Why am I like this

[blaked]

I’ve been struggling with severe depression for 2 years now. My life has turned around completely though, I have a job I love, and good relationship, my own place, a cute little pup, and I’m no longer financially struggling... yet, I still find things to get upset over. I look in the mirror and criticizes double chin or how my hair lays too flat. I find it hard to believe people when they claim to be my friend. I push people away so I can be alone and cry to myself. I understood my depression when my life was bad, but now that it’s good I hate myself even more because I’m still sad

[Chanshan]

That is clinical depression which I have for last 15 years on and off. Once in a while I go to depression for no reason at all. Financially sound, beautiful family and smart children and two loving dogs and own two homes in silicon valley and enough cash in bank. But nothing helps when I go to derpression and it is so bad that I keep crying. It gets better with medicine but not fullly.

[blaked in reply to Chanshan]

I just wish there was a way to be happy. Like a switch that would help me see life in a nicer lens

[conquestofhappiness in reply to Chanshan]

I am in a similar situation here (even though i am not that financially sound as you are), i am not sure if you have a full time job or not. i am currently not working full time, i spend most of my time taking care of my kids. I keep on wondering if I go out for a full time job, will my anxiety and depression get better? That'd be a big decision for me, for the kids and the entire family, as my younger kid is delayed, and i need to spend a lot of time with him.

[Chanshan in reply to conquestofhappiness]

Full time job sure helps to reduce depression and anxiety. If I stay at home it just escalates for me. Work is pain reducer for me.

[Hidden in reply to Chanshan]

I think you may be right!

[conquestofhappiness in reply to Chanshan]

Thank you. I will try to find a full time job.

[Sarah1111111 in reply to Chanshan]

I’m the same I need to work but then I’m also learning to relax when not at work!