Fell asleep with anxiety, woke up with anxiety

[hitbyasegway]

Short background: I was on lexapro for anxiety for over a year and it worked very well. Doctor switched me to Zoloft because they were concerned about my depression. I have been on it now for a little over a week

I don't know where this post is going to end up going, I'm just typing because I have so much anxiety and so many thoughts that I can't keep up with it and I think if I don't put it all out there, it will build up inside of me and i will have an awful panic attack.

I feel like there is a ball in my chest, and someone keeps blowing air into it and I keep telling them please stop it's going to explode but they won't stop. I can't eat still. I'm able to drink water, thank God. It also feels like I'm standing on top of a cliff, looking down. You know that feeling in your stomach you get? That's how I feel all the time lately. I see a therapist, looking for a new one because she doesn't help. I try to talk to those I trust but then, out of love, they ask question to try to understand and I just get mad and frustrated and yell at them, so I try not to talk to too many people when I'm this anxious. I want to cry and scream and throw things and punch walls just to get the anxiety out. I'm losing myself again and that in itself gives me anxiety. I remember vividly how it felt a few years ago to want my anxiety to go away so badly that I threatened my life. I don't want to get to that point again. I freaked out a few weeks ago and went to the psychiatric ER because I was scared it was going to get to that point one day. I ended up being fine, but I don't want to go to the ER for a false alarm because they'll admit me next time. I've gone way too many times in the past for them not to. And I don't blame them, that's their job. They want to help and prevent stuff. But I don't want to be admitted. I don't live alone and my parents check up on me a lot and I'm not a threat to anyone. The worst thing I've done to hurt myself if I just take a screw driver and hit myself with the handle until all of the anxiety I feel goes away. It's so messed up that this is how we think sometimes. That it's better to feel physical pain than emotional. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. It's not fair that normal people can go through life and none of this is a concern to them. They don't have to be worried about if they're going to have a breakdown at the slightest inconvenience. It's not fair and I hate all of this.

[nanhaus]

Hey hitbyasegway ....so sorry for what you have gone through and I hope this doesn't hit you the wrong way but I truly, truly, truly believe that anxiety can be managed and even disappear in most instances, and that it doesn't have to take you out or control your life.

I lived with anxiety for a long time (and mastered it) so I am not just pulling this out of no where. I also coach people on this and have done extensive research.

Here are a few things for you to consider:

1. You have to BELIEVE that being FREE of anxiety is possible for you. (you're currently believing that you are 'not normal', believing 'it's not fair', in other words, accumulating evidence for it. Believe that you are NORMAL. You can let that go and just believe in the possibility of getting better instead).

2. Anxiety is not like a DISEASE that you HAVE. Anxiety is something we CREATE with our THINKING (that is actually good news because what we create with our mind, we can also uncreate or recreate with our mind too!)

3. Consider that all the anxiety you feel is a HABIT of the mind, just like smoking. It's a way of thinking repeatedly that becomes a habitual part of our coping mechanism. Right now you may be responding on autopilot without really being aware of it. You actually have more dominion over anxiety than you may think right now. You are activating the sympathetic response (fight or flight) every time you allow anxiety to get out of control. (you can change that!)

4. Anxiety is a FEELING and every feeling is created with our THINKING. Sometimes it feels as though it appears out of nowhere (without thinking anxious thoughts) but since it's habitual, the body remembers. Sometimes you notice a feeling before you notice a thought. If you keep exploring, you will notice the thoughts that create your anxiety.

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we are alone in this, that we are defective some-how, that there's something wrong with us, that nobody understands us etc... and what ends up happening is that we use that against ourselves and we use that against other people too.

You can start creating new neural pathways in your brain that activate your parasympathetic response (the rest and digest response) with your THINKING. You can be in total control of your anxiety, I promise you, if you're willing to do the work and slow yourself & your thinking way down. I hope this helps. There's a lot more I could say but this is good for now

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles. Do you have a support group that you can meet in person? If you don’t have yet, try to search for one and join, it will help you not to feel alone and less lonely. You will learn coping skills from other members who are also going through the same experience. You can also try to talk to any spiritual leaders in your local church, they can help you for spiritual counselling.

It may be difficult but try to do things that you will enjoy. You might consider to volunteer if you can. According to research, it helps to decrease depression and provides a sense of purpose. I’m sorry you are going through a tough time, I pray that you will get through this and you will be happy again. Keep us posted, we are here and we care for you. Take care.

[SnowWhite94]

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. If it helps, when I first got on Zoloft my anxiety shot through the roof. I felt a lot of the same things you did physically as well as increased panic attacks. But it did come back down after a week or two. I think that your body is just trying to adjust to the new chemicals and reworking itself. You’re also coming off of a medication that you were on for over a year. So you could be experiencing some withdrawals too. Just know that both will pass. It’ll be hell for a little but I do promise you’ll get through it and feel better. Sending you lots of positive vibes and virtual hugs right now!

[Kainan]

Hey. I know this must be a really difficult time for you. I used to feel the exact same. One time I was so frustrated and angry and insecure of myself that I punched a wall real hard and broke a bone in my hand. In fact, I’ve broken bones in 3 places on my body. Physical pain is a different kind of pain than mental or emotional, but it is still pain nonetheless. I’ll tell you it’s very very painful and takes long to heal. So, take care of your body too. Every day that you can move around freely is a blessing.

I’ve also been admitted to a psych ward. And it is not fun. I pretty much cried and complained the whole time. I pleaded with them to let me go and eventually they did because they didn’t know what to do with me. I wasn’t in any danger of harming myself. But the thing is that nobody can help you unless you are willing to make that effort and help yourself. My experience there is enough for me to never get to that point again and be forced back there.

So, take care of yourself. Believe in yourself and know that you can make the right decisions for you. Anxiety is mostly the mind being hyperactive and playing games with us. It’s important to challenge certain thoughts and be aware of the present moment. Because when you are there 100% in the now, problems don’t exist. You cannot be worried and focused at the same time.