Help? Relationships.

[DollJuice]

I have a bit of an issue. You see, I'm 16 (almost 17) and the only....ONLY men that I am attracted to are the ones that are 15+ years and or 10+ minimum. I being 16 in the United States legally can't do this, and I can not find anyone as well. I don't know what to do in all honesty. I'm in a relationship that I can no longer continue seeing as I faked it from the start to make him feel better. Help? Advice?

[LadyZen]

I was raped by a man that befriended me when I was 16. He was 10 years older than me. 16 in most states is the legal age of consent unless the person is a teacher or an authority figure. Having said this, older men who are drawn to young girls have issues. My own rapist confessed he raped me and a 15 year old and he had been molested when he was 8. Why the nut would tell me this is beyond me. At 16, you deserve to be care free and enjoy life. You don't need the baggage of a grown man. Sorry if I'm being frank, but I feel very strongly about this topic for obvious reasons.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I assume you mean you are attracted to men who are 10 or 15 years older than you are? Do I understand that correctly?

[DollJuice in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

yes

[Xyra]

Dolljuice, I never understood why people are so opinionated over lgbtq. To me, these are all sexual preferences. Period. If you like same sex, diff, anal, whatever! Girl, you do you! Find what makes you feel sexy and willing to open your heart up and feel love and excitement. If it’s older men, awesome! But... don’t fake it. You deserve the real thing.

Most people also suspect or have some idea and appreciate the truth. The longer you are tied down with this relationship, the longer you are putting off finding something real and fun and loving for yourself! You’re worth it, Doll.

[EleanorRose]

If you are in a relationship you feel you no longer want to be in then the best and kindest thing to do for yourself and the person you are with would be to end the relationship.

Do you feel you have to be in a relationship right now?

If you’re not really interested in boys your age at the moment, that’s ok, but perhaps is a sign you’d be better off single for a while?

Girls always seem to mature so much quicker than boys do so in some ways it’s not surprising that you’re not that attracted to boys your age. Maybe in a few years time, when they are more mature as well, you’ll feel differently about it.

There’s nothing wrong with you feeling attracted to these people who are older than you but feeling attracted to them and actually being in a relationship with them are different things. Someone 15 years older than you would be in their 30s and I would be a little wary of someone in their 30s who is actively seeking out a relationship with someone so much younger. Be careful, is all I am saying.

You will know what is right for you and you will find the right person for you but don’t feel as though you have to find them right now, you don’t. You still have so much time to just do what makes you happy.

Take care,

Eleanor