scare myself so mostly watch Disney or Pixar. I don't watch the news & can't get involved in any drama shows..which suck. If I watch a scary movie it has to be in the day time followed by a cartoon lol. I still love rainy days, & building forts with blankets & hiding from the monsters of the world outside. Chocolate also helps to make me more brave lol.
I just use the words, blah, blah, blah instead of bullshit, bullshit, bullshit lol. Sometimes I talk so much I get tired, then I start to mumble instead of properly pronounciating each damn syllable. Moving your mouth & breathing can be quite exhausting lol.
Well I hope I don't have the devil inside me since there's enough aholes in this world already & I don't want to join the team. I'm team animals....not really team human.
Ditto for a person of average intelligence I am an extremely slow learner. Like I get blown away by how dumb I am. I have to make the same mistake over & over & over again. Not the brightest fish in the tank lol.
It's smart to focus on one's improvement, that's how we make the world one ahole short. Hatred is something I refuse to let live in my heart. I really hope you do the same
hey lost - sorry if i brought you down a little; i'm not gonna lie... but there was a lot of good and positivity in there...
I AM moving past the anger - i no longer play those stupid vignette's in my head for a smile. and i am letting most of that crap that angered me roll off, with little of it sticking anymore. i'm still not feeling motivated, so i'm still not in the best place. but i'm far better than i was...
and you are absolutely right - i was drinking poison, and hoping the other would die. couldn't have said it better. i'm done drinking the poison now! it tastes like s_it.
yes, it's clear you have a dark side - that doesn't scare me off. i have one too. but the empathy and compassion i've seen from you time and time again - tells me without any doubt - you are no psychopath. that - or you completely suck at being a psychopath!
as for guns - i don't hate them - i hate the evil fk's that use them to perpetrate evil on others. pikes to the worst of the worst - AGREE!
building forts w/ blankets? sounds like fun!! count me in!! let's make big forts, with tunnel's and rooms and hidey holes!!!!
i like bullshit - the word. it's expressive; it really conveys the passion. words like that are wonderful for getting the passion out! in fact - scientific studies have actually shown the use of curse words DO relieve stress more than "accepted" replacement words. so i say let 'em fly!
i often get tired of hearing me talk.... i can really be very tiring! i sometimes exhaust me.
the devil comment - please don't mistake my intent - i meant that in the good way - the playful devil, not the evil one. the little devil that wants to play a fun joke that all can laugh with; not the one who wants to laugh AT anyone. and we're clearly on the same team. Animals first, people last (most).
I think we've both agreed, that i can be fairly smart in certain ways. but in many ways - i'm a VERY slow learner also - especially when it comes to people, and emotions. we're all dumb in certain ways - that doesn't put you in the lead!
hatred is an interesting thing... i agree in concept that we don't want it in our hearts. however - i don't think you can have love without some form of hatred. afterall - isn't hatred an extreme form of dislike? i think they're in the same realm. when you truly get to know someone, love them - you will undoubted find some things you dislike. but loving them means you accept them for all they are - the good and the bad. it means (IMHO) that you embrace the hate, and love it along with the good - which hopefully out-weighs the ""bad"". i double quote that, b/c again - we're talking about the imperfections that make us.
i don't think we can eradicate hate - it's built into the species. i think we need to embrace and control it, and not let it overwhelm and drive us. (accept it - but not accept behaviors from it)
so i embrace the whole of you, darkside included. you sound like a wonderful, open-minded person, smart in some ways, less in others - just like everyone else. no need to obsess over who's middle finger is longer... that's just plain bullshit! or blah blah, if you prefer! ;o)
Awwhhh you think I suck at being a psychopath?!?! How sweet is that, you're making me blush. It's like music to my ears lol 🤪🤪🤪 I will try harder hehe
Glad you are letting go of the dark side lol. Never saw one Star Wars movie...assuming its from one of those movies???. Don't like any movie involving alien/space crap.
Love movies based on a true story, although I know it's loosely based at best. Hidden Figures was a good movie. Don't like the main actress but every time she does that monologue at Kevin Costner....I cry every time. I'm such a light weight lol.
Stick to guns in movies....love the John Wick series. Damn something about a man in a 3 piece suit killing people that does it for me. Revenge movies, I love....Jodie Foster in "The Brave One" where she seeks her own revenge out on the bad guys. It's easy for me to go to the dark side, so watch The Big Bang Theory a lot...mainly for the bright colours.
Do believe that colours effect your mood.
I try not to hate...mostly because I'm lazy & it does nothing to benefit my mental health.
Must admit I don't pay much attention to my middle finger lol....is like a pissing contest, or who has the longer you know what? Don't have a penis, so I'm not going to win that one lol.
Ok going to go & frickn' exercise, would rather kill myself right now than exercise.
omg you make me smile!! trying hard at being psycho... that's funny... i'm sorry to disappoint, but you need actual brain damage to be psycho, and it seems you're lacking in the that kind of brain damage... i'd suggest a 2x4 - but honestly... i'm pretty happy w/ the brain damage you're already exhibiting!!! ;o) I do like the blushing... gives you an attractive tinge of innocence... i'd like to put my ears next to yours... i'm interested in hearing the music you're hearing!! i've got lots of music i hear in my head - but i wouldn't recommend you visit that place - it's F'g scary in there!!!
starwars/alien space crap.... WOW you really know how to crush some good wordplay !!!! yes, ref was from starwars... which, i think the original 6 movies were spectacular sci-fi depictions of real humanity at both its best and worst. do NOT bother with any starwars movie after those 6 - they're all sad, UN-creative ripoff's and repeats of the original 6!!! star trek is another stellar awesome franchise - not always for the acting or special effects - but because of the writing. many of those are articulate metaphors for the human plight.
lost - give sci-fi a chance!!! besides neither of us wants to be on this planet anyway!!! let scifi transport you to a better world!!!! i mean shit - you got "stars" right in your name !!!!! how can you not like space stuff!!!!???
nother thing about star-trek.... it's based on a LOT of true science. most of the technology the original series depicted - has come true!!! that's no accident - it was smart people extrapolating where they saw technology going.
another f'g-awesome example of this is black-mirror (netflx). each episode stands on its own, but they all work together to tell a story about humanity - and where we may end up, if we're not careful in the use and application of today's tech.
LOVE the john wick series!!! doesn't that just make you wanna grab a gun, go to a range - and blow something up!?!?! looks like soooo much fun!!! and - FYI - i have a 3-piece suit, and while i could never kill anyone - i surely would like to kill a few people - and i'd have NO problem blowing the crap out of a paper stand-in!!!!
and - big bang theory!!! OMG love it!!! PS: i AM sheldon!!!! (in alot of ways) i sooooooo get him!!!
fyi - studies have shown that colors DO in fact, effect your mood. ie: pink and colors around that hue have definitive calming effect on prisoners. obviously you dont need to be criminal to enjoy the effect, but that's how the study was done.
and yes - you got it... middle finger was a stand-in for pissing contest, or penis size.... and please don't sell yourself short... you have a penis - ISH... your clitoris is your version of it. and exactly how the minds of people that think penis size is important - the greater the importance, the smaller the brain... the import of your "clit" is not in its size, but how it's used. this applies to penis's and brains too!!!!!
and usually, someone that uses one well - uses all well !!!!!! dam, u gettin sexier all the time!
yes - please go exercise, and while you're doing that - try to exercise your demons also !!!! ;o)
lastly - before you kill yourself for hating your life - may I offer you a nice hot cup of tea!?!?!? :-o)))))))
Always thought I already had the necessary amount of brain damage lol. I'm quite lazy, which is why I could never understand stalkers. Going through somebodies rubbish, following them....geez seems like a lot of work to me. Prefer to go for a nap haha.
I'm getting the vibe that you like Star Wars or I could be wrong lol. Sorry won't go there. I love this planet, just not the people on it. Stay for the animals. I did watch The Passenger with that Chris something guy. I liked that, sort of a love story but interesting. I'm not a chick flick sort of girl. It's set in space but had the absence of aliens which helps greatly for me to stomach it.
OMG frickn' love tea but only T2 French Earl Grey because I'm a tea snob & it's ruined me for all other tea. Can't even handle the strength of black tea now. Got myself hooked on an expensive habit.
Going to try & push myself to a yoga class today. Sounds Impressive even to my own ears but I don't know if I will just bail at the last moment. Constantly nauseated and my endometriosis is kicking my ass. Mostly just want to vomit. If you find that sexy....you're just sick lol.
stalkers - yea right!?!? waaaaaay tooooo much work!!!!!! screw that!
as for the planet / not the people - yea i agree... but it's kinda a package deal... if we could ship all the disagreeable people off to mars... that works for me.... that'd be a definite upgrade to planet earth ver. 1.0 !!!!
well - if you like a love story - then you should be all over star wars! lmao! but seriously - what about avatar!!??? OMG - got something for everyone - hot blue aliens, some bang bang shoot 'em up; and an epic love story that transcends the confines of species!!! great storyline, killer special effects. ok ok - so how about we bring it back to earth.... middle earth!? lord of the rings!! the epic of epics!!!! all indigenous to earth... just pushing into fantasy a little... ?
tea snob... ok - now we talkin! i HATED earl grey - UNTIL i tried a good loose leaf brand - who knew that earl grey came with bergamot!!!?? (now i love it)!
so you wanna talk snob? i hold degree's in snobbery for: teas (green tea - hurumph - macha - and from japan please), coffee (roast my own), scotch (select single malts please), anything cherry - only the BEST, most realistic cherry flavors, ice cream ewww - only the best true custards, omg sooo many more...
expensive? maybe - but screw it - you're worth it, and ya only live once! who wants to die not knowing that earl grey has bergamot!!
very sorry to hear about the nausea and endometriosis... that def. sux big time.... as for the nausea... have you tried ginger? scientifically proven to help w/ nausea - but not that BS crap ginger ale in a can that has no real ginger... ooooo have i got a recipe for you.... hows this sound: ginger tea! take fresh ginger root; grate or finely chop - steep in hot water; dilute and sweeten to your taste... yummers!! and for any nausea i've experienced - it settled my stomach almost immediately!!
make a large batch - refrigerate, or even better - freeze into cubes and store in freezer indefinitely!!
i've used this as a base to make my own ginger syrup, and ginger sorbet (to die for - if i do say so myself) ! oh yea... i might be a bit of a ginger snob.... oh and nutmeg - never pre-ground - buy the nuts, they keep forever, and a microplane makes grounds instantly. yea - the snob runs deep in this one (yes another star wars reference; how can ya not like yoda?)
no - can't say i find endometriosis sexy... but you are... as for me being sick... well that's a whole 'nother debate!! ;o)
Sorry saw Avatar....did nothing for me. To each his own taste. Agree to disagree & all that. OMG you're a nerd...aren't you? But don't worry nerds are now kind of cool. (So some people think) You're starting to remind me of the nerdy characters from Big Bang Theory lol. Just please no man bun or Ned Kelly beard. For the love of God....not that!!!Forgive me you're probably a youngin' but I'm 45 & the cool hipster thing is sooo not attractive.
Plus for the tea loving vibe....a real man drinks tea. You do have refined taste, hate scotch but love drinking spirits. Vodka & bourbon are my favourite. Champagne and wine give me headaches on the first sip. Plus they taste disgusting. Love custard....lol reminds me of being little, but only solid custard needs to have the consistency of jelly. You sound like a chef. Something definitely runs deep with you, trying to decide what though lol.
How can you find me sexy when you haven't seen me...unless you find my intelligence sexy...or my personality....sense of humour...I got so many things really lol.
lmfao! yep little nerdy... and alot of geeky. but without the awkward part.... i like to think of it as "best of" nerd/geek.
rotf - big bang theory - i'm "starting" to remind you - in my "omg you make me smile" reply - not only did i compare myself to sheldon - but i offered you a cup of hot tea - that's a full on rip from his character! yea i really get him! AND - i have asked a therapist many times - if i'm sane. they've always said yes - tho i've never been "tested".... hehehe
FWIW - no man bun - don't do it for me.... ned kelly beard?? i had to google him - hell no!!!! do have a very tight, trimmed stache and goatee. which mostly i've had to make me look older... if i shave them, i'd probably pass for late 30's... maybe... i'm pushin 50... but eat right, try to take care - i think i could pass late 30's if i shaved clean... don't think i'm deluding myself.... so that was a long way to say no forgiveness required.
i def love a good tea! scotch is an acquired taste i used to like vodka (still do) but not to the level of scotch. some burbon's... but i also love a good fru-fru drink!! yep - gimme an umbrella in that glass - and i'm probably happy! love good red wines, and dark beers too. so while i can be pretty snobby - i have a wide swath of things to be snobby with.
not a chef - just appreciate good stuff. my best friend not a chef, but cooks like one - he's one of those "super tasters" - i've learned alot from him. so i also enjoy cooking.
"something runs deep w/ me"... well - lot of people say i'm full of s*it... but i usually tell them - because i'm vegan - i'm regular as clockwork, so i empty that stuff out daily! i pretty much run deep with everything. anything i get interested in... i do deep dives. can be tiring - sometimes i dont know when enough is good enough... (i'm a transitioning perfectionist ).
and yep - you're sexy as F*. intelligence, sense of humor (especially warped) - they top my list... remember my 1st reply to this thread? i said i qualified as a lady, b/c i'm in touch w/ my fem side.... but trust me - there's still guy in here too - i'm not totally deep - i look at appearances too... but i think in very atypical ways. like i said somewhere else... i'm eclectic... i'm also an enigma wrapped in a puzzle surrounded by a moat. ;o)
... fallin in love w/ yourself - why not? you sound like a great catch - who'd blame you!
Is there such a thing? King of the geek/nerds. I bow to thee my lord. Can you get any geekier than that. Will let you pass since I'm slightly pathetic myself. Must confess I love the medieval crap...always wanted to go to one of those dress up festivals. I want to do the dress up thing, love the way the ladies dress in those times. But it's in the pass tense, I've outgrown it....thankfully.
Sheldon was my favourite character, so much so my car is named "Sheldon". Jim Parsons made the show.
You do seem intense. I'm glad you can cook. I was brought up watching my oldest brother cook & clean. So to me I thought all guys did that, was I in for a surprise lol.
Thank you for the compliments, certainly don't feel sexy lol. See myself growing old alone or not growing old at all. Relationships are too hard for me, life is too hard for me atm.
ok, is it weird i just pictured a non-descript you along w/ a room filled w/ other people all dressed in medieval garb, bowing and curtsying to me on my throne, sword in hand resting on floor, crown on my head; all saying something like 'yes, my liege' ?
hmmm asked and answered - yes, i can be geekier than that.
don't have a medieval sword, but i do have a samurai sword...
geekier still? maybe i should stop now....
car named sheldon - i love it!!!! well since i identify so much w/ sheldon, then maybe my geekness isn't a problem...
at risk of looking pathetic and/or silly - or blowing up your geek meter - i'll tell ya this - maybe worth a smile for you....
do you remember the shirts that sheldon wore a few times - the one's with sound waves on them? i snapped a screen shot of his shirt and i transferred the sound waves into an audio studio program - so i could play and hear what was on his shirt!!! (don't remember what it was tho) if i'm gonna be king of the geeks/nerds - i'm gonna own it!!
all guys cook/clean... omg rotflmao!!
YW for the compliments - i meant them, so you can own them!
you are sexy... and i may be a freak, but i know i'm not the only one!
growing old alone - you won't be alone; single, maybe, not alone.
not growin old; i know that desire too. but you don't know what'll be there if you don't try to go there.
and F**k; relationships hard for everyone. only easy ones are with your pets (and they still can be PITA's)!
Don't remember all of Sheldon's shirts but some of them I even thought were pretty cool. I'm watching him now lol. I'm not obsessed with Sheldon, he's the white noise in my life. Trying to get my head around the waves on his shirt & you translating to audio form to hear what it sounded like. If I had a million dollars would never of thought of doing that. You sound smart...or sad....trying to work out which one lol. Please don't have a collection of figurines. My mum's neighbour uses his garage to house his collection. It soooo sad.
Jim parsons himself actually never read comic books or ever watched Star Trek.
Yeah own a cat, my fat little baby. She is a real pain in the ass. Of course I'm her servant, she has trained me well. High maintenance is not the word. I wish I had her life. She sleeps, eats, gets daily massages from me & suffers through my kisses. She has me wrapped around her finger or claw as the case may be. She has a heart shaped little face with a chubby body. She is such a piglet. 6 years later, when I see her sleep I still can't help smiling. I love her so much it's stupid. Even I can't believe it & I know I'm an animal lover.
yea i'm not obsessed w/ sheldon or big bang (tv) - certain things just tend to stick in my head.... i am obsessed w/ the actual big bang, and cosmology on the whole tho.... along with most things sciencey, or mathy, or physicsy, or techy.... yea there's alot...
i sound smart... or sad... your working it out.... cool - let me know when the jury returns its verdict!! (more option(s) - can i be both? also 'pathetic' has been used at least once ;-))
on the plus side - i have no figurines! unless you count a little scooby doo - when tummy pressed, says 'ruby dooby dooo!!' . again on plus side - it was a gift... possibly on the negative side... i still have it....
i never read comic books either - but its a crime against nature that jim never watched star trek!! what a lazy crappy actor would not do his background research!!
thrilled to hear about your cat! i've got 3! - yep, lord of geeks/nerds, and servant to cats. 3 siblings - 1 normal sized, 2 uber-super sized - not fat - just massive animals. 1 is 3 feet tip to tail!! both can stand up and look at whats on kitchen counter! all 3 unique personalities, and PITA's in their own way. 1 likes to beg for ice cubes.
so - i guess you can say my cats take after me... we're all weird, and eccentric!!
i'm really glad you have your cat... they're great for mental health... even if they can be pita's... ;o)
I hope all goes well for your surgery. I had a complete hysterectomy years back. My fr asked me before my surgery as far as HRT goes, did I want the patch or pill? I said I don’t need any of that....she said I guarantee you in one week you will be on the phone in tears depressed asking for it. I said nope not me.......yep, it was less than a week after surgery and I was more depressed than I ever thought I could be.....on HRT now....I was completely opposite depressed within a few days......just ask your dr about it. No harm in asking.....my prescription costs me $4 a month too...it was a lifesaver then! Good luck and let us know how you are doing ok? We all care!!!!
Yeah my mum waves about it & my sister told my mum, "oh great!" When she heard about my approaching operation. I find my "sisters" words of little comfort as we are as emotionally close as strangers on a bus are. I die today, she gets it over by tomorrow. No big deal...I don't love her anyway. She's a half-sister but to me she will always be nothing lol. It's a mutual thing.Don't worry I will be HRTing it. Lol.
I forgot to mention an online group called “Hystersisters”.....com or org or something. The understand every single feeling you will feel after the surgery. Mentally emotionally and physically! Highly recommend them.
Sooo I wonder can you Love someone you never met?? Well I'm sending Love your way and lots of it... When you share messages like yours it touches everyone who reads it.. Whatever you do, Don't give up!!! You have to have to look for and Find the right in any and everything that takes place in YOUR LIFE.. THERE IS NO TIME FOR FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.. Your material, your body has been crying for this hysterectomy.. You are going to feel soooo much better.. You will have a new walk and a new talk. And most of all NO MORE PAIN AND DISCOMFORT!!! 2021 is going to be New for you.. You have to ask the universe WHY, and you have to look in your soul and know why these things are happening.. You just don't know how strong you really are.. Be Happy Beautiful even in the mist of a storm.. Welcome this surgery.. Soooo many women has had it.. You can do this.. When was the last time you played your favorite song or sung it out loud??? You have to find you again.. Don't give your power to negative thoughts.. And when you feel scared read Psalms 23..over and over.. You are hear on this planet for a reason.. We've all been here before.. You have got to be wondering what is your purpose in this Lifetime.. Well you are blessed with TIME TO FIND OUT.. YOUR BODY HAS TO PREPARE for the love of your life thats coming.. Don't give up on Life.. Live your life in this lifetime.. Find your place.. Find your Peace... And after your surgery.. And you are healed and well... Write about your journey.. You have a story to tell.. Don't let this part of your life defeat you.. You made it... Play the Bee Gees or some Old School Songs you grew up listening too.. And Be Well.. Be Happy.. Take a Hott bubble bath be thankful.. And Tell God how thankful you are while you are in that hot tub of water.. Know that you are being thought of by someone in Georgia.. You Got This Girl!!!
Geez it's like you're my soul mate lol. Can you love someone you never met? Well let's see worked out for Tom hanks & Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle lol. I do in fact love the Bee Gee's & you have thankfully reminded me of the brave ladies who did it before me. If they can, well I shouldn't complain too much. Just enough lol.
Thank you so much, first time in a long time that someone touched me so deeply with their kind words & beautiful heart. Keep forgetting there's people like you around. You make the world a better place just for being in it.
You Are Most Welcome, Continue to be That Bright Light that you are. I haven't been on here this year. I'm glad I came across your message, yours was the first one to call on me.. I'm glad I could assist.. You got this.. And I meant everything I said.. And it's OK to complain.. You've never been through this before.. The thing is to not give it power. Know that you got this...
Thank you once again. My lucky day you read my rant. Just needed some backup from the sisterhood out there. Since I'm a feminist, love seeing & hearing ladies support & lift each other up. What beautiful & powerful creatures we are!!! Women rule!!!
They can take away my uterus but they will never take away my chocolate!!
😁
This happened to someone I was very close with. She had got a hysterectomy due to fibroid growths which the doctors claimed would prevent her from getting pregnant. She also went through a huge depression because she thought her chances of getting pregnant were now slim to none, (she was already 35 years old) and now she has a 1 year old son and very happy.
I’m sorry you are depressed and scared for this surgery, I would be terrified to. But you will get through this and be taken care of, I think the surgery is more common than most of us are aware of. I never heard of a hysterectomy until I started meeting multiple people who had to go through it.
It must be extremely difficult to hear that you have to have this done, but any questions or feelings you have please reach out to me.
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LGrace....thank you, that's such a lovely gesture & I thank you for the offer. 😊
Totally agree we are more than baby making machines as much as having sex doesn't magically makes you in to a woman. Whilst I am not a virgin. I didn't need a man to make me a "woman". A fact I was told early in my life by one of my brothers. "You know that sex doesn't make you in to a woman right? You already are one". Wish more teenage girls knew that. Even I didn't really get the importance of that message at that time. I'm a very slow learner lol.
Well I'm turning 46 next month....how times pass when you wish it was over already lol.I'm sure you're not a prude but some guys can tend to treat you like a bucket now days. And half the crap they brought into sex & are trying to pass it off as the norm is ridiculous. It's always been a male orientated society, no matter what topic you discuss. But saying that I don't talk about "politics". Really don't want to wave the red flag for heated discussions lol.
Another brother (I use to have five) once said to me when I was a teenager, " it's never wrong what you & a guy do together, unless you don't want to do it, then it's wrong".
Great pearls of wisdom, really wish I wasn't such a dumb ass at the time.
I’m sorry to hear that. My aunt got it removed like 10 years ago and she is doing well and live normal life. I wish you the best.
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Thank you. For some reason I've reached out to you guys & haven't even told my best friend. My emotions are all over the place, teary, accepting, now today I've been just bitchy & cruel. Gave in to my depression & just slept today. Sometimes you throw in the towel.
Don't want to be around anyone, hate hurting people's feelings & all I want to do is strike out blindly. All well some days I tend to suck! So like the hulk, keeping in the shadows lol.
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You’re always welcomed. I want you to know we are here women support each other because we know how it’s like to feel hurt n pain not only as human but as a woman . We go through more with everything. However I want to assure you, everything will be alright. My aunt is actually healthier than be before. How I think about any sickness is once we got treated, we always come out better version than we were before 🤗
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Yeah that what worries me....from personal experience & observations of close friends & family...they were always worse for wear after. Had endo for awhile & then 4 years ago had a laparoscopy & after the pain esculated. Now I experience daily chronic pelvic pain, which intensifies with my period. If I just didn't have that damn laparoscopy, my pain wouldn't of increased & my left ovary would not be glued to my fallopian tube.My mum's brain surgery for her tumours also escalated her pain. She now lives with daily chronic pain.
I don't know...feel like a downer atm. Think I will shut my mouth lol.
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i used to like vodka (still do) but not to the level of scotch. some burbon's... but i also love a good fru-fru drink!! yep - gimme an umbrella in that glass - and i'm probably happy! love good red wines, and dark beers too. so while i can be pretty snobby - i have a wide swath of things to be snobby with.
Hi all
I have real trouble agreeing this is all anxiety 
The world et all
I just want the world to see her smile...
I really regret calling my therapist. 
