At the end of my rope..again.

[Righteoustakeme]

Hey guys, I’ve been MIA for a lot of the last year, I know. But I am back with some terrible news. I recently found myself in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship, so I left the guy while he was at work. My dad picked me and my trash bags full of clothes up and I am currently staying with him. But unfortunately, I have no privacy, no room of my own and there’s no heat/ac/hot water here. I’ve been sleeping on the couch while my dad sleeps adjacent on the other couch, but his snores/sleep apnea are so bad that most times I cannot get to sleep until the wee hours of the early morning. It’s exhausting. I feel so alienated and not apart of this household. I don’t eat the food here because I don’t feel welcome so if I eat at all it’s at the end of the day when my dad can get me something. I also have no car bc my starter died, and even if I had money to buy a new starter my mom won’t give my car back to me. Before I left said guy, my mom said she would take me back in. But, upon my brother stirring the pot and telling mom I was upset with how drunk she got on thanksgiving, she changed her mind. THEN, she told me I could pay $250 to live there each month and give my stepdad the money I owe him and it’d be fine. But, upon inquiring about this to my stepdad, he spited me by telling me, “motivating, isn’t it??” Wow. I was floored. On top of that, he has another reason for not wanting me to stay and it’s because he poked his nose around my Twitter (which is usually private) and saw some racy things I said about the guy I’m seeing and got angry and started a fight w my mom over it. So. My mom is basically just letting him have the say now and i can’t go back. She said I’ve thrown a wrench in the process with my social media. So. Seems sort of shallow, but ok. Meanwhile, my stepmom is scolding me for trying to rely on my dad when I don’t have any money or car to get anywhere—then my little brother added in his 2 cents. because I came down with strep throat this am and I am trying to find my way to a dr tomorrow. I feel like if I died today it would unburden everyone I know or have known. Especially my family. If I told my mom I felt that way, she would tell me not to put that evil on her. So. Not sure what to do. My whole body aches and my ears/lymph nodes/throat hurt so badly from this virus; and I also have the chills and am feverish. I came down with a yeast infection a few days ago as well, so that sucks and I am waiting for it to go away after I took OTC meds a few days ago. I am questioning why I even left this abusive guy in the first place because now I hav no stability. I hate my life.

[BerniesMom]

I know U r suffering, but DO NOT GO BACK to an ABUSER!!! U R hurt by your family's turning back on you. It also sounds like they don't want to take any accountability for where u r at.

The best way to show u r worth while is to build yourself up. U r safe from harm. Drink fluids and eat bread, snacks, get to hospital and get treated. U r tired now. But, just do 1 thing a day. Look for something to do when u can't be upright. Read, draw, write, daydream...before u know it u will be stronger and able to get out and do something. U r destined to do something great. U' ll be a stronger person for what u r going through.

[Righteoustakeme]

Thank you so much 🥺❤️😭 I don’t know what to do.

[Jan5578]

Hang in there.

[BetterDays14]

Stay strong 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[Worriedman19]

First off I would like to express my sorrow for the situation you are in right now. I understand you feel like you're in a bad place right now. The best advice I can give you it's to take it one day at a time. Never go back to abusive relationship no person should be treated that way. I understand that mental illness is not easy on a relationship especially if the person you're with is abusive. You can do this I know you're going through a lot keep your head up and try to have a positive attitude.

[Pagesofwords]

Thank goodness you are away from the abuser! You are of great value as a human being and do not need someone who cannot honor you.

I'm wondering if you've thought about going to a safe house for victims of domestic violence. The staff there may be able to help you get back on your feet again and provide counseling and support.

It sounds as if you're feeling abandoned by your mom--maybe it is better to not turn to her at this time. Is there any kind friend or relative you could turn to? Your dad is letting you stay with him--is he able to give you encouragement and support? I know snoring is hard but so it the pavement outside. Perhaps earplugs could help you sleep.

Hang in there! You are a precious person and do NOT deserve to be abused or abandoned. May God lift you up! I am praying for your every need to be provided and that you not lose hope. Always realize you are LOVED. People on this forum CARE about you.

[Hidden]

I hope things are better now. I hope you were able to stand and show everyone who you really are. You seem like a woman who wants good things in life but is caught in a bad situation where ever you go. So prayers to you that you made it thru some rocky times.