What does derealization mean?

[Churchlady19]

Derealization? Anxiety & depression sufferer trying to explain to my friends that one of the first symptoms I experience when I know I’m heading into a depressive episode is feeling like I’m not really “there” - someone can be talking to me & I feel totally disconnected- like I’m watching from somewhere else. Does anyone else experience this? Or also feeling like there’s something you’re supposed to be doing - say cleaning or laundry - everyday stuff - but you can’t figure out why you’re doing it? Like there’s no purpose?

Hoping someone understands this! It’s so strange!

[Shanm2]

You are not alone in feeling this!

First of all, I just want to give you a little praise for realizing the symptoms and being aware when you may be headed towards a depressive episode. It can take a long time, even a life time for people to get to this level of self awareness.

I've experience the feeling of being disconnected from myself and also from other people.

The only way i can explain this is; i could be sitting on a bench in a park or public place, and im looking at eveyone walking around. Only its like watching them through a T.V. and not with my own eyes.

And when i feel disconnected from myself; I could be looking at my reflection in the mirror. Only my eyes dont look like they belong on my face. As if i'm not real and more so somebody else.

Its really good that you can talk to friends about these feelings! Talking helps to not feel so alien about it. Also when you are feeling like this maybe try grounding yourself in some way, that being writing or even have a cup of hot tea - something along those lines

I hope that this feeling pass for you and that you are doing okay today!

Upon reading your post and seeing the word derealization, it reminded me of Depersonalization.

Depersonalization - can consist of a detachment within the self, regarding one's mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, lacking in significance or being outside reality while looking in.

Derealization - is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring, and depth.

Hope some of these, might be of some help to you.

(Sorry for the super long paragraphs) 😭

[Churchlady19 in reply to Shanm2]

Thank you so much, Shanm2. This makes so much sense especially depersonalization. I’d never heard of that before & it really explains what I’ve been feeling so much better. My life has felt very vague & I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing - like it doesn’t matter anyway. Thanks for reassuring me that it’s not unusual!

Got back on Effexor & I’m slowly getting back to my old “normal”. Everyone says “one day at a time” but right now it’s 1 hour at a time. Hopefully on the other side of this episode soon!

[B4andafter]

Shanm2's answer and explanation is bang on! I've experienced the same typically in association with anxiety and depression so just reassuring you that you are not alone.