Panic ruling my life again

[Gwen5]

Haven’t been here in months. You were all so very supportive and kind. At the time I was looking for help with unmanageable pain along with my panic disorder. That has become worse and now with this covid lockdown I feel, like most, a prisoner. I had been hospitalized for 35 days with pneumonia and rehab and also caught the regular flu. The beds messed up my back so I can hardly walk. One of my dogs got very ill and I had to hospitalize her for a bit. Stress levels are so high the meds I am on are barely holding me together. I am a widow so this is all new to feel so alone. Everything is on the phone now and I don’t do well without human contact. I have no close friends. I wake up every day wondering why. Just want to live in that sleep world where I am free and my husband is with me. Sorry, just venting a little pity party. I’m tired of living thru the computer and on the phone. No human touch in months. Called skin hunger and it’s real. My dogs are the only thing that keeps me here. I’m in the high risk group for exposure so I’ve had to make arrangements for them if something happens to me. Talk about depressing. All I feel is PD, pain and depression suck and have created the perfect storm. Thanks for listening.

[Mary-intussuception]

X

[Agora1]

Hi Gwen, I'm glad you choose to come back. We may not be able

to provide "human touch" but we can provide caring support during

these trying times. We're here for each other. xx

[Lucille-B]

Hi Gwen, I realise you need skin contact but without that option right now look into some cool online groups. Book clubs, music, meditation, It seems with a lot of people socially distancing and being in lock down people have started to find interesting ways of connecting online. I know there is still no skin contact, but maybe a friendly face to talk to would help. Especially if it involves a new hobby. I am going to be doing a 21 day meditation challenge during our 3 week lock down. (I am from South Africa). I am also going to practice playing guitar and be creative. Is there something creative you can do with a group of people online? Do some online searched around hobbies or interests. You might make some fiends too.

I am really sorry to hear about your husband Must be hard. My dad passed away almost a year ago. End of the month will be a year. We were very close. It's hard. I can't even imagine what it must be like losing a spouse. You have been very strong. Just keep hanging in there. Really do try and join some fun /interesting groups. It will help.

I am really glad you have your dogs with you. Animals are great company. I have a 1 year old pitbull that I picked up on the road after someone dumped her when she was a puppy. She is amazing. I call her my emotional support dog even though she isn't registered or trained. She makes me feel better. Cuddle those fur babies all the time.

It is definitely a difficult time but I feel if you could get through 35 days in hospital with pneumonia you can deal with the self isolating. Being sick makes me very anxious. I would rather be lonely than sick I think. Try and take this time to find ways of grounding your anxiety. I know it's hard and often I don't know how either but I'm pretty sure meditation helps of you do it every day. Also stay away from too much social media and news. I found it triggered my anxiety too much. So I limit it to reading news articles in the morning when I am more able to deal with it. (I mostly get night time anxiety).

Not sure if I have been helpful but I wanted to let you know I hear you and I realise it is hard for you and I hope it will get better.

Take care,

Lucille

[Jumprope14]

This is an extremely difficult time right now. I can't imagine how difficult this may be for you. I know it's difficult to not have human contact so please keep speaking to us here and hopefully we can get you through this difficult time . So very sorry for the loss of your husband. I also was a Caregiver for the elderly for nine years so I know what it's like to care for others. I actually got much satisfaction out of it. Please try to take the best care of yourself to get better. Keep communicating with us here during this time. It's helpful.