Sometimes this feeling of worthlessness is overbearing. I feel like I am a failure as a woman and a mother. I try so hard but it seems like no matter what I do is not good enough. It is like I take 3 steps forward just to get pulled 10 back. I honestly try to stay positive, but it gets more and more impossible. If I could blink and make it all go away I would. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to take curl up in a ball under my covers and never come back out. It is getting harder and harder to get out of bed and get moving. The only thing that is keeping me going is the fact that I am a mother. My biggest fear is when she grows up and has no need for me. What will I do? How will I encourage myself to keep going?
My friends don't feel like my friends. Not even sure If I can call them that. Would a real friend make you feel worse? I feel like they are in a competition, I try to talk to them and they tell me its nothing. They explain how what they are gong through is much worse, and that I am just being dramatic. So I keep it al inside. I smile and make like nothing is wrong. But when I am alone I sit and have horrible panic attacks or crying spells. Last night I cried for an hour, and I honestly don't know why. I wake up in the middle of the night and my heart is racing. I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me.
Getting it out on here helps, but I know one day this will not be enough. I need to see someone, but I am terrified of being out on medications. I feel like I have so many issues, and so many excuses why I am scared to try and get help for them. Why did I have to be like this??
Am I not good enough?
How has your depression/ anxiety affected your children?
I’m not good enough. 
Not feeling good ☹️
Not perfect 
