Honesty @ 10.30pm

[Rubi94]

I've struggled with anxiety and depression for many years but only got officially diagnosed this year in January. To be honest the diagnosis came as no surprise and it really didn't affect my life all too much. I struggle with self esteem, feelings of rejection, not being good enough, loneliness and social exhaustion. I've gone to counselling before and have found it helpful on most occasions however, that one time you have a terrible professional and end up leaving feeling worse than when you came in can be a bit jarring and feeling pretty shit about trying it again next time. Most of the time now I use lifeline when I need to talk. I have a really great mum and boyfriend but I don't really tell them everything about how I feel because I don't want them to freak out and start panicking about my every little expression or negative thought. I wouldn't say I have ever been suicidal but I guess there were times when things were pretty rough that I thought maybe a year in a coma would do me some good, a chance to be at peace and not have to deal with the world and my place in it for a while. Recognizing that these thoughts weren't normal I sought help, and I changed the biggest stressor in my life - my job. I am doing better, I absolutely don't feel the need for a coma anymore but there are days where it's a struggle and I came here to find an alternative form of support and information.

[Hidden]

Hi🙋‍♀️ and welcome! This is a great place to come for support. I have clinical depression (diagnosed 20+ years ago) and struggle with some of the same things that you mention.

[glassbulb]

It can be hard to talk to the people who matter most to you sometimes, but talking about it can help.

No one will mind if you use these forums to vent when you're having a hard time, so you've done a good thing already.

[evilspicy]

I have had the exact thought of the coma. I also struggle with many of the same things you mentioned here. I also sought extensive help and am leaps ahead of where I was emotionally, but it's still a daily challenge. I hope you find the support you need here. I'm always around if you need to talk. Wishing you well.