my anxiety rules my life

[Metal13]

does anyone else feel like their anxiety rules their life? I do. I feel like I make decisions based on it. I tried really hard to find a new job and I got one, accepted the offer and gave my 2 weeks notice at my current job. Then after 4 days of chest pains, stomach pain and no nights sleep I made the decision to stay at my current job. It may have been the best decision since I have been there for so long but my problem is I dwell on every decision I make and I never know if I made it because of my anxiety. It’s an endless tiresome cycle. I wish I wasn’t this way.

[Grace227]

yes! When depression isn’t controlling it at least (but they are good at taking turns). Anyhow, starting a new job is very stressful, but why were you looking for a new one in the first place?

[Metal13 in reply to Grace227]

After 8 years my job decided to make my position safety sensitive which means I am subject to random drug testing. I have a medical marijuana card for PTSD and anxiety. But in the state i live in even if u have a card any company can drug test you and fire you if ur job is safety sensitive. I have decided to stay and basically fight for my job because of the anxiety I felt about leaving it. And Ofcourse I immediately feel like I made the wrong decision by staying or leaving because when I decided to leave my anxiety about it was so terrible. I basically feel trapped by my anxiety and I hate it.

[bondmee]

Same to me,my anxiety determines what I should do,Anxiety takes decision in my life not me

[QTtealover]

Anxiety runs my life, too. I’m afraid to go to work for fear of messing up. I’ve changed jobs multiple times because at least when you’re new somewhere mistakes are somewhat expected. I just want you to know you are not alone. Keep fighting. Every day you get out of bed is a victory.

[MRAnxious123]

I don't know if this will be helpful or not but through therapy I have learned to feel the fear and do it anyway. We are so conditioned in life that we make up stories about ourselves that aren't true. Dealing with anxiety is a process in healing. Take it one day at a time and really focus on the present rather than worrying so much about the past or what could happen in the future.

[Metal13]

I still don’t know of a way to reply to all on here so I’m just gonna type this and maybe everyone can see. Thank you all so much for reading my comments and responding. Posting here and reading everyone’s responses seems to be helping me more than therapy and I wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate it.