Anxiety and constant crying

[jujubeezz]

Over a year ago I took a stressful job and my son was injured. I have had depression on and off most of my life due to horrible things that have happened to me. So I went to the doc and got a new antidepressant and asked for one that would not cause weight gain. She gave me Wellbutrin which seemed to not work so well, so I had my dose increased. Well that was the beginning of sever panic,anxiety, none stop crying. I felt worthless and hopeless and fixating on abandonment from a friend. I took a couple of months off from work where this friend is. My time off was helpful in a small way but now working and sitting by this person has made the crying and hopelessness even worse. I have gone to the doc and they have said a couple of things that could be my problem and the med that they gave doesn’t work. After having such a reaction to the old med I am scared to take anything new. I’ve tried to find a counselor no one calls back. I don’t know what to do about dealing with my friend at work. I’ve shared so much and cried so much that the abandonment will happen why her no clue but for whatever reason it’s just that way. I know after all of this I will be different but I want to feel good about going to work and this friendship or move on from this friendship and be ok. I just feel very alone and a burden to others. The worst part is that I have a great husband and adult kids that I know love me.

I would appreciate any input from anyone that can identify with this thanks so much.

[Hidden]

Sometimes our problems are too much for others to handle. Sharing too much with your friend ? leaning on her too hard for primary support? Grasping here, but perhaps all you had to talk about was your problems and maybe she needed a friend in you too. I cannot say for sure, but we might put too much on our friends, I see it everyday here that others don’t understand why people cut ties, but our disorders can be too much for most.

I don’t know the exact case, but you will be okay. You are okay. As for meds, if you lack trust with your doctors which I understand completely, but you have to let him/her try, most people have to try different meds or even a combination before the right one works. You can combat weight gain with most these meds with lifestyle changes such as diet and including exercise. Exercise can also have a profound effect on you emotionally as well, help with stress and anxiety too. Win win with that.

Keep calling the counselor, someone will call back or you find another way. Key is to keep going and not give up.

[jujubeezz in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response and feedback. I agree with the friend thing for sure I have said a million times to her and about this with my husband that this will be a problem and change the relationship. I have had no control over that part which is troubling. I have no clue why this person either out of all the people in the world. I do exercise I walk several days a week 10 to 12 miles each time. I have started some meditation which kind of helps. I think it has been such a long time to go thru something like this. If I had not had such a bad reaction to that last medicine I think I would feel very differently. It will get better and finding this site I think will help.

Thank you again for your thoughts.

[hatemyhead]

yours does not sound to me like a general anxiety disorder, have the doc check your thyroid level, an out of whack thyroid can cause these issues, also have your blood checked for heavy metals, copper, iron etc, can also mimic anxiety symptoms. from personal experience, wellbutrin is a good 1st med for mild to moderate depression, not a good one for anxiety as it can make you jumpy, but anxiety disorder typically will not concentrate itself on one person or event, it invades and takes over your whole life. good luck and prayers to you

[jujubeezz in reply to hatemyhead]

Thank you for the reply, I have had depression on and off for years but I had never had a panic attack until last year. Now I can tell when it is going to happen I get the overwhelm, heart racing, crying and not knowing what to do. I am out of control in a very real way. The focus on this "work "friend is weird. This person was listing to me and trying to help when I would get upset. Then one day this other friend at work said something about "work friends". She was not talking about thi situation at all. From that day forward the fear that this person is just a work friend and that our relationship is just not that strong has been the main source of my crying, I therefore did all the wrong and clingy things and now that I am back at work after sometime off is weird and of course I have cried there and at home about it. I know that is stupid to focus on this but that is what has happened. The more I have tried to control the situation the worse that is has gotten. I do think that going back to work and just having to deal with it plus some meditation has really helped.

I do have my thyroid checked on a regular and take meds for that. The metal thing I did not know about and will ask at my next doctor visit.

I do appreciate that you reached out which seems to help as well. Take care.