DBT One-Mindfully Skill

[Elle_Luv]

Hello all! Thank you so much for this community! All of you have been really helpful and supportive and it’s been great to meet others who struggle with mental health!

Disclaimer! I am not a therapist. These are skills I learned in a group therapy for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. These skills helped me so much with my mental health, and they really improved others’ in the group as well. I’m sharing these with you because it allows me to remind myself of these skills, and I’m hoping these little posts will help you too.

The One-Mindfully skill is still part of the mindfulness module. Tomorrow, will be my last post on Mindfulness and than I’ll start sharing skills for Interpersonal effectiveness (aka how to deal with other people). Mindfulness is essentially about being in the present moment. This takes awareness and when someone applies awareness to mental health they are able to recognize patterns, and if they want to they can change those patterns.

I talked yesterday about how skills being like a changed mindset. The one-mindfully mindset is very similar to the participate skill. This how skill enhances our awareness of the present moment, the moment we’re living and decreases overwhelmingness of tasks or worries that distract us from the present moment.

With the one-mindfulness mindset I’m able to focus on what I’m doing. Sometimes college can get overwhelming with 100 anatomical terms and locations to learn by Sunday and three drawings due on Tuesday, it is easy for me to get overwhelmed. Sometimes I’ll sot and be stunned by the amount of work that needs to be done, and make myself feel worse because I’m wasting time being overwhelmed. However, when I apply the one-mindfulness skill, and just focus on what I’m doing in that moment, forgetting about the ten other things that need to be done, I work efficiently.

Some things to keep in mind when practicing one-mindfulness (from the book).

1. Be here now. Focus on the moment you’re in. Avoid thinking about things that went wrong yesterday, or tasks you have to do tomorrow. Stay in the moment. It helps me to observe the things around me. Yesterday I was going on a walk and I started to get anxious as I approached a spot with unpleasant memories. I started focusing on the milkweed plant and my dog, and it eased my anxiety and I stopped thinking of unpleasant memories.

2. Do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is a prized skill in the busy lives of work and school and everything else. However, science shows that multi-tasking is less efficient. Focus on doing what you’re doing. When I did schoolwork I tried listening to my anatomy lectures while drawing. But, I would draw crappily and not learn very much from the anatomy lectures. So I spent more time going over the anatomy lectures two or three times and drawing slowly.

3. When your mind starts to drift, bring yourself back. Definitely easier said than done. I was journaling last night and my mind would start to day dream, and I’d get involved in invisible conversations. Ironically, I was journaling on decreasing my daydreams. I would notice I was daydreaming (as it’s an automatic behavior for me) and I would bring myself back to writing. I had to do this a couple times in the 45 minute writing session.

Practice ideas of one-mindfulness from the book!

1. Be one-mindful when you’re washing the dishes. Is this boring? Abso-fucking-lutely. But, it is encouraged to start on small tasks to make it more automatic and than tackle on larger tasks. Focus on the soap, use observe and describe skills to keep your mind in the moment. Describe the smell of the soap, or notice the feeling of the water.

2. Be one-mindful when taking a shower or bath. In the shower, my mind goes crazy. When I was living with my ex, I went to take a shower, and when I came back, he was immediately like “what is wrong?”. My entire body language had changed in fifteen minutes. While I was in the shower I was panicking about my feelings for him. Running away with memories of being hurt in the past and embracing feelings of panic. However, if my mind starts to drift now, I focus on the music, and the smell of the soap, shampoo and the warmth of the water. Being mindful of my shaving.

3. Be one-mindful with meditation or prayer. Focus on the goal. If it’s meditation, focus on being still and affirmations or mantras. I focus on my breath when I’m meditating, and sometimes observing my body sensations keeps my mind from drifting. In prayer, just focus on the words. What you want to say. Focus on the sound of your voice.

My one-mindful practice today was reading. I tried to visualize the scenario as if I was directing a movie and got lost in book, and worried less about how close i was to finishing it.

Feel free to share a one-mindfulness mindset you’ve noticed! I’d love to hear it! Or if you’d be more comfortable, feel free to DM me a one mindfulness moment.

[Hidden]

Hello! Mine could be while lying in bed just now. Instead of my mind wandering, it is focused on writing this reply.

[Elle_Luv in reply to Hidden]

Ah that’s perfect! Thanks for the comment! How have you been?

[Hidden in reply to Elle_Luv]

Could be better. I was up all night earlier this week with my legs and it's really messed up my sleeping schedule this week. One sleepless night always messes me up for a couple days, but this has been several days now. I've been asleep for the majority of the week. When I wake up I'm tired (too much sleep makes us tired,) I can't stand being tired because of trauma I endured about 5 years ago in connection with my Restless Legs Syndrome, so I fall asleep again and the cycle repeats. It's awful. I haven't been with my husband this week and I feel guilty for that. That's it in a nutshell. The emotions surrounding my trauma are replaying in my head and it's awful to deal with. I have not been diagnosed with PTSD, but my mom has and has told me that I exhibit signs. I wouldn't be surprised. Not being able to lie down and sleep for the better part of 7 months was beyond awful and I barely came out of it alive (by choice to end my torture).

My earlier comment was true for a small amount of time. It was shortly after I had woken up from the umpteenth nap and I wasn't yet down to the level of tiredness I am all to familar with (and the level that triggers everything). I just can't handle things when I get down to the zombie-like level I was during those 7 months.

[Elle_Luv in reply to Hidden]

Wow, I’m so sorry. That sounds awful. It’s not the same scenario, but I understand sleepless nights. They are so frustrating, especially for extended periods of time. It sounds especially frustrating for you with connection to trauma. I hope you get some good sleep soon!