Unreciprocated friendship—advice needed

[CaityCat]

Do you ever feel like you have a friend who only wants to be your friend, when they need something? Like, you message them, and they never reply? But when I ask if they are avoiding me, they say that they are just “busy”...I’m not trying to be needy but I feel like my friend isn’t reciprocating and it hurts because I am always the one that cares the most. In every relationship. And for once, I just want someone to care about me as much as I care about them. Is it so hard to love me?

I’m so tired of feeling unloved and being in an unreciprocated friendship that I kinda want to give up on all of it. I kind of want to say goodbye and just be done. But, a bigger part of me knows that my life is better with my friend in it. And I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t know how to go from caring so much to caring less. Any advice? How do I stop caring so much, without being bitter about it? I want to just be able to accept that she isn’t willing to reciprocate and be okay with that and move on.

To clarify, this “friend” really is just a friend. No romantic feelings there at all. I just feel so grateful towards her because she saved me from myself—from suicide. She has been there for me in my most difficult and lowest times, but now she is so distant and I feel like I’m the only who cares about our friendship. I don’t know what to do...

[Doglover309]

Lately I've felt the same way about a friend. I love this friend, she is like a sister to me. But, lately all she seems to want to talk about are the problems that's she's going through. I want to listen and be there for her but I have stuff going on in my life too. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to be a burden anymore and that she should just end it. I've had so many late assignments because I dropped everything and went to be with her or stayed up late just talking to her that I'm starting to feel really strained. It's gotten to the point where I've started to distance myself from her. I still talk to her and play games. But, when she starts to go off about her problems I'll change the topic or stop talking altogether. It hurts like crazy because I want to be there, but I just can't anymore. The way I deal with it without being bitter is by remembering the good times and still talking to her about those times or funny stuff. I know it hurts, but sometimes you have to think about your own sanity and I have very little remaining. I've straight told her that she needs professional help, but that I'd still be there for her. I hope things get better for you, and if you need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me.

[sachoo]

hey,

i have experienced the same thing many times

and i always feel i care more about the friendship and care more for the other person than they care about me, which sucks

i always want the friendship to be equal

i am always the one to call or text my friends and check up on them and i'm always giving advice and words of encouragement

yet i don't always receive that back

i hate sounding ungrateful and needy, but i'm super needy and need constant reassurance due to my mental health problems

it's good to go through conversations or texts or other times your friend was there for you to help you remember that she cares about you

if she is acting differently than normal, maybe she is going through personal stuff herself that she isn't able to talk about yet, so be there for her also

if it goes on, it's best to say something to her

it can be so hard to be brutally honest, and whenever i am brutally honest i get super anxious and sick to my stomach but it always benefits me afterwards

you should talk to her and ask her if she's okay, and tell her that you're struggling and you need your friend back, and you feel she is distant and does not address your problems

say of course you care about her problems, but you also need to talk about your own problems and need your friend to help you out

hope this helped and hope you have a great day

and remember you are NOT hard to love, you are loved

if you ever need a friend or want to talk about your problems, i'm here