So bi/confused but not anxious!! ... Any other input? I’d really appreciate it so much!!

[PackerGirl]

Hi - I’ll try to make this short. When I was a child I was sexually abused. I chose to remain “a virgin” until I was 23 but I was brutally raped by a boyfriend at that time. I’ve only been with 3 other people in my life since then, I am now 51. I am rarely attracted to men, although I find them attractive, I am always one word away from a panic attack around them. I have been intensely attracted to women but have never been physical beyond kissing. I haven’t dated, at all, in 20+ years. Recently I met someone and I think she is AMAZING! She’s disclosed an interest in me and I feel strongly interested in her and surprisingly, not anxious with her at all!! What I am curious about , however, well ok, anxious about is, do you think I should tell her now I’ve never fully been with a woman or wait to see where things might take us and discuss it then? We’re so close emotionally, we’re both so open and honest with each other and I care for her so much, I do not want to hurt her. What are your thoughts, please?!?

[Wiganladlovesapie]

Hi. I’m Andy.

I am truly sorry for what you have had to endure from such an early age. I really am. You are a survivor.

In answer to your question. There is nothing better than honesty. Start what could be a beautiful relationship off with complete honesty. I think that this will bring you even closer. It’s very personal, and you are sharing this very intimate moment with what could be your new love.

I wish you everything good with this relationship.

Take good care,

Andy🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[PackerGirl in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Thank you Andy!

Enduring what I did as a child and then when I was 23 altered my life, forever. I work so hard to not let it control my life and feel like attempting to be in a real, soulful, loving relationship might be the next step.

I’ll talk to her about this. I’m nervous as I don’t want her to reject me but I don’t feel like she will. I have hope!

Thank you again, Kelli

[Krn210]

I agree with Andy. Firstly, I too am so sorry that you had some very traumatic experiences. I can understand why you would have anxiety regarding any of those situations. As for your new relationship; I would be honest with her. I don’t think she will mind at all. She could very well be thrilled to potentially be your first. I mean, I know if she were me I wouldn’t mind at all that you weren’t overly experienced. I wish you nothing but the best!!

[fauxartist]

Just let things evolve naturally....all things in their own time. Women don't turn gay because of bad experiences with men, that's BS. People love who they want to love, and who they feel comfortable loving at that time. Just be yourself...forget about labels, and disclosure of anything all at once....just enjoy the time you’re having feelings without all the fear.

[Hidden]

Slow but sure wins the race

BOB