Severe depression and anxiety set in again after having a decent day

[AliceAnne]

I had a semi productive day and the depression and anxiety seemed to vanish. Now I'm starting to get fear back. It makes me feel hopeless.

[Hidden]

It's a very good sign though if your having periods without feeling the dreaded sensations/symptoms....I know it's so upsetting when you've felt ok then suddenly it's back but it's also showing you that peace from anxiety/depression is indeed possible. Try your very best to stay as positive as you can and focus on how good those hours were without symptoms....you will have more good days to come....just let time pass and be patient xx

[AliceAnne in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much, suzie, I really appreciate your insights! It helps me. xo

[MDDGAD in reply to Hidden]

thanks for your response to AliceAnne. The words rang true with me as for the last few days i've been up and down with good distractions and then the dread sets it.

[MDDGAD]

HI AliceAnne, yes keep the words Suzie482 said in mind. I have my days up and down and i do try to focus on that there is hope because i did have my up days. (they go by faster don't they?)

[AliceAnne in reply to MDDGAD]

Thank you for responding, MDDGAD.

[Purrsona]

I agree with the commenters above--fear and depression are temporary states and it's really good you came out of them. I wonder if it might help to keep track of patterns of when you feel better and worse?

[Hidden in reply to Purrsona]

That's a really good point, Purrsona. There might or might not be a pattern, but if there is, maybe AliceAnne can better prepare for them. I can get to feeling pretty low (even suicidal) during a certain time each month. Since I know this, I am better able to deal with those extreme lows. Sure they're still uncomfortable to go through, but it does ease things a bit. I can say to myself "remember, Jessica, it is because of ____ that your emotions are all over the place. This will pass".

[Hidden]

Alice Anne, I understand, since I had a horrible anxiety attack 2 days ago. I slept for 2 days. Yesterday I felt better, but I know this will happen again, since I am well overdue to die. I have had chronic depression my whole life, and at the end of my life I have no spouse, an estranged son that I will never see again, and no more friends, and low income financially. Need I say more!

[AliceAnne in reply to Hidden]

I am so sorry for your circumstances, I hope you find peace! xo

[Junella in reply to Hidden]

I hope you have friends or someone to share with (both ways). Having a spiritual life and caring for your health, especially keeping active. Blessings and prayers for you. BTW swimming has been a great outlet for me (until the virus closed pools),

[Junella]

Yes, that happens. It seems when everything goes well, something goes wrong or triggers anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if I use my anxiety as a sort of protection unconsciously. There is the fear if I let feelings go too well, I will fall down again. I have heard of positive therapy and maybe should search that out. This expecting an up and down in our mental health could also be like a superstition. Just a thought as I analyze my own self.

[AliceAnne in reply to Junella]

Thank you for your insights!

[Pinkeye901]

The goal isn't to get rid of it. When you accept this it becomes much easier. Anxiety will always be a part of you. The more you try to get rid of anxiety the worst it gets. Finding ways to ease anxiety and managing it is the main thing. You fear it coming back so much that it actually causes you to be anxious. My advice is to acknowledge you have anxiety, feel the horrible sensations, then ride with the symptoms until it passes. The more you avoid and fear something the stronger it gets. For ex. Fear of cancer, avoiding public places, fear of illness, and avoiding going out. What you do have to Avoid is caffeine, toxic ppl, social media, bad news, and violence. These things set off anxiety. If it's very bad you're going to have to go on meds and talk to a doctor. You're not weak and meds can bring you out the darkness. I'm on meds without it I would of left. Some meds are horrible and some work. Don't listen too much about ppl saying "don't start on meds at all" it could save you. Remember obviously there's always a downside ok. Best of luck and hope all goes well. Take care.

[AliceAnne in reply to Pinkeye901]

Thank you Pinkyeye, I'm on meds, I've been on many different ones and they don't seem to work. My doctor says I'm medication resistant. I may need ECT. That helped me in the past. Thank you for your kind words!

[Pinkeye901 in reply to AliceAnne]

Np and don't worry about burdening the people here on this site because we're all in this together. Just ask and we'll help as best as we can. Take care of yourself ok.

[Survivor4Ever]

I can all to well relate to that feeling. Though it bites the darkness setting in again. I found that distracting myself helps me. But sitting around doing makes it worse for me personally. And be kind and compassionate towards myself helps. Also bring proud that I made it another day. That having to live with and you should be proud of yourself that yet you still accomplished a productive day semi or not. Looking at it that way. May help bounce you back. And remember you are not your thoughts. This depression this anxiety is not you. It’s something you deal with but you are not one in the same. Separate yourself from it. Remind yourself “I am not my thoughts I am not feelings” because thoughts change consistently and sone lie to us. So we must remember that when we feel hopeless

[AliceAnne in reply to Survivor4Ever]

Thank you for your insights. It helped me.

[Survivor4Ever]

I just shared this with someone else but this is for you too. I love using affirmations I write them down on index cards . Take them with me . Maybe a good one for you would be .. “ I deserve to feel good” “ or “ I’ll never give up hope”

[AliceAnne in reply to Survivor4Ever]

Those positive affirmations are great! Thank you!