Holidays suck!!!!

[Nyrican269]

Lately, I have been feeling empty. I guess it's because of the upcoming holidays and dreading it. I always hated the holidays, but more than ever lately since the loss of my dad last year. I feel like no one understands how I feel and make me feel like I should just get over it. Ugh.....I'm just feeling broken, but because I have young children I have to fake the funk and fake happiness. Ughhhh.

[FriendlyDude]

Hmm. Well, I don’t think you should ‘just get over it’ because that’s not how it works. But hey, wouldn’t your dad want you to be happy? I didn’t know him so I could be wrong on that, I’m just assuming he was a great guy You have young children, how do you feel about them? Your profile says you’re a mom, and I’m guessing you love your children very much when you look at your children and feel that love, that’s something I think your dad felt for you. You’d be honoring his memory by living your best and trying being happy He isn’t gone. He wants you to be happy so please try. Do it for him

Don’t ‘get over’ your dad, develop a greater love and respect for him and let that inspire you to be happy what once was pain can become peace and strength

What about the holidays do you have conflict with?

[Nyrican269 in reply to FriendlyDude]

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I really appreciate it and agree that my dad was a great man. I try to focus on the positive, love, and happiness of my children.

I really do not know why I am conflicted with the holidays, it has always been a downer for me.

Thank you again!!!

[FriendlyDude in reply to Nyrican269]

You’re welcome For the holidays, maybe try to counter the down feeling by replacing it with love and joy that comes with your children

[Sprinkle1]

I am sorry for your distress, I think I know how you feel. Christmas's were not the best for me, my Mum was great, my father not so, then bad Christmas's with first husband!!! Some bad ones with my 2nd one, and lousy with 3rd one!!! So I am single, have been for nearly 30 years. I became involved with a spiritual group, that does not celebrate Xmas the way we do. I get along very well by myself, I enjoy the lights, some of the music, I make myself a spoiler dinner with a lobster tail and fixings, and a glass of wine. You are still in mourning, go ahead and mourn it is one way to heal, there are books on mourning, visit your local library, there are also support groups, look on line.

Do your best for your children, they are a gift to love as your farther gave to you.

They will be grown and gone one day, you do not want to look back with regret.

I think Ann Koubler Ross, if I got her name right, figured out the stages of grief and wrote a wonderful book, that has helped millions, it helped me.

Life is difficult for most of us, I love a book that I read 30 years ago by Dr. Scott Peck, "The Road Less Traveled", first line first page he states "Life is difficult", *** further down the page he refers to Buddha who said "Life is suffering, until we transcend it, then the suffering stops". I went to work on transcending, I had quite a lot of therapy and cleaned my brain of useless junk. It took me over ten years to transcend, now I live a life in peace, I get up happy and go to bed happy.

Do not beat yourself up, try to go with the flow, live one day at a time, don't look back except for good memory's, don't look to far ahead, don't let expectations bring you down, try to get rid of them, I did. Don't worry, I learnt to give that up.

Write to us here, you are Not alone, feelings are just that - feelings. we offer understanding, support, love and send big hugs......

Love yourself as you love your children, be your own best friend, respect who you are and know that this will pass, Jesus said "and this too shall pass"....it will.

*** Amazon has the book used/new, a good learning read. Dr.Claire Week's has some good reading. If you like to read, I love books by Leo Buscaglia, very uplifting and funny too.

As far as I am concerned my Mother is not dead, I have photos of her in my home, I talk to her and ask her opinion, we used to like to cook together so I chat with her when I make my meals. Only the body dies, the spirit is forever, try it with your Dad. Last Sunday I lit candles and put her photo on the table, she passed 11 years ago, I know she is some where safe, warm, and free of pain. My brother Mark does the same thing.

There are ways to heal, be kind to yourself, sending more love & Big Virtual Hugs

[Nyrican269 in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you so much. 😊. I really appreciate your words of encouragement. Thank you again!