Is it so bad to avoid replying to your friend's messages because you want to prepare yourself for an upcoming two-week hospital posting at a foreign district where you are absolutely sure you have to meet with complete strangers and where you have to act all happy and cheerful because you don't want to bring down your university's name in front of other people and you don't want to suffer from a breakdown in front of your teammates or even in front strangers at the hospital. (I am a medical student)
I made a mistake that involves my previous housemates where I did not terminate the wifi contract coz I didn't know we had to something like that. So we had to pay more than we should have. They were all angry at me. I felt very bad. I knew it was my fault because they already told me to terminate the contract but I overlooked it, I was at home during this quarantine thing and whatever everything else sounds like an excuse on my part. So I apologized and said I'll pay all of it by myself. I told them it was fine and I didn't want to go on an argument with them. So the end.
No, it wasn't. They kept asking me again about it. How much do we have to pay bla bla bla. When I already shared the screenshots of the bills on Whatsapp. I already explained before that, so I didn't bother anymore. I already paid for the wifi and apologized hoping that would be the end of it. This was the weekend before the posting so I did what I had to do. I was self-blaming and self-loathing. I cried when I found out my mistake, and I have a tendency of throwing my phone across the room to the floor and the wall and basically anything else on my study table. Thankfully even after more than eight times being thrown around like a ragdoll, my phone is still okay just some scratches. I couldn't study , I couldn't do anything right. Just crying and crying. They were still asking so again I apologized said it was okay for me to bare the consequences of my stupidity and left the Whatsapp group. The end
Again one of my housemates privately messaged me saying it was not okay to leave just like that and bla bla bla. I didn't read it fully because I knew I was unstable and promised myself I'll reply to her after the posting. I'll explain I was feeling really low and sad and I needed to focus on the posting. But when the time came and I read the messages, I was still hurt. She apologized but her wordings felt not sincere, so I just left it like that. But I still feel guilty. Should I reply to her or not?
Sorry if it was long.