Need Support

[healingbluefairy]

TW - Suicide

I am not sure how to post here and if this is even a place to post my issues but I have been looking for crisis support for the past couple days (feels like weeks).

My SO tried to commit suicide twice this year and it has uprooted the life we had. We moved into his parents which is two hours away from my family. We moved over there so they can be there to support him when he needs them.

I have bipolar disorder 1 and the state took away my insurance so I haven’t been on my meds since his first attempt in January. This same thing happened to my SO this month!! Because of that he has been having anxiety attacks.

His anxiety attacks include an urge to run away and he has ran away once. I have been there for him during EVERY EPISODE and his family hasn’t. They even saw him leave the house frantically with no shoes, and they didn’t do anything but ask me for help. I feel like I shouldn’t be the only one supporting my SO. I’ve been trying to be supportive and try to include them when they are in really low place. Even though I recently told him I need help with his emotions because he has been having so many crisis is, they have yet to like do anything. I feel so overwhelmed and stressed out and every time I do try to get them to help me which is really hard for me because I have social anxiety they seem responsive and want to help. But when actual things happen they seem to retreat into this condescending tone we are mental illness doesn’t seem to be as serious as it is. They know that their son almost passed away and they still haven’t tried to do anything. The only thing I’ve seen get done is them go into our space and put posters up. Even though I know they have the best intentions when they put motivational posters on the wall, it feels really belittling because we have shared that this isn’t some thing that is going to get cured with motivational posters. It’s gonna take serious time and conversations for everyone to get through this together and it seems that they wanna fix it with Band-Aids. I feel so overwhelmed that everything is bringing me to tears and I really feel like they need to step up and stop expecting me to fix these problems for him or just to be the voice of reason for him. They tell him to pray and he doesn’t believe in God so it’s no help to him at that moment when he needs their help. I have a lot of issues myself and I’m not medicated right now so it’s hard for me to deal with these issues when it’s happening and after. I’ve been in a depressive episode and I’ve been crying for three days straight. We finally got some time apart and I feel all the things that have happened are now coming to the surface and I feel alone.

[myfavoritehobby]

Hey,

I have terrible social anxiety as well so I can totally relate to that. I am only 19 and have no idea what Im saying so feel free to do with my advice what you will.

I think you have to focus on yourself I bit more. You can support your SO, but in my opinion at a certain point you have to remember that you need to take care of yourself as well. I know it sounds completely fucked and corny but maybe try drinking more water, eating healthier, meditation, reading, Involving yourself in some sort of artistic expression, exercise, going for walks, bike rides, Etc. All that stuff they say in the thousands of virtually identical "How to beat depression" books. I don't know how much of that you do already, but if you dont do any maybe try to involve some of that in your life. Just remember to pace yourself. Start slow and remember you are not going to change your life style in a day, week, month, or maybe even year. It will take time. Do not beat yourself up if you have a depressive episode that completely takes your life over for a period of fortnights, because things like that are bound to happen to people like us.

If you do think all that sounds like it could possibly be a good idea, maybe you could try to get your SO to do some of it with you? Maybe him seeing you develop these healthier habits will encourage him to want to be healthier as well?

I think you are doing a great job supporting him. Just remember you can only do so much. At a certain point he must see it in himself to try and get better. And you really have no control over whether he ever comes to that realization or not.

Regarding his parents maybe try to educate them about mental health and the fact that what you guys deal with is real and scientific. Maybe show some youtube videos? This may be a good option considering the whole social anxiety issue. I know personally that just the seemingly small feat of saying "hey can I show you this video I think it could help you guys understand what we are going through and how you can help" can feel like a life threatening situation when thinking about it, but trust me that it is possible.

Again I don't really know if any of this is good advice or even relevant. I just read your message and can relate to a lot of things you say you are feeling/going through.

Please feel free to reach out to me if you are feeling alone and/or just want to tell somebody what you are feeling.

Ok, hope this helps in some way. Please remember to be kind to yourself.

Alex.

I am too lazy to go back and proof read this so if there are any glaring errors or something that doesn't make any sense I am sorry lol

[healingbluefairy in reply to myfavoritehobby]

Omg thank you so much for your time and support!! I really do need to prioritize my feelings. I really appreciate your message, you really validated my feelings <3

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry you are in such a sticky place, I know how hard it is, I tried suicide twice and got caught. Look in the front of your phone book, it lists services and a suicide hot line, there is also a No. 24/7 call 988. As far as your med's go there are services for that, find out if your manufacturer offers help, I had that in the past, my psychiatrist helped me, I had no insurance and a low paying job. With his help I would get 3 months at a time, this went on for several years, do the same with your SO's med's. Try social services for help, salvation army, red cross, they may be able to point you in a helpful direction. Sounds like you both need therapy, I know there are free resources or low paying. Write to us here we offer help and support.

As far as his parents go, they are probably ignorant to the facts and frightened, not knowing what to do to help, perhaps you should move back to where you were. There is still a stigma about mental health. Coming on line here, we understand, there is a lot of suffering and we help each other. I hope this is of help for you, write to anytime we offer support, love, wish you peace and send you big hugs.......