Friends

[Confused000]

I am trying to accept my emotions and not judge myself over what I'm feeling but sometimes I can't help but wonder why do I have to think like this, why does my mind harm myself most.

I'd like to know if any of you have this same reaction.

Everytime I see some of my friends hanging out together, without having invited me, I get very very low.

I mean I know it's not like they should invite me everywhere, but I feel so left out when they hang out and I'm not there.

And sometimes this feeling gets so low that I get gradually into a really bad state of depression, suicidal thoughts pop up and so on.

I do have quite some friends that I hang out with, it's not like I have a group of just 3 best friends and they hang out separately with the purpose of leaving me out. So it is not something with bad intent or so.

I think I just need too much validation from people. I need everyone to like and want me around and so on. Even though I used to say a lot of the time things like I don't care what people think about me and so on, I believe that deep inside I actually feel the opposite.

Note: I am actually much better, but just now this happened to me again and even though I am in a better state emotionally, this still quite affected me.

[hypercat54]

I think it's normal to feel unwanted in those circumstances, but just remind yourself you do have friends to hang about with so they do like you. I'm in a similar situation right now so do understand how it makes you feel.

[Confused000 in reply to hypercat54]

I think the problem would be that I'm quite a hypocrite in these kind of situations. I expect my friends to ask me along everytime they go out but I don't do the same with them. So the problem is actually me. It is just quite hard to let go of this habit of expecting things from others that I myself don't do for them.

Because in this situation for example, I'd say it's crazy to have to invite ALL of my friends everytime I go out, but when it comes to others I tend to forget this.

Thank you for your answer and understanding!

Also I feel like this was quite a childish thing for me to post but those were/are actual emotions that I'm feeling and make me low. But yeah I'll keep working on it.

Have a blessed day! Things will be alright.

[hypercat54 in reply to Confused000]

It's important if it bothers you and never apologise for how you feel.

[BlueSky125]

I can relate to what you are experiencing. You mentioned that you feel that your mind is trying to harm you. The way that I’ve come to understand this type of situation is when you are in a stressed state your brain is in a heightened sense of awareness with the purpose of identifying and preparing for potential threats. When there is no real threats then it will pick something that is the most likely. In your case it’s the sense of being rejected by your friends. I look at this as mainly an indirect issue or a symptom. Focus more on activities that will put you in a more relaxed state and you should see a reduction in these type of thoughts.