I just wanted to get this out

[401LocalsOnly]

I just wanted to tell someone

I work 7 days a week 3rd shift I basically wake up around midnight. I have always been the worst anxiety wise right when I wake up. Lately it’s been on a whole other level. I woke up at 9 last night and I’m not kidding you I could feel it coming at me. Like as my eyes opened and my brain started it felt like I was staring at a wave coming right at me. No avoiding it. I’m not really someone who shares a lot. This was different though. I turned on my light, went and took my meds (gabapentin, Zoloft, hydroxizine(sp?), and clonodine. I then say down and prepared for the fact that this was happening (as usual). I curled up on my bed and googled breathing exercises. I was so anxious I couldn’t focus enough to even click a link. I just put the phone down and tried to get my breathing back. (Excuse this next part it’s kind of gross).

When I finally did catch my breath my temperature started going RIDICULOUSLY crazy. One minute - under 3 blankets shivering, the next SECOND. I am sweating oddly like out of my stomach and back) and then the next minute BOTH. Shivering and sweating at the same time. I braved the storm for 3 hours and I was legitimately SO happy to get ready for work because I knew it was at least a tiny bit distracting so I would take any relief I could get. But it didn’t stop. My temperature was crazy in the shower- back and forth hot and cold. I dragged myself into work. Driving almost ALWAYS will give me relief as heading to work in the dense fog in the night with the deer around, etc., etc.. basically it makes me focus. It wouldn’t stop. At this point we are 4 hours into this and I’m starting to freak out like..”am I stuck like this?” (Stupid I know). I needed any relief. Finally around 530 this morning I could feel it leaving. 4 more hours of work then I’m back home. More exhausted than ever. But terrified to fall asleep.

I am so sorry. This is a rant, it’s pointless. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I am scared. I am a grown man with a good life, I’m lucky to have a job where I work 100% by myself. I am 35 years old. And I am scared to go to bed.

[Luna-blade]

Sorry for your pain but it seems like a severe panic attack to me coupled with sweats and shivering. You did not provide many details about wether you have pure OCD or not but since it is related to your brain, it seems like some images are frightening you. A panic attack is the reason of all the symptoms you have experienced but for more safety it is better to consult your psychiatrist because a combination of many medicines together could either benefit you or worsen your symptoms. My experience with Zoloft was good since I have pure Ocd but in the last years it prevented me from sleeping and my body grew used to it so I was put on Paxil. Wish you speedy recovery

[Cathy63]

There are some good breathing exercises on YouTube; there's also good meditations to follow. I also like the Insight Timer app on my phone. That's how I get help with my anxiety. I don't do it every day like I should. CBD helps my anxiety when it gets bad, but I don't know if it would be safe with the medications you're taking. Your doctor can advise you on that. Good luck. It's so hard dealing with anxiety. Mine has gotten worse this year because of all the Covid worries.

[hlacovara]

Don't feel bad in any way about sharing. That's what this place is for. I give you credit for going to work as that in itself is hard to do with anxiety!!! Do you think the shift you work may be contributing to anxiety? Are you afraid to sleep bc you fear this may happen again? How are you feeling now ? I hope better ☺️