I hate having to fight depression. And it's just that. I have to chose to fight it. Every single day I have to fight it. It doesn't ever just go away. Medication doesn't help it much either. Every single day is a struggle. Some days are more difficult than others. Some folks have mild depression. Maybe medication is enough for them. Nothing has ever really taken mine away. It's not like I enjoy being depressed. I hate it! Therefore, I hate a part of me. That's not okay. It's not psychologically healthy to hate a part yourself. I don't wish to embrace the depression anymore than I would want to embrace any other chronic medical condition. It's absolutely unreal to treat this disease as an addiction, unless the disease lead to an addiction as self medication. There is a basic biological imbalance. Unfortunately, current medical science doesn't have a concrete understanding of the basis of the illness. They are shooting in the dark blindfolded. Yet it is considered my problem. Huh? Blame the patient.
Kind of like the current pandemic. Viruses have been around a long time. Mental illness's have been around a long time. There are lots of therapies for treating symptoms of the two diseases. There are respirators and antivirals. There are talk therapies and antidepressants. The fact, however, remains people have died of this disease; people are dying of this disease, and people will continue to die of this disease. And we don't even know how many, because we don't know how many "fatal accidents" are actual suicides. I guess this segment of the population doesn't matter much. It's only mental illness. Only the sick and weak are dying. Survival of the fittest.
I don't have the answers; no one does. I may sit quietly and suffer. Thanks to those of you around me, I do not suffer alone. I may suffer in silence, but I do not suffer alone.