Can anyone help me?

[dailyblueberry0507]

I was asleep and the I woke up and saw that my dog had moved (He was sleeping on my chest and really clingy tonight) so I stretched over a bit then I said something and my words didn’t come out right. I remember my husband laughing and saying ,”Were those even words I heard.” I remember feeling behind my right ear pressure like it was folded or something as soon as I lifted my head I felt blood rushing to my head I can’t remember if it was before or after I was talking. I started to get scared I was having a stroke then I felt immense anxiety which turned to a panic attack. I was sweating overheating my pulse was 110 bpm. I felt disconnected to my body my right side was numb maybe I laid on it too much? Then I tried to calm down but was trembling a lot for a while. My anxiety usually makes me go to the bathroom and then I felt alittle better. Is this anxiety or is something wrong with me? Anyways my a** of a husband said, “IT’S JUST ANXIETY YOU’RE FINE! Why does this happen all the time? Why do you do this I am tired”.

I didn’t even try to argue with him but he just kept picking fights trying to get me to argue with him as I begged him to stop yelling at me because I didn’t feel good. Then he said,” Why is everything about you how about me I am tired and you make me do all these things for you. I responded and said,”What things I asked you to pass me the blood pressure machine? Or to turn on the light because something was wrong?” ( both of which are on his side of the bed).

“No you keep me up with all this drama it’s midnight now. Are you f*** with me right now or are you that stupid?” He said.

We had already went to bed at 10:50 but he stayed on his phone looking at reddit in fact before I got sick he told me he was putting his phone on the charger so he must have still been awake. Idk what to do I feel alone and scared in my bed I can’t sleep really hope it’s just a panic attack messing with me. Side note I recently been having trouble swallowing food like tighting in my neck muscles. I just don’t want to go to the Er during Covid for a panic attack. Seriously considering divorce am I crazy?

[Hidden]

I would not be afraid to go to the ER. Actually a doc was on TV news saying too many people are dying because they are afraid to go to the ER. It is hard to say whats going on with you but I dont think you should ignore it or blow it off to anxiety.

Re your marriage, would your husband be willing to consider marriage counseling? He is being as ass but he may just be at the end of his rope. I have anxiety/ depression and we do tend to think it is all about us and forget our partners have needs too. We are dometimes hard to live with. He may need someone to talk to to vent his frustrations. I wouldnt give up just yet without trying dome outside help.

[dailyblueberry0507 in reply to Hidden]

Hey Hoski,

I ended up not going to the ER but I will have a meeting with my Doctor today or tomorrow. We have talked about marriage counseling but he never follows through. He has anger issues well before I came along. Sometimes I feel like I have to lie to my friends and say that everything is ok when it’s not. So I really appreciate these responses because I feel like I did something wrong by letting my anxiety control me. And sometimes I am not sure how much of his anger is normal in a healthy relationship. I will give the marriage counseling a try as long as he is willing. Again thanks have a great week.

[Hidden in reply to dailyblueberry0507]

Good luck with the counseling. Hope he will cooperate. I think sometimes people are afraid they will find out or others will find out they are not ok, it’s easier to play the blame game. Hugs💜

[dailyblueberry0507]

Thank you Rick. I will contact my Doctor after work today. Thanks for making me laugh with the dog blanket I need that right now. I appreciate the words of advice

[dailyblueberry0507]

Yea I went to the doctor later on and I was positive for bacterial pneumonia that was probably my body freaking out. I am good now btw. Healthy as can be just reading this after yesterday well you already know..... 😔

[dailyblueberry0507]

It’s fine now I know anxiety isn’t all that bad sometimes it’s warning you that something else is off. I probably caught it when I was reading positive blood cultures at work. A reminder that we are all fragile sometimes and it’s ok. Thanks again.

[goldieoldie]

Your description of a severe panic attack and your husbands reactions speaks volumes.I am concerned as I dont think he will ever show you respect and his remarks were nothing short of being immature and self-centred.....Im feeling sad have read most of your posts,its so easy for you to blame yourself as your under extreme anxiety and cannot find solace anywhere---------I had a so called boyfriend who was very lacking in understanding---was so insistent-or persistent-he too put his fist through my mothers door ------that was meant for me--i used to have some physical fights inasmuch as I would pull his hair-------I was going thru an agrophobic spell and really didnt want this person in my life ninteen yrs as was he---------sexual frustration........he couldnt understand why I just couldnt go out ,and refused to go,,,,,much older and wiser too(sorry to ramble)!