Suicide Talk

[LennyL]

Does anyone else feel that this chat room is completely inappropriate for people who are thinking about suicide??? We aren’t the professionals. It scares me. Input?

[Hidden]

Thinking and talking are two things. Different too.

Just wanted to point that out.

I can see where it can be scary for one to read something strong like that. But reality is, it’s just what it is.

I’m comfortable enough to share my experiences. Because I can’t do anything but have them happen and it means nothing to hold on to something that may help another.

It’s not at all inappropriate, to answer your question. Severe depression can bring about suicide ideation. I’m not a professional either and I speak from a place of support.

You seem to be limiting and/or pushing away a certain type of folk. It doesn’t work that way. We are here for each other. We are here to try and understand each other the best way possible. You can gain so much from simply reading and not making posts like this.

However I am not trying to invalidate your concern. I’ve made my point I believe. 🥱

😀 compassion. Self-compassion.

Much love to you, have an awesome Sunday

[LennyL in reply to Hidden]

I’m literally talking to a girl that wants to end her life this instance. And my close friend killed himself wednesday. And my best friend hung herself 10 years ago. I know what I’m talking about, I not pushing anything. Don’t ever assume what someone else is thinking. I know exactly what suicide does to people!!

[Hidden in reply to LennyL]

That’s tragic. I can’t imagine how that makes you feel. And I didn’t assume.

That’s why I stated I wasn’t trying to invalidate your post.

My words and response came from my insecurity with my inner chatter since I had posted something that followed your post. Selfish yeah, but I didn’t assume your reason for posting.

I attacked my own self if anything.

I’ll say it again, we are here for each other. It’s not only the ones who experience these tragic moments, but so do their loved ones. The pain it brings is no lesser or greater.

My apologies on my selfish aggressive sounding response. I did not intend to invalidate or minimize your question.

Hope you’re having a great day. We all deserve it. Much love 💛

[Sillysausage234]

This is a depression open forum unfortunately suicides happen when people get depressed....lonely and isolated....hopefully the site offers support so people don’t feel the need

[LennyL in reply to Sillysausage234]

I get that

[Tellmeaboutit]

well, posting here certainly isnt the best option for someone who is truly suicidal, but it’s not the worst choice either.

more to the point, replying to a post from a suicidal member should be much better than ignoring them, or telling them they are in the wrong place.

id like to think we’ve helped lots of people in crisis get through a hard time or seek more appropriate support or even get into treatment for the first time

of course lots of times idk what to say, so i just dont say anything. we all have unique experiences and insights. help the ones you feel you can, and just “do no harm” for the others.

besides, sometimes it helps the posters just to have a place to vent, to know that someone is listening, that someone cares.

how are YOU doing?? anything we might (try to) hep you with?

[LennyL in reply to Tellmeaboutit]

Never said I ignored them. I’m still talking to them. Have any of you really read what I said??? Like catch up bc this girl is suffering

[Sillysausage234 in reply to LennyL]

Hi ....my response was input about the question you asked.....now more facts are coming out it’s understandable you’re anxious....tell her to seek urgent professional advice ....you seem to be getting annoyed with people taking time to respond?

[Sleeplessme]

I doubt I would ever commit suicide, for my daughters sake if nothing else, I couldn't do that to her. But last night when my anxiety was at an all-time high I certainly had that feeling in my head as it felt like the only way to end the suffering.

I found this place last night, and within a couple of hours of openly chatting with people, a couple in particular who I'll always be grateful to, I felt far more relaxed and positive and so much better. Without them I have no idea where I'd be today.

To answer your question, no, it's not completely inappropriate. In an ideal world it wouldn't be nessesary and there would be far better places with qualified doctors and psychologists ready to help all. But it's not an ideal world.

I'm very glad this place was here though, and I'm sure there are other people with suicidal thoughts who have also been helped by coming here.

I'm really sorry you've been so close to people that have commited suicide, and no one would blame you if you stepped away from such posts, you can't take all that responsibility for yourself. But if your experience can help save just one life then you are simply amazing. You need to try not to blame yourself for what other people do though. It never has and never will be your fault. It's ultimately their choice. Always.

[Hidden]

I get what you mean love.I have read now 3 times in the past couple of days people wanting to end their lives ,and it does upset me ,I'm not professional so cannot help them if. would be better if there was a room where people could go on line where they could talk to a professional like calling the Samaratins here in UK. Just hope those 3 people are safe and well.

[Afrohair]

If someone who is ready to commit suicide has a lot of support on here causing them not to commit suicide I don't think it's inappropriate for someone to be on here .this is a support forum !so that is what we are here for regardless of the persons situation! no we are not professionals but we could argue that so called professionals aren't either they would never know what it's like to be in the other persons shoes and they are an element of support as well.

[hypercat54 in reply to Afrohair]

There are several aspects to this.First the members are given the appropriate crisis lines in their country along with other helpful advice.

Second these types of posts are taken off because a) I imagine it is to avoid things like suicide pacts, and b) other members can get very upset. I have been here for quite a long time and remember 2 suicides here. It did trigger some people and a few left because of it.

Finally what is to prevent a troll (especially if the post is unlocked) coming in urging them to kill themselves? There are sick individuals who will troll social media to find exactly these types of posts to spill their ire on.

This is just an online site and a responsible one. It's function is limited and can't provide professional help if the moderators think that is needed. There are plenty of suicide forums online (I know because I have been on them) which are peer led.

I understand how upset and traumatising it is when someone wants to kill themselves and we as kerbside analysts can't help them or try to prevent them. But it is done for the sake of the majority on here and that is considered of more importance.

I'm not saying I necessarily agree or disagree with this stance but I can see the reasoning behind it.

[Afrohair in reply to hypercat54]

I just find it strange that this was even made as a post what if the person who was ready to commit suicide saw this post .this really should be taken down and whatever was spoken about with another member of the forum privately should stay private unless shared with admin only

[hypercat54]

This is how admin deal with ithealthunlocked.com/anxiety-....

And healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[-132]

It is so sad, that so many people feel this way. I think posting on here, is probably their only option. They may not have loved ones. I have never personally suffered from depression I count myself very lucky and I believe unless you have truly felt that low, you can't ever begin to comprehend how someone must feel.

[Dolphin14]

When I first joined I responded to a post someone had written about suicide. I was pretty scared speaking to this person to be honest. I did end out talking to admin during the post. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be saying to this person.

Well this person PM me later and thanked me for sticking with the conversation. That my talking helped them calm down. We have been speaking for over a year. It was a sad, scary conversation that brought us together. I'm just glad I was in the right place.... here... at the right time to respond to the post.

So to answer your question I think it is important for a depressed person to reach out for help here.

[Hidden]

Hi Lenny🙂First of all, I am so very, very sorry for your losses.

Second of all, I won't insult you by saying that I completely understand how scared you are. I checked your profile to confirm what I thought you were referring to (that I know the post you're talking about). I was in on that too and I needed to take a long walk afterwards. I ran into my landlord on my way down the driveway. All he had to do was ask "how are you?" and I burst into tears. I agree with you here. You are completely right; none of us is qualified for any of this. We are strictly a peer support group. I am not sure how things can change, though. Hopefully admin will see this post and talk about it amongst themselves? I don't know what else to say.

[Marysblue]

I completely get what you're saying it is scary. I wish people would get on here and ask for help before they get to that point and take the suggestions you offer. Are there group leaders that are monitoring? And can direct them to suicide chat room hotlines were there are trained people. I left a Facebook group because it was all young people posting about suicide. I wasn't sure if some of them were pranking . It just got to be too much and too depressing for me.

[Hidden in reply to Marysblue]

Hypercat54 provides a couple links with info on how administration deals with this. You can find these further up this thread.To answer your question yes, we have 2 moderators: adaaadmin and admin14.

I am sorry you went through that with your FB group. I can only imagine how scary that was.

[Hidden]

It’s a very sensitive topic of course. I just hope and pray someone with these serious thoughts finds the support and help they need and reaching out to someone who they can trust. Help is always available.

I always find it heartbreaking to hear about suicide 😳. I always try and be there for someone if they are feeling like this. Definitely a serious topic. Some people might not know how to cope with this. 😳

[Jeff1943]

To end up talking with someone with suicide on their mind is a great challenge. I think we should start by saying that if the act feels imminent they should immediately see their doctor, therapist or visit ER/A&E.

Then we should do our best to remind them that life won't always seem this bad and they have the power to change their life completely.

We are all anonymous here so can't send an ambulance for them. So that's all we can do: our best which may or not be helpful. But I suggest we all have a responsibility to try and to do our best

[notanotter]

You ask a great question. I have been wondering the same thing lately, especially after reading many posts by one person who then never posted again. Did he do it? He sounded as if he meant to. That’s just a historical example but the anxiety lingers and I hope he’s gotten through his valley of darkness.

It would be helpful for the admins to regularly post - maybe with an automatic reminder - how to respond when someone says they want to commit suicide.

I too feel outside my depth. We need guidance. Some Reddit groups handle this with “bot” posts that automatically reply with guidance whenever suicide is mentioned. It helps other people find the resources.

I know people need to be able to discuss their suicidal thoughts seriously and without censoring themselves. Otherwise it might be even more isolating. Like you, I would try to help but then… what if I misjudge? Thanks for raising this issue, even if I am late to the conversation.