What is wrong with me??

[Cumbkkid]

Hi im new and wanted to let this out,sorry if it all sounds silly.The past week I have been feeling like I want to quit my job,lock myself in a room and disappear. I hardly go out all i do is work,I started a new job this year and I'm not happy.Just looking at my laptop gives me anxiey,half the time i just want to quit but I know that is unrealistic. The past weekend my 2 friends had a combined birthday party,in short I got drunk started a fight and Now they hate me. We all work together but I have not seen then since last weekend mostly cause I have been avoiding them. I feel embarrassed and ashamed and there were others there that just met me and have the wrong idea about me and even though i do not know them it bothers me a lot.It has been consuming my thoughts, because I'm not that person. There are always little things that trigger these feelings where I just want to die or go in a comma so i dn have to deal with the emotions.

While I'm rambling I might as well add that I feel lonely and alone all the time ☹️

I just want to be okay!

[dreamergirl99]

Hey, don’t feel lonely, we are all here for the same reason and that is to find someone who is experiencing the same issue. So what do you think is the reason that you feel like this ?

[Cumbkkid in reply to dreamergirl99]

I have always felt that way. When I'm out in public I'm always the one making jokes ,I am always laughing, someone even asked me if I ever get sad,I just laughed.

When i get home I get back to being sad an feeling alone ,which i do not get cause i stay home with my loving family,Maybe it is because I'm not distracted with everything around me, its just me and my thoughts.

[dreamergirl99 in reply to Cumbkkid]

Yeah, like when you are with friends you tend to make jokes and start a new cknversation and you always give a motivation to people but never gives a motivation to you...here is one thing I can say, you have a very good heart. You don’t want anyone to be hurt, you would like everyone to be happy because u know how it is when u r unhappy...in your family did u have mom or dad sad when u were a child ?

[Cumbkkid in reply to dreamergirl99]

They have always been happy around us,even now that we grown.

By the way I just wanted to say thank you for responding to me!

[dreamergirl99 in reply to Cumbkkid]

You are welcome. I came here because telling how I feel to someone helps me a lot. So I am ready to hear someone’s problems always. Feel free to tell how you feel and I am ready to listen.

[Cumbkkid in reply to dreamergirl99]

I am also here to listen anytime you need it.😊

[Jeff1943]

Why quit your job? All work is noble, every job is what you can bring to it. Work and you serve yourself and your community. There is nothing to be gained or learnt in a locked and darkened room. And jobs are not easily found at the moment, many there are that would give their right arm.

Seek out that person whom you offended, admit your fault and make your peace with him or her. But your words must come from your heart if they are to be believed. Do this and word of it will spread to those others in whose eyes you do not want to be condemned.

When you spend your time with others use the time to bring them pleasure not only to yourself. Do this and you will never feel alone and lonely again. How could it be otherwise?

Life lies ahead. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Old clichès maybe but based on wisdom and proven by time.

[Cumbkkid in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you for the words of wisdom,even though I'm scared I know everything you said is true ,your right I also need to take accountability for my actions. This to shall pass!