Not sure how I feel.....

[BrownEyesBlue]

Indifferent maybe? I’m not sure. I’m not sad and I’m not exactly happy. I’m somewhere in the middle I guess.

I’ve been having relatively good days. It’s been quiet. I haven’t talked to a lot of people. Been by myself mainly. I don’t need a lot of people; I get flustered in large groups and I find myself always trying to figure out where I fit in. It’s the social anxiety I guess.

I feel kind of “foggy” too. Like I said, I’m not really sure.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Every day of my life but I like it. I don’t fit in. I don’t need or want to fit in anywhere. Have you met those people?!?!

I’m a loner but I do have great friends who didnt sit at the same lunch table every day too. We’re the smart people. We’re the real people. We are awake. Look around for the awake people. Not everyone deserves you.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I like it too! I don’t want to be included in a circle; yeah it stings when you aren’t included but when all is said and done and I think about it; IM OKAY WITH IT!

I have good friends too but I don’t necessarily have to talk to them every day.

Thanks! Nice to know someone can relate.

[NWGal]

Story of my life and I'm 64! That's why I don't go anywhere! Just the thought of having to leave my house is paralyzing! When I do go I feel so judged by everyone, then I feel shame and see myself as self centered and unworthy. It's a vicious circle. "Meh" describes my mood most of the time. Thanks for sharing friend.

[BrainFog-Ninja]

Hi BrownEyes,

I relate to your words. I describe that feeling as settling for Ho-Hum-Blah, rather than pushing for happiness. Also, seems fairly easy to slip from there into being not so happy. I think it comes from sheer exhaustion, from feeling, and living, and searching, and doing.

Seems like I don’t have to paddle so hard during those times—I can just float along my path. No doubt conserving energy for when it’s time for mandatory paddling again....

I don’t need many people either, but I do need a few. One of my goals is to make some new in-person friends. Uhhhh. But honestly, I don’t really wanna...so is it really a goal? Eh. Idk.