For the longest time I’ve always loved helping people and showing my true colors through emotion, but with that type of mentality there are people who can abuse that...All my life I’ve been bullied, pushed around, manipulated, gaslit, and emotionally abused. Living with depression, anxiety, and who knows what else. As of late, I’ve been doing my best to recover from the trials I’ve gone through, but every few days I wake and up with the mentality of the world being a better place without me. This lasts for a day or two. Everyone who says they care about me really doesn’t, and for some reason I get a bit paranoid or distrusting of the people that DO care. Furthermore, when I vent to someone I am more often than not met with the following responses.
“You’re overthinking.”
“It’s not that serious.”
“Maybe you’re making a mountain out of an ant hill.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
I’m a male, and it doesn’t help with the fact that we live in a society that encourages men to swipe their feelings aside and be ‘manly.’ I never believed in this since I showed my true self with pride and compassion, but now I’m starting to. Furthermore, nobody else really opens up about how they feel. No one seems to be as emotional as me. Why am I the odd one out.
I can’t cry or find any real stress relief. Again, I’ve been dealing with this my entire life, and I can’t stand doing it anymore.
Is what I’m going through real? Are my emotions valid? Am I not allowed to cry anymore? Was I ever? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a grip on my emotions and depression?...
...Why can’t I be normal...😭💔
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84DM
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It's shitty we live in a society where men can't express their emotions and when they do it's considered a weakness. I'm sorry you are surrounded by people who are oblivious to the impact of their actions and responses to your need of someone to understand you hey....but hey hang in there and try to be open minded about the people who care about you. Also I've realised that opening up to a stranger helps than to a person you are familiar with
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been made to feel this way. It’s absolutely unfair, and it’s already hard enough dealing with this emotional turmoil; you really don’t need people around you invalidating you. What you’re feeling is absolutely real and valid. You’re allowed to feel and express yourself as long as you’re safe and not hurting others. It also sounds like you have reasons to feel depressed, so please don’t downplay your struggles. I hope you’re able to find some help and have a doctor or a therapist you can work with.
As the old saying goes, "what is normal?" I think you're just you and unique which is the normal. What you're feeling is valid and I can relate to a whole lot of what you posted. The thing to remember here is that depression/anxiety can severely skew our perspective of things and wear down out defenses therefore keeping grounded is so important. Support from others , your peers that are here (me included) will do their best to comfort/support/ground you as you go through the episodes of negativity that hound you day in and day out. There will be times when you are in a really good place, just remember to come back here and return the favor for others.
As for being a guy, I know exactly what you mean about emotions. I grew up with that very conservative philosophy that men should be pillars with the ability to handle all emotions. It's really just a cover and emotions do manage a way to seep into even into the strongest willed men. Hence the birth of PTSD. I went through that stoic persona that eventually broke down one day and manifested into trembling and fight/flight modes. It took a long time to bring me back to a manageable level. Men are human beings and emotions unbalanced/unchecked will inevitably crash and burn regardless. Don't believe other guys that say otherwise. Just be kind to yourself if you feel that your emotions are out of control. Chances are you just need to let them out. It's best to have support but just let it out when it happens. Bottling it up has consequences. I know I've gone through it many times and seen the same in others. So as far as you being emotional, I tend to think of it as being more empathic of others and hence more aware everyday negativity. It's a lot to take in with out a way to vent it out. It's all about learning and growing from what you've experienced to help settle the state of your mind.
This site helps with some of it as does the support you get here. I hope you find some peace in talks with people here as I have. You are certainly welcome to chat me up anytime you need.
Wow I don’t even know what to say..just thank you so so much
You’ve really hit home on everything in this post, and if you need help I want to be here for you too
thanks so much
You are normal! Everyone struggles at times and I know you say you’re a male and it’s perfectly okay to show your emotions! YOU ARE HUMAN the world is a better place with you in it.
Oh how I can relate to your post! I too was bullied, used, teased, and taken advantage of because I've always been transparent and wear my emotions on my sleeve. What is important to make people realize is to never take your kindness as weakness and never tolerate abuse again. People who are sensitive and care about others, need very strong boundaries or else we will always be trampled on. We don't have to put up walls but we do have to make those boundaries strong and people need to understand abuse will no longer be tolerated. Don't change the kind person you are, make the abusers and users change.
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