Phobia of Being Unforgivable

[mvillarreal]

So I'm developing this weird phobia where I worry that I will hurt someone really bad and try to apologize, but they won't forgive me. The worst part wouldn't be that the person couldn't forgive me but having to live knowing that it's my fault they hate me. Does anyone else have a fear like this? How do I overcome this fear? I've always thought that, if someone can't forgive you, that's a reflection on them, not you, but now that my belief is being challenged by people who say that forgiveness isn't really a moral value (the "no one owes you forgiveness" line of thinking), this has become a debilitating fear for me.

[Hidden]

Being unforgiven is way worse than what you actually did. It shows that they can't trust you

[Darkla]

It seems like it is rooted in anxiety. I have experienced similar phobias but through CBT therapy the phobias have significantly reduced. I hope you feel better soon because it can be debilitating

[mvillarreal in reply to Darkla]

Yeah. It sucks. I have this visualization of myself apologizing to someone I've hurt and them saying something like, "You know what? After everything you've put me through, I will never forgive you! I hope what you did to me haunts you for the rest of your life. I don't ever want to see you again!" Then, I'm left to bear the guilt forever. It's like I already feel unbearable guilt about some hypothetical wrongdoing I might commit in the future.