Endless depression

[Kobain]

I cant even remember when my depression started. I'm 25 now and I know ive been like this over half my life. I've battled cancer and beat it so you would think I'd be happy, but often times I wish it would have taken me. I have a 1 year old daughter whose all that keeps me going. Me and my baby momma split some time ago because of me. I seem to ruin every relationship I get in rather it be girlfriends or friends or even family. I feel so alone but yet I push everyone away. Everything is just black and grey for me. I'm just empty and hopeless and have no life in me. I've started antidepressants and havent felt any different. I feel better when I'm actually around people and feel like I have some value. But I literally have no one. I checked into a facility for depression and stayed there for 2 weeks, and it was probably the happiest I'd been in so long. I was around people who had problems like me and I just felt so comfortable, but now I'm home again and the pain is still here. I feel like it will never end. What do I do??

[Agora1]

Hi Kobain, Welcome to the support forum.

I suffered from severe anxiety and agoraphobia. (past tense) I too, went into

the hospital so that I could work on myself. I didn't want to go home. You're right

in that there were people like ourselves that understood. There were no outside

distractions. And best of all, there was structure in each day.

That was over 7 years ago and I've been able to go forward. It feels amazing my friend.

I'm glad that you have come to this site. You will meet others going through the same journey. As we share our stories, we learn from each other and don't feel so alone in this world. I'm glad you are here Kobain. xx

[Kobain in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, and I hope so. I normally dont reach out or talk to people but it's just really bad. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.