A post about wanting to feel sincere but feeling Im not... Maybe some waffle here too lol 😂

I really crave being entirely open and sincere with others. I find it so realeasing to just say how I feel however Im feeling whether I am happy, sad, anxious or feeling courageous or ANYTHING. But...its hard to find that place to be like that. Its hard to feel allowed I because of how society is. Ive found in the past that Ive been so bold about saying whats going on in my mind that its made other's feel uncomfortable at times. And all Im doing is saying how I feel (even with the view that I understand if I need to change. Ive even asked opinions if I should change). I know we are all a bit weird at heart but I feel like when I show that weirdness its not accepted. Its like others see it as a threat to conformity and that makes them feel unsafe. Im really not judgemental of anyone and what gos on inside them and I love to make people feel they have a free space to not be judged, but I almost always dont feel safe to have that back. I wish I didnt feel like that and I want it to change though. Ive been judged massively for being open but couldnt ever dream of judging anyone else for who they are, how they feel and how they think. Heck, Ive even been told that Im TOO genuine and maybe I need to 'reign it in'. This leaves me holding back. It in fact leaves me feeling really insincere as a person as Im feeling like I have to hide who I am for the sake of order. I feel like I have to hold back. It all makes me question who I am. But when I finf acceptance that really makes me happy 😊😊

I once told a friend that I worried about myself and explained in detail some horrible thoughts that used to come to my mind involuntarily. I hated them and they made me shake so badly that I had nurses come to see me every day to calm me. He judged me and hurt me. He couldnt handle my company any more and left when I most needed someone. He made it all worse. I nearly killed myself. That same guy who judged me for intrusive horrible thoughts was sleeping with prostitutes behind his wife's back. I confrontes him and said if he didnt tell her then I would. He gave me a hug and thanked me for being honest with him. He told her and they are still married. I just dont see why we have any place to judge one another for who we are when I think we're all pretty messed up lol 😂. Im waffling. But I guess Im saying that theres alot going on in people's heads and although we're all different we're all damaged so lets not judge. We are all equals. No one is better than anyone else.

[ma65]

Hi Cuddly bear it sounds like your got alot going on in your head. I carnt help thinking there is more you want to talk about but your not sure who you can trust.

[Myre]

I get you, entirely. I can't say more being as I have the same problem in genuinely expressing myself to others. This means a lot though, knowing there is someone out there I can relate to. This platform exists not only to share our problems but to ease one another through them. Best wishes cuddly- bear, know that you have got someone who shares the same concerns with you.

[Rudolph26]

There is nothing wrong with being too genuine; however, I have come to realize that sometimes certain people can't handle certain details of ones life. Either because they went through something similar and it stresses them out to think about it, or they have never been through the same things so they don't really know what to say. I find that most people don't have any ill intent when they can't handle my situations, but I know few who can handle how my mind works as well as things that have transpired in my life. This being said, this doesn't mean you can't be genuine with people, and that you should pull in the "reigns" with everyone. It just means you should take friendships one day at a time and if someone is willing to know you, let them in a little bit at a time.

You're right in saying that we should all try to be more understanding because none of us our perfect. It's actually something I strive towards. I think there is a lot of healing that would transpire if more people took this into account.

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck on your journey I know you will get there.