Little Friend’s Mistakes [-]

[Starpeak]

My heart for you is broken. I may have taken us for granted, and I always fear that you will hate me for it.

And you did. Personally, you sent me pain through your words, vented with cursing and burned through your vocabulary, looking for different ways to hurt me.

My acts may have hurt you in the past, but I have always made up for it. I overreacted and I don’t think. I am sorry. I don’t want to leave you alone in your little home. To me, you are no toy like you thought I see you, to me. you are my friend.

But I am hurt. How will I make up for my foolish acts? You won’t let me. I understand. I deserve every log you throw in my flame. I won’t hurt you anymore.

Now you are telling all the others of how much I mean nothing. We were friends. The best of all. But now we are both enemies, and both of us have hurt each other. I am different now though.

I focused on improving myself. I focused on getting better. You... You’re different.

Where was the person I loved?

I wish I would help you...

But it hurts to see your face.

I can feel my heart bleeding from the inside.

I wish you wouldn’t hate me anymore, my little friend’s mistakes are bitter and sweet. I don’t want to keep you in pain because of me. I don’t want to exist in your life. The act has been done though.

But it will never be too late. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Take your anger on me, I don’t care. I will do anything that will make you feel better.

My little friend.

[roni54]

I totally understand only for me it is my daughter who was my best friend too. We have hurt each other so much. No one understands my pain so I choose to hide it but at the same time I can't let myself enjoy anything in life. I am so broken at times I don't think I can go on. I love her and I know she hates me and I have such a deep dark void that time only makes worse.

[Starpeak in reply to roni54]

Oh no, I am very sorry to hear that!

Though, just to let you know, my step father is still a little young and I thought I've always hated him for years. He hurts me a lot but not physically, mostly verbally, when he gets really mad or in a bad mood. But somehow he was able to make up for it, it may have taken a really long time, but I warmed up to him and finally considered him someone reliable or someone I genuinely love.

It may hurt you so much to think that your daughter currently hates you, though now, don't think of that. Think of ways to make your daughter love you more than she currently does.. Like my stepfather, he used to be shy and really couldn't express love at all. But now he does.

another one is that my mother and I are very close, but sometimes I get really mad at her for very dumb reasons so I usually don't know how much I hurt her. Your daughter may feel the same way, maybe she's just hiding how much she cares because she doesn't know how to show it to you.

Think of it like a song that is stuck in her head, a song that she can't sing because she's afraid you wouldn't like her voice. But show her that no matter what, you love her. That you're proud of her accomplishments. That you want to hear her voice.

I hope you're okay today, I'm sorry if I didn't help you much, but I really hope I did.

Stay strong!

-- Starpeak

[roni54 in reply to Starpeak]

Thank you. You did help. And Pam4him is right. Your words are very colorful. I don't even have any contact now. she has also turned my grandchildren against me so i have lost them as well. Yesterday was my birthday and all i wanted was a test or something to know I was thought of. I take medication but sometimes all I can do is cry. But I always have to put on a happy face with my husband. That is her stepfather as well and their relationship is a big part of everything. I get stuck in the middle and expected to choose when I can't and should not have to.I am a Christian and I do believe God has a reason for everything but to be honest, I feel mad at him and deserted by him too.

Anyway, You stay strong as well and try to enjoy the holiday season.

[pam4him]

First, I'm sorry this happened to your friendship. I've been there and it hurts. Some people are meant to be in our lives many years, while others are short term. We have to grieve the lost relationship. Second, are you or have you considered being a writer? You have some great writing skill. Prayers for healing, peace and moving forward.

[Starpeak in reply to pam4him]

Hiya Pam4him, I'm sorry you had to experience such a thing I understand what you mean, but sometimes, even the shortest times, people were brought into your life for a reason. They teach you many things even if it hurts to think about and even if they seem to break you a little. I've learned that there is always room for change and impact. Always impact others in your own good way, even if it's only for so little, and even if you've mostly been hurt or hurtful, there is always something you and others learn from it and it changes them depending on how they perceive it.

Thank you so much for the compliments! I really appreciate it, I haven't really considered being a writer. But I believe it's a nice suggestion! I'll consider it, thank you again.

and I pray for you, in hopes that maybe any empty gap that you feel will convert into just a beautiful scar. Always there, but no longer hurts, and no longer deep. Just a beautiful mark of how strong you are to survive it.