Am I all alone??

[Joyceashli0]

Im a mother thatis in a mentally and sometimes physically abusive relationship that also fights depression anxiety drug addiction and past self harm. One issue feeds the other and so on. If im not made to feel like im going insane im made to feel like a failure as a mother. I'm so lost anymore. I dont know what to do anymore.

[Hidden]

Get out , contact woman's aid, you and you're children deserve better

[Joyceashli0 in reply to Hidden]

I wish I could I really do. He has proof from months ago almost a year that i had a drug issue and he is always threatening to use it against me. He uses her against me also because he knows how much it would hurt me i he would do it. i am just now able to get my license back after 5 long years and my dumbass had decided to move to BFE with him. So i fell into his trap is how i feel. Im just stuck. Yes i keep slipping up on subs which in all honesty its to just keep from being sick and i stay away from everything else. Like i could go to the doctor and get them prescribed but he wont let me. instead he calls me a worthless junkie whore, a horrible mom, says he hopes i would just OD and die. Girl if i start crying my little 3 year old will come up and rub my faace and say its okay mommy. You sad? I make u happy and smiles real big. Then i feel even worse bc my babies deserve to see the happy fun mommy they use to have. not who i am now. when i know he is on his way home i feel myself start o shut down.

[Joyceashli0 in reply to Joyceashli0]

sorry to write a book i just dont get to talk to anyone about these issues

[Hidden in reply to Joyceashli0]

No please I'm glad you have reached out that is a massive huge brave positive step. Yes I was in same kind of situation as youreself , a drug fuled relationship for 13 years guy was phycky and mentally abusive same thing he would use my habbit and kid to " keep me in my place" . I only managed to get out 5years ago . My heart reaches out to you and you're kids . You're not alone you've reached out on this site for support , also I'm here for you to I know what you're going through. Woman's aid deal and help and support mother's with drug habbits to it's not a taboo subject for them , you are a good mum because you realise you're problem and situation and want to better it for you and you're kids. Please you all don't deserve this no one dose it's sickening how people try to manipulate and controll others esp some one who's meant to love and care for you. Please know you are not alone👍

[Joyceashli0 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for commenting. it helps to know that there are women who have been where i am but do get away. I saw my mom live like this for years and always swore i wouldnt be that type of woman. but you really dont see it until its to late.

[Hidden in reply to Joyceashli0]

It's never too late you're strong and brave you can do this for you and your children to live a better life.

[Efthimiades in reply to Hidden]

Yup...not alone!! Been there, done that. We feel unworthy of healthy relationships. Our children need better.... we must show them how women SHOULD b treated. You r so not alone, never give up!! Happy Thanksgiving 😊

[Joyceashli0 in reply to Efthimiades]

thank you for your support. i am sure to remind my kids more than often that this isnt how it is suppose to be.

[Noquarter in reply to Joyceashli0]

Sent you a message. You deserve better.