Out of the hospital

[Bluetj]

Just made it home from the hospital. Feeling scared still, depressed, overwhelmed. Will this nightmare ever end? What did I do wrong? What am I still doing wrong? I will b @ my house alone beginning this coming weekend, am I nervous? DEFINITELY!!!!😔😔😢😢😭😭😭😭

[Agora1]

Bluetj, I'm glad you are home. What did the tests show?

There's always someone here over the weekend including

myself. xx

[Bluetj in reply to Agora1]

The test all came back good even for corona. Agora1 its just hard when u wanna shut down but u can't. I don't wanna move back where I came from, it won't even help just family will watch me go thru this. Just all over the place rite now. 😔😔😢😢😭😭

[Agora1 in reply to Bluetj]

I know you are feeling all over the place right now, but you have to look

at the positive side of last night. You are one of the fortunate ones who

tested okay. Everything came back good. Now's the time for you to start

believing in what you were told. So many people at home wonder and worry

about what they are feeling. You have been assured that it is not a physical

issue but an emotional one. That you have choice over. You do not need to

go back like it use to be. The time is for you to go forward with courage and

belief that you can and will overcome your anxiety. It's okay to feel a little

afraid during these uncertain times. But don't allow it to take control over

you again. You can do this Bluetj. I believe in that. xx

[Bluetj in reply to Agora1]

The fight never seems to end. I just need a break, b happy for a moment. Am I askn 2 much?

[Agora1 in reply to Bluetj]

We have to make our own "happy" It must come from within us.

When you look around, do you not see anything that brings a smile

to your face. Problems will always be there for us to deal with. How

we accept and react to those problems will make us stronger or destroy

us. Your choice. xx

[Bluetj in reply to Agora1]

But I am tryn 2 push thru this. I smile but none of it seems real. I manages to go towards the lite n the tunnel but once I start climbing out seems like something is at the top that kicks me back in. I'm sorry, I'm just having it very hard rite now.

[Agora1 in reply to Bluetj]

Bluetj, I just scrolled through your posts from the last 8 months. It looks like

that's when you got on the forum with the overwhelming symptoms/feelings.

Are you on any medication right now? I don't remember you mentioning it.

There comes a time that meds are important to get you over the hump. Meds

plus some talk therapy can get you started on the right path. You seem to be

in this deep dark hole right now and it's going to take more than you pushing to

get to the top. You say there is always something at the top that makes you

slide right back down inthis black hole. You need some help right now. That

is not a defeat but a necessity. xx

[Bluetj in reply to Agora1]

I am on meds & am talking to a therapist, my appt with my therapist is every Monday. This bp & heart rate that just happen, now I will b on more meds.

[Agora1 in reply to Bluetj]

Bluetj, I had the same thing at one time. B/P out of site. Eventually the doctor

found what med worked for me best, the right dose as well as the right time of

day to take it. Along with the meds, I had therapy. When that didn't seem to

be enough, I started with daily meditation and breathing.

I am now in a good place. I had to help get myself there. Couldn't rely completely

on meds. There are some great videos on YouTube that can help you with Relaxation, Lowering B/P and Heart Rate.

I understand your frustration and fears. Life will never go smoothly. There will always be those bumps in the road. We must train our mind and body to adjust

to the unexpected things in our life. Whatever it takes right now to turn your life

around will be well worth it in the long run. xx

[Bluetj in reply to Agora1]

I'm use to dealing with the crazy bp it was the heartrate that scared me more than anything & the look on medical staffs faces. Some of them looked afraid & worried as to wat may happen. At the hospital, I've never had that many people in the room when they were trying to get my heart rate down. It looked like they were all on standby 2 go n2 action if something went wrong.

[Agora1 in reply to Bluetj]

But I do understand, the time I was in the ER I had a doctor sitting

in there with me and when the defibrillator was rolled in, I knew they

were extremely concerned. I asked them if they could try a Xanax to

calm me down. 15 minutes later, I was in normal sinus rhythm. My

anxiety over this had caused the heart rate to sky rocket into the 200's.

Now a days, there are medications that can help bring down both your

b/p and/or h/r. The doctors will find what works for you. Believe in them

and yourself. xx

[Hidden in reply to Bluetj]

That peace you seek is yours. Imagine your safe place, where you fee most at peace. That situation, those people, those safety nets, those are all external. The peace you deem is from within. Learn to make the switch

[Hidden]

Just a walk in the park sister. There a minions wondeful people back in the saddle and none care about judgi g hosliakization

Take care of yurself. Hey busy buokfi gbhhe life u want. U dint need permission

So u were in the hodlitsl so what

Remendr the other 98 percent of u

[JustHangingOn]

I'm so very sorry that you have to be home by yourself. When my anxiety is bad I need to feel the support of people being with me. I need the hugs. I need to be able to express my fears. I need the reassurance that we're going to get through this. I can completely understand why you are fearful. My heart goes out to you.

[lindaloutoo]

I feel soooo badly for you.People always telling you to hang in there.Just try to remember to try to recognize the little things that are good,the green trees,a bird,something someone says makes you smile,whatever it is,take it in your heart and hold on to it.Look forward to tomorrow,who knows there will be good moments.For heart racing,take deep breaths through your nose and then blow out your mouth slowly emptying your lungs.After 4 or 5 of these your heart slows down.I have lung cancer and A-fib and I feel hopeless at times,but I have a strength inside that keeps me going,I think it is finding strength in helping folks like you and praying that what I can offer,helps. Keep reaching out and always know you are stronger than you think.Love and Hugs to you.

[Bluetj in reply to lindaloutoo]

I did the deep breathing with my dr along with other things that didnt slow my heart rate down any thats y she called the ambulance 4 me 2 go 2 hospital. It just gets overwhelming the anxiety, depression, corona & then all the other crazy things going on in the world.