My mother is bipolar. I am scared I will be like her , she turned to alcohol throughout my childhood so I have very bad memories and images in my head . I have a fear of death and when I think about it I have panic attacks ( about once a week ). I worry about little symptoms I have , things that everyone goes through but I always imagine the worst, every time something is physically wrong I ask people what is it for reassurance. I’m very self conscious and hate my body.not many people know about the way I feel because you can’t tell as I am a smiley happy person in general, I don’t want to worry my family and scared they won’t understand .