My wife and I are currently separated based on my request as I lost myself to different things and am trying to get myself back. Tonight while FaceTiming with my son I noticed that she wasn’t wearing hers. I’ve had mine on all along. I have this sense of insecurity right now and tingling from my head to my toes that I want to say something to her but I know that if I do it may cause a bigger issue as I’m wanting to work on this and she said that she does also.
Thoughts? Should I take mine off?
Do what you feel. If she's not wearing it fine. Just try to work it out for the kids if possible but if not sometimes it's better and more amicable. It's better for the kids to be nice to each other that if fighting. Been there done that.
Thank you. I just need to get in the mindset. She has taken if off before and I wasn’t worried. What changed now? The fact we are separated?
Probably the fear of it being final. She is making a point but it's what's on her heart that matters and it will mean that much more when she puts it back on.
Sorry. That must of been rough to see. Don’t jump to any conclusions and wait. I know it’s hard, but wait.
Good luck and I hope your time with your son was nice.
Hi,I'm sorry about your troubles. Personally I wouldn't take yours off as a reaction to her doing so. She is probably feeling hurt and insecure too. If you were the one asking for a break them she may feel unloved or that you don't want her or the marriage. If you both want to talk then do so. You have more chance of recovery that way.She could see you taking yours off as proof that you want the marriage to end.
The decision to take yours off should be a personal choice when you are sure it's over ,not as a reaction .
Also be honest with yourself about the reason s you asked for the break. If it's better that your wife and child is elsewhere then you have been very responsible in creating distance. Only you know feel down what's going on and deep down what's right.
Hope this helps.At the end of the day..it's your decision. Just take a decision after thinking things through first.
I would talk to her first. Tell her you're confused because she said she wants to work it out but you noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. Marriage is based on honesty and communication so absolutely bring it up. Point blank you're not wearing your ring I thought you wanted to work it out...yes or no. What's the deal! I would then make a decision at that point. Is your wife living far away?
Always here. It's not easy trust me I know.
I don’t want to put a damper on it you’ve had lots of positive comments on here but I’ve tried to think of it as me being the wife you asked for a separation therefore I would see that as a lot of things and a lot of questions going through my mind like he Dosent love me etc he Dosent think we are worth working on.theres something about me being around that he Dosent like ?even if it’s temporary she’s allowed in my eyes to temporarily take her ring off as at that point the relationship is not where it should be I know if my partner suddenly decided he wanted to separate even temporarily I would certainly take my ring off it sounds like you feel your problems are about yourself and something you need to work on alone can you not share those issues with her?she probably feels out of the loop I know I always want my partner to share everything with me high or low .maybe I’ve got it all wrong .maybe she took it off for that call.maybe she’s asking for attention I do not know but your wife needs you and your not there
I do have a lot to work on myself and I have been doing just that. We are going to therapy together for the last couple weeks and have another session this afternoon. I just jump to conclusions as I’ve been in such a depressed mood since they’ve been gone and I’m by myself in my thoughts. I do see the point you make though.
I need her just as much as she needs me and I haven’t been there to support her emotionally or physically for some time.
It sounds like your grieving but in another way for the loss of your relationship it might have been the right decision but you don’t know that yet until you’ve spent time apart .im very sorry you are having a difficult time and it’s good that you have noticed your faults that’s a very good thing that way you could work on those if you were to rekindle the relationship but do understand that your wife’s emotions are no one’s responsibility but her own and everyone deals with things differently some people laugh some people cry some people rebel show anger and hatred you must use this time like you said to think about the relationship and yourself and what you want out of the relationship sometimes it helps to write things down like why you should keep going and why you shouldn’t then come to a conclusion based on that information.seeing a therapist Dosent sound correct as you have already left the house that would be something I’d expect to do before leaving do you have a lease or staying with family? however If it’s what works best for you and your wife then sell be it I wish you all the best x
EXACTLY! Not for nothing, but I would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes. You asked for a separation-well, now you've got it, so deal with the consequences.
I would say just tell her/show her your feelings. She might be wondering if you are seeing someone else or have feelings for someone else. If you are a good person, are there for her, and tell her you care—maybe that will help? It is sad you cannot be together during these times. But it is healthy if you are doing it to get to a better place. Best wishes!!
I have told her during our therapy sessions. It is just harder this week since the therapist suggested that we not talk at all this past week in order to try to “make the heart grow fonder” as I was just talking about us and she was hurt so I didn’t respect her time to grieve with what I asked for.
It has been a week from hell and I NEVER want to go through this again
If you can afford a counselor I would recommend that especially with telemedicine. Bottom line don’t beat yourself up what’s done is done. The past is the past. Are you willing to move forward? Maybe it’s her own issues don’t beat yourself up.
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