Feeling down and out

[Jax27]

So I’ve suffered with anxiety for years now and definitely have my ups and downs . I’ve been doing good . Thought I could drink last night and that was a really bad idea . I know I shouldnt drink while taking lexapro or if I do not that much . I said some things I regret . Just feeling depressed today and anxious . I fucked up again . I try to be a good person then this happens . I don’t ever want to drink again . I don’t know if I depressed cause of what happened or because of drinking and while on medication.

[kenster1]

hi alcohol depression/anxiety medication always a bad mix but as long as you don't go overboard hopefully you can feel better tomorrow.eating and spacing out rinks helps and even having a drink of water in between.

[EmBreeze]

Jax27, you wrote: 'I try to be a good person then this happens.' If you are a good person, most of the time kind to others with maybe saying words you later regret, then you are still a good person who made a mistake. Join the club. We all make mistakes. Mistakes that are fixable. Mistakes that don't make us bad people. So, know that. You are still a good person.

If you said something you regret and hurt the feelings of someone you care about while under the influence of alcohol, make the effort to reach out and apologize. Even if the person you apologize to thinks, 'you've apologized before,' a well-worded and heartfelt apology is still needed. Leave your embarrassment or regret out of the equation. Focus on the other person for awhile.

If you really want to quit drinking altogether while you are taking Lexapro, think about your priorities. Is it more important to you to be less depressed and anxious or to get drunk when you feel like it? Look, who doesn't like alcohol, especially those of us with depression and/or anxiety? You are not alone. If you only knew how many people have done this exact same thing you just did, you would probably drop your jaw. The thing is, each of us needs to prioritize what is most important in our own lives. Alcohol is a very temporary feel-good remedy that so many seek out time and again to make the pain go away. But it isn't a long-term solution to anxiety or depression.

Jax27, I just decided at the beginning of this month to stop all drinking. While not an alcoholic, I'm a binge drinker who drinks socially. It's fun and it helps me forget problems for a little while. So, when loved ones revealed that too often now I have an alter ego who comes out and overreacts to my triggers (they poke the bear) when I drink and asked me to stop drinking, I decided it was time. Heck, my body was saying 'yuck' already to certain wines. I am taking the plunge, stopping it, and gladly so.

I got rid of all the alcohol in our house that I kept for parties or to take to other party hosts. All of it. Gone. Done.

I also found myself a counselor who understands alcohol abuse and connections of it to PTSD and depression. I recommend you reach out to a couple of counselors and if you have healthcare insurance, make sure they are participating on your plan and accepting new patients. But don't just accept the first counselor who returns a call. Find one who specializes in the issues you want to tackle. Then get to work.

If you can join me in a commitment to yourself; to accepting yourself with whatever pain you have, whether daily or occasionally; to understanding that probably 99.9% of people have their own types of pain to face, as well, so you're not some isolated case and 'the happy people' are just covering up; to review your priorities and make yourself and your health the top priority, even if it means some people in your life won't make that journey with you; then you will find yourself making better decisions for yourself and doing the things you really enjoy doing more often.

You can do this. You can stop feeling bad about yourself for these all too common among us slip ups and realize that so what you slipped, you can right your ship and make better decisions for yourself the next time. (And as for today, drinking Pedialyte helps a hangover. Stopping alcohol abuse helps your life. )

[Cmarie12 in reply to EmBreeze]

Hi EmBreeze,

I just read your response to jax27 and you explained it perfectly! I've had social anxiety since I was a child, so when I was introduced to alcohol and realized that I could be the "real" me, I was elated. So started my relationship with alcohol.

How many times did I wake up the next morning full of shame, guilt, embarrassment? With each time, a little more of my self esteem was chipped away. So much trauma goes along with being the life of the party. Anyway, after years of my shameful behavior (my opinion), I decided with a therapist to give it up.

October was 4 years since I had my last drink. From there it was easy to say goodbye to some of the toxic friends that were more or less my drinking buddies. I still have the occasional argument (with myself) that having a drink would be okay. For instance, I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks where I won't know many people. So what I've done is volunteer to be one of the designated drivers. This way if my social anxiety gets triggered I won't go for that drink because I'm being counted on to stay sober.

The best thing is when I do go to a dinner party and I've had a blast, I wake up the next morning with a smile on my face as I think of the fun time I had the night before.

With time it has become easier and I have no regrets. I wish you good luck on your journey.

Hugs,

Marie

[Jax27]

Em breeze - thank you so much for your kind words . I talked to my husband today about how I don’t think drinking is good for me . Especially when I battling depression and anxiety. My family is to important and my life is to important to do this to my self . I’m a social drinker like you but when I drink I have this other side that comes out and I hate it so your right it’s not worth it . Thank you for bringing some light into this day .

[SuZQ154]

You're being honest about your sadness and frustration because you drank. That's wonderful! Honesty and openness are the first steps toward changing our habits.

We do not want to go down the "downward spiral" of "I am sooo bad" because I ______." I have learned to forgive myself and ask God for forgiveness when I fall short. I have learned to accept my humanness. I am going to fall short at times. Getting up and asking for forgiveness and the strength to carry on "well" have become easier.

Reading books and the Bible have helped. You might want to check out "Anxious for Nothing". bit.ly/2YYp1lR Hope this helps, and please do not be too hard on yourself.