Undiagnosed Anxiety?

[astarbuck]

All my life I have been more quiet/shy than the normal individual. I don't like to meet new people it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Interviews for jobs are nerve wrecking I never know what to say and sometimes I can't get the right words out articulately, if I'm asked a question I don't know the answer to I sometimes feel my face gets warm and flush like I'm embarrassed even if it's not an embarrassing topic. At work and in my personal life I am sort of a perfectionist, if I do something it has to be perfect or I am not satisfied. I am in management and while I don't make conversation with coworkers frequently I can effectively delegate and speak with my team about work, but I feel like I can do this easily because I have an objective (a reason to speak). When my boyfriend wants to take me to hang out with a group of his friends (I don't have any close ones) or family I always feel awkward and dread going. It's not that I don't like them, I just dread the social interaction. I do find if I have had a few drinks or smoked I loosen up some and feel a bit more comfortable and talk more. Obviously this isn't a good coping mechanism. Do I have an undiagnosed social disorder? Or am I just "shy" and introverted.

[Iammesues]

Maybe you’re intelligent and insightful and see through these people who are fake and a waste of your time

[bookworm1996]

Hi, I don't really have an answer to your question but just wanted to say everything you wrote sounds EXACTLY like me. I never know what to say in social situations (unless it is work related or I am really close to the person) & I replay conversations over and over in my head after each interaction. I have also been questioning whether I have social anxiety or something like that.

[Hidden in reply to bookworm1996]

It is so hard to avoid rumination... but worrying about past conversations really gets us nowhere except more worried, right?

[Hidden]

Hi I relate to a lot of your experiences but you are way ahead of me in having a job and being able to do interviews. I have a lot of respect for that as I am trying to overcome anxiety to where I feel capable of having a job like "normal" people.

Maybe you are introverted like me. You sound very goal-oriented too, which in my experience can make "small-talk" conversations harder because the goal of small talk is just to pass the time in a friendly way(?), which is a very vague sort of goal! (I hate doing small talk, it is so hard!)

In passing, I think it is ok to be the quiet person in the room. What do you think? I mean, there have to be listeners as well as talkers, right? Do you consider yourself a good listener? That is a talent too.

Probably only you and your therapist can determine whether you have social anxiety... I too find it's hard to tell the difference between it and shyness... but I think that shyness can lead to social anxiety if worry about it goes unchecked. If you keep working at it, you will probably see improvement.