Striving

[Starrlight]

I’m striving to overcome anxiety like so many. I am afraid I’ll be left with anxiety and there I am; a future me way back there not moving much on a lost old path still trying to get out in order to be able to go on ahead and make important life goals. I actually realize I do have some goals in place like I am working on increasing my runs and yoga. I’m trying to be more patient, more kind; not as bothered. I also am taking time for deep breathing and I wish to go onto longer meditations. I am working on connecting with God on a closer level and following guidance.

But I wish I knew what I really want out of life and how to feel secure, trusting life so I can grow. I wonder what I am capable of and it’s concerning me that I feel I should have more motivation to get out there and do more. But I struggling with what I’m already doing so I conclude I’m being impatient with myself. I will ease up some, destress more. I’m just so in contemplation mode it’s hard to relax.

Needed this writing. Really helps to get it out. Thank you for listening 🙏 😊

Blessings to all on our journey.

[imasleep123]

You just expressed exactly what I've been trying to figure out how to express all week! Thank you for sharing!

[Starrlight in reply to imasleep123]

What are you working on right now or would like to work on, (if you feel like sharing?)

[imasleep123 in reply to Starrlight]

I'm working on acceptance. Accepting my diagnosis, accpeting that I made progress so far, accepting that I need help, asking for and accepting help/support, accepting where I am currently at with my treatment. It hasn't been easy but I am getting better at it. And I'm also working on finding my passion/motivation again. Been a long time dealing with depression and it feels like I forgot how to feel happy and enjoy things. 😆

[Starrlight in reply to imasleep123]

Wow that’s great! I can relate... I keep hope that life will look brighter to us soon.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

Note 📝 I feel like my post was on the negative side but when youve had anxiety depression bipolar ocd ptsd etc for so long it gets to where you expect it for the future although that’s not true necessarily... we have to keep hope

[Hidden]

Hi starlight you sound as if you are following an eastern philosophy but are finding the calming aspects are not making you active. As you are busy doing everything for home and family that is a change of direction but it must be helping you so you can find relaxation through the yoga. If you are improving no doubt you are not sceptical of the benefits of increasing your state of consciousness . Every creative activity is a pathway to fulfilment from making a pot garden to cooking something everyone enjoys. Little steps you are motivated to do must be a great improvement . It's finding pleasure in your daily tasks that increases confidence. Trying to do it all at once is stressful criticising yourself. Today I steamed the floors to kill off cats fleas. It was so relaxing and felt good when the living room looked clean and tidy despite puss car who knocks everything on the floor to lead me to her food bowl.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your valuable input.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Think you are finding your way through with yoga as this can help every organ in the body and help your mood. Well done.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's great to see you are in a better place . Christmas is a hectic time with all sorts of memories. I don't know anyone who doesn't get downers at certain time of the year. We wouldn't be human if we didnt. Security is important ..there was a case here when a parent had not made a will passing tenancy rights to his son. He was too young when his father died aged 17 so he was made homeless on his dad.s demise. It's all these worries which make people worried and depressed. We have had awful storms here with a power cut. No lights warmth TV and computer. 😜💖

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yes there are many reasons to become feeling unsettled like we will be thrown to the wind. I try to focus on what makes me feel stable, but it’s difficult right now.

I love storms and the quiet when the lights go out. Do you light candles?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

No the cat knocks everything over. I have some realistic battery candles but love lit candles. They celebrate life! Have a battery lantern. Must charge it up in case of another power cut. Please focus on taking photos and your art work as you are so talented. I took some photos of the sea the other day after a storm. The waves were pounding the shore. I was pleased with pictures and video clip. I have the pleasure of capturing a scene and feeling am part of the moment.

[Tbine]

Hello Starrlight,. Just KNOW that GOD is and WILL direct you and your life where you need to go,. What you need to do, etc. Put 100% belief that where you are now is where you need to be. God will move you when you need to move,and where you need to move to. All you have to do is BELIEVE that God is in control of it ALL. We are like pieces on Gods great gameboard. Surrender your will and your fight to God without concern. Most importantly, keep your relationship with God close, like a trusted and life-long friend,. Spend as much time with him by reading the Bible and by prayer. This is some of the things I've learned and have become the "Truth" for me in my life, it WILL work for you too .

[Starrlight in reply to Tbine]

I tend to believe that God isn’t wasting time on me...but that false idea causes the relationship trouble. I think I will focus on picturing Him loving me no matter what.

[Barbie72 in reply to Tbine]

Am still listening and being open to whatever He guides me to do. Am retired but need something more to feel fulfilled. I know I am exactly where He wants me now but am itchy to do more. Covid complicates things. "Show me the way" is my nightly prayer...He always has in the past. One direction I said, "Really God, you want me to do what??? " I did it anyway and turned into a job I loved!

[Hidden]

I suggest you read some of Eckhart Tolle. Start with ' Stillness Speaks.' If you're ready you should find a bit of GRACE to give you a level of understanding you've not known before. Also stick with the meditation but don't get too hung up on it. It's a tool to use on the path and it has to be done properly or you are wasting your time and by the sound of it you're not doing it properly. One thing that is essential is a teacher or guide to oversee your progress.

You'd be amazed at how much quicker you will develop with help from someone who has already been where you are now.

[LiveandLetLive42]

Awww girl you are striving!! You just keep shining <3

[Starrlight in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Love you 😘

[Hidden]

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