I wish I knew

[Nonikinu]

What if I like darkness? What if the reason I am not being able to get out of this pit is because I like giving myself doses of pain? I am scared of myself. I feel like every problem that ever occured to me is because I was a part of it, because I was there such an incident occurred. You know at times you feel as if people come to you only when they need you, I stopped telling people what I feel because what if they feel that I only come to spill my grief? It's a horrible feeling. And the worst part is I just don't know how to navigate myself now.