Fed Up

I am fed up with having anxiety which is crippling me. I can’t do much and I just sit. I used to be out and about with a jolly personality and now.......Anyone any idea how to get motivated?

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I have just been living thru the worst bout of anxiety I ever had in my life, and yes it is hard, I feel half dead. I am able to see a therapist twice a week, she is wonderful, can you afford that? There is a group (worldwide) called NAMI, look it up on your computer, there may be one near you, it is free. Look for support groups. We need help, without it I stay in bed all day. I have been finding myself little things to do that do not cause me to think deeply. Have to keep the fear at bay. I am also on an antidepressant and Lorazapam for the anxiety. Try to find support and understanding, it is not our fault this has happened to us, and one day it will end, I am improving it is slow, but at least I get some spells of peace. Do you meditate, I find that helps.Be kind and loving to yourself, n o negative thinking about yourself, treat yourself as your BEST friend, be kind and loving to yourself, and take it slow, do not put any pressure on yourself. Thats all I can think of for now. I send you Love, Peace and Big Hugs. Sprinkle 1.......

[Jeff1943 in reply to Sprinkle1]

Sprinkle, you don't have to put up with high anxiety month after month, year after year, you know. Millions have recovered - and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't no matter how long or how deeply you have suffered.

Staying in bed is the worse thing of all. You just stew thinking about your predicament non-stop, feeling worse and worse. Occupation is good therapy, just getting outside in the sun and fresh air, under blue skies, beneath green trees, is a tonic in itself. But that unfortunately won't cure you.

You have a good therapist, that's great, a wise therapist can help you neutralise the problems that created your anxiety disorder. But even that unfortunately won't cure you.

Cure comes through understanding, reassurance and following a road plan for recovery that targets the cause.

Somehow your nervous system became sensitised by anxiety overload. Over-work, disappointment, worry for a loved one, grief, loss, shame, money worries, toxic relationships are all prime candidates for this.

Eventually your nerves have had enough and they become highly sensitised. In this state they exaggerate every small problem or concern you have out of all proportion.

Someone we know dies, we MUST be next. Our stomach aches, it MUST be a tumour. We have muscular tension in our chest, it MUST be heart failure.

Apart from health anxiety, our sensitised nervous system has social anxiety, agoraphobia, derealisation and claustrophobia to torment us with.

However bad we feel, however anxious, doctor's tests come back clear. And No, they haven't "missed something". Because all our distress is the result of nervous feelings, not organic illness.

Instead of treating our symptoms we should treat the cause: our sensitised nerves. But every five minutes our fearful thoughts release stress hormone and adrenaline that keep our nerves sensitised. Somehow we need to curb our constant fears, and the fear of fear, to give our nervous system a rest and a chance to heal itself which it is well able to do. And when nerves return to normal we recover our quiet mind.

Easier said than done, I hear you say. But many years ago a doctor evolved a method to free anxious minds from fear based on total acceptance of symptoms for the time being. According to one Boston psychiatrist that Acceptance method has brought respite and recovery to tens of millions of people over the years.

The book in which she set out her recovery plan is titled "Hope and help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes, an Australian doctor who used the method to cure herself. The book is still available for just a few dollars new or used from Amazon and E-bay.

I commend this book to you and hope that with time it brings you the recovery it has brought to me.

[Hidden in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thanks for your kind thoughts. Today took a whisky and I hate whisky. Don’t feel any bettter x

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Hidden]

Hello, How are you now? I am hurting and feeling very low, I am accepting the feelings and thoughts and doing my best to float by. I just took a Lorazepam, I want it to help me. Thank you for writing to me, I have Clare Weeks book, had it since 1988 when I was in crisis, so I am reading it again. I say my therapist today, but some of the things we talked about stirred me up. I was able to float and made it through my afternoon of volunteer work at the library, but I am a mess again now, I wanted to find your email, my computer has been out of sorts, but I got you. I have no one, I would like to establish a friendship with you. I need someone in my life that cares, my best friend that lived just up the road judt died, I was helping to take care of him. My Aunt died this year, my friend Nancy in Calif is dieing, my Parents are dead, I have one brother who I am close with but he is in England where I am from, so I have no family here. If you are interested, send me an email, and we will get started on a nice relationship. I don't like whisky either, wine is my poison. I send you love, peace and joy. Sprinkle 1.........

[Hidden in reply to Sprinkle1]

I’d be happy to

Be your friend. Where are you living now?

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Hidden]

Hello Clarencecool, I like your name, are you cool? Right now I am in a scrambled mess, my brain is giving me what for, I hate feeling like this, I have been a calm and patient person most of my life. I was born and raised in England, then moved to the USA at the tender age of 22, I lived in Calif for years, now I live in Sth. Ca. what part of the country to you reside in.?

What do you like to do to occupy yourself? I do volunteer work at the local library, and am joining a book club this month, I love to read. As I do not feel well a lot of the time I get DVD's out at the library, I can get 6 for a week at no charge, quite a bargain, and something to distract my poor scrambled brain with.

I just read your email again and it gave me a lift, thank you for caring.

Yes I have had too much stress in my life my therapist says to do a few things and then rest, a few more things then rest. Clare Weeks says to get plenty of good sleep, I take a mild sleeping pill at night, I am going to ask my Dr. if she will up it a notch and increase my antidepressant 20 mg. Oh it is nice to have someone to talk to that won't judge me and tell me what to do, I am doing my best, I do research and read upon the subjects, and I am not a pill hound, I hate taking pills, but if I need them - so be it. I know I need a friend I can talk to, I get lonely. I have my two cats and they are good company. Do you have any pets?

I hope you are feeling well and having a decent day. I send you Peace, Good Mental Health, Hugs and Love. Sprinkle 1......

[Hidden in reply to Sprinkle1]

It sounds as if you are gradually getting your life together. During the day I can’t watch tv (noise bothers me) if I have not got an engagement I just sit on my couch. I’ve sat so much I’ve dented the arm of my couch. I sometimes feel the need to phone helplines. Mornings are a nightmare for me. On a brighter note I’m having a celebration on the 15th. Four bloody awful years since this curse hit me. I also used to be

Bright and breezy. My anti-depressant has just been changed. I can only read self-help books. On a brighter note I also have 2 cats. Tricksy who is white with some black on her head and paws. Bo is black with a white Bow tie hence the name. Just you keep up

What you are doing and slowly you’ll get there. Hugs x

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, Thank you so much for writing and sharing your life with me. I am so glad I found your email, I was feeling really bad, I keep practicing accept, float and let time pass, I get little breaks, I hope they get longer. I have a hard time watching TV that is why I get the videos. I love to read, but am so far behind on my AARP magazines. Like you I read self help books. My cats are named Zebra, as she has a lot of neat stripes, and Sprinkle, some one dumped on my deck as a kitten, it was sprinkling with rain, hence the name.

I like to watch PBS on Wed nite as they usually have interesting programs from 8 p.m. til ll p.m. and No commercials, I hate commercials, I put them on mute. What time do you get up in the Morning? I could send you a welcome wake up email. What part of the US do you live in?

Tomorrow is my therapy day, I hope we can get rid of some of this pain.

I hope you have a pleasant evening, I am going to lay down I feel so awful, do some meditating until my program starts. Talk to you soon, sending peace, good sleep and love. Sprinkle 1........

[Hidden]

Hello Clarencecool. I am sorry you are struggling. Are you getting any support? I think that is the key to feeling better.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have a Counsellor . I just feel alone and I am isolating myself more and more. My friends seem to

Have vanished.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I can understand you feeling alone if your friends have vanished. It will feel very lonely. I am glad you are seeing a counsellor. I hope you make some friends on here.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hope I’ve made 1 already

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You sure have

[LookingforSunrise in reply to Hidden]

Do some people make friends on this website? I am feeling alone too. How did you make friends on this website?

[Hidden in reply to LookingforSunrise]

I would imagine you make friends just by replying to posts on here. You can always ask questions to show you are interested. I am sorry you are feeling alone.

[NWGal]

You probably heard the phrase "fake it 'til you make it". Remember the good days of the past. Remember what you did that day, what you felt? What activities were enjoyable to you? I find that trying to replicate that good day and good feelings are helpful. Good karma friend.

[Beevee]

Sprinkle1. If you practice acceptance, you will recover. Acceptance means going towards those fears, not trying to keep it at bay. How can you recover from something that you are not prepared to feel? This is the way to recover. Feeling everything that anxiety has to offer and learning to be ok about not feeling ok, taking the anxiety with you as you go about your daily life. Don't avoid anything. Anxiety simply loves that and thrives upon anything you try to do to stop yourself feeling anxious. Feel the fear and do it anyway. This is the only way you retrain your brain that here is no threat and stop all that adrenalin pumping through your system preparing you to flee.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

Have you managed to

Do it? I’m trying hard x

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Yes. Please read the posts I’ve put on this site. It is entirely possible to recover, even without medication. A lot of people simply don’t realise that they are trying too hard to stop feeling anxious. It is the trying part that often keep people in the anxiety cycle, unwittingly. People say you must fight this etc when they should be doing the opposite by letting the anxious thoughts and feelings be there and do nothing about them, other than to observe instead of getting involved with all the crap. Zero resistance.

Like I say, I have posted quite a few pieces on here which you may find helpful, all to do with acceptance.

[LookingforSunrise in reply to Beevee]

I believe you are exactly correct. You have to face your fears and you learn over time t live with the anxiety. It not so pleasant but it does get easier to tolerate.

[Want2BHappy3]

That's Hard? You don't mention counciling? I found out the more you fight the anxiety, the stronger hold it will have on You? Try to destract your self with music, walk or a hobby?

[Hidden in reply to Want2BHappy3]

What if you just have no interest in anything you used to enjoy?

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Hidden]

Not Really, I'm so exhausted I talk myself out of things. Life's Challenges have been overwhelming to where I don't Care 😖

[NWGal in reply to Hidden]

Ever try journalling? Just putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard can be extremely cathartic! Read what you write. Be kind to yourself and do not affix self judgment, blame and guilt. Good karma friend!

[Unknown999]

I know that exercise helps. Walking. Anything to get the body moving. But I was still crying at the start. So I found someplace I could be alone and just let it all out. I walk in the woods, or a few times I've gone swimming (no one can tell you're crying in the water...) I also picked up a free exercise bike for rainy days... there are a ton of videos on youtube of people biking or rowing or running. But I'm not saying I'm good at being consistent, maybe make a log of anything that helps because I know how hard it is to remember anything that feels remotely good.

[Hidden in reply to Unknown999]

What a fighter you are. You should be proud of yourself. Keep

Going. Maybe one day I’ll get back to swimming x

[Hidden]

I know I should go a walk but I seem to be getting worse at doing things. I loved swimming . Went 3times a week before work. Can’t get myself there and it’s only 5 mins walk. Today is the pits. Anyone in Uk -

NHS podcast Strength and Flexibility is good to get you moving. Used to do it but can’t

Be bothered. I have the Claire Weeks book. Got it when I took my first bout of depression. You can hear her on UTube. I know you should not fear anxiety but it’s easier said than done. Well

Soon be through another waste of a day . Hope you are all having a good day.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Hidden]

You say Acceptance as Claire Weekes uses it is easier said than done.

Acceptance may be hard. But not as hard as putting up with what you're putting up with. Day after day.

You read the book. Now walk the walk. Nothing worthwhile is easily won.

[Hidden]

I do have a Counsellor which helps for 5 mins. Another good read is Matt Haigs Staying Alive. It’s been a lifesaver for me. As he says if you feel suicidal your at the bottomSo the only way is up. He had a very bad breakdown 20 years ago and his now wife saved his life by her support. She must have loved him loads and loads. Keep trucking says Claire Weeks.

[Kainan]

It's always a good idea to try to bring your attention to the present moment. If your awareness is anywhere else other than the present, either the past or the future, you will bring anxiety onto yourself. And fighting with it is no use; it only exacerbates the issue and the symptoms you feel.

Acceptance is the way to go. Observing your thoughts, be the "mind watcher," and notice the thoughts and feelings you have and just let them be; you don't have to do anything. They are there; you are trying to separate yourself from them because they are not you. You are much deeper than that; those thoughts and feelings are only a part of your unconscious "egoic mind." And that state of mind only arises when a person gradually becomes unconscious.

As you practice being the watcher, you'll notice that your presence will grow, perhaps minimally at first, but it will lengthen. Because the moments where you realize you are not present, you become present.

[Agora1 in reply to Kainan]

Love your response Kainan xx

I second that..

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thanks. Will try. Not easy x

[Beevee]

To recover, you do literally have to make your life bigger than anxiety. That means dragging your sorry ass out when you don’t feel like it, when your mind and body is screaming “ I can’t do it!” You said another day has been wasted. Don’t let anxiety dictate your life. Take it with you. Go swimming. Do all the things you used to do, especially those you enjoyed. If you feel crap, so what? Nothing will change unless you make those changes. Small steps turn into big steps. You start to lose interest in how you feel and focus on other things. Enjoyment creeps back in but this will only happen by living your life as if you didn’t have anxiety. Avoid nothing.

Apologies for the tough love but like Jeff says, nothing worth having is easy.

Best wishes

Beevee

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

I’m trying to do it but I still feel anxiety is bigger than me

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Anxiety is bluffing you but you have to find this out for yourself by continually moving forwards, facing those fears (and that includes fearing the symptoms of fear) regardless of how you might be feeling. Only then will you see that it is a bluff, and at the same time, find it easier to accept the symptoms which stops the constant worry (about how you are feeling which keeps you stuck in the anxiety cycle) and allows the natural healing process to take place, fixing your mind and body.

It is true what they say. When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, there is only one way you can go from there.

[Sunshine425]

I started focusing on finding things to do that brought me joy.... hikes, painting, more time with loved ones. Anxiety is never easy... but you are never alone☀️

[crowningglory19]

Hi there, definitely taking magnesium and ginseng will help you a lot! Magnesium calms the mind body and spirit and ginseng gets rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. Take them in the evening to help you sleep. B Complex in the mornings is great to motivate you, it gives you good energy and focus. =) Best to you!