Fed up

[babatundae]

I’ve been trying my best not to put myself down for something I can’t change. It’s frustrating to hear that your closest friends/support can’t have you in their lives because it’s overwhelming they need to focus on them. Even though you wouldn’t do that to them. They feel it’s okay to say figure it out on your own even though you feel hopeless and want to die. Repetitive but it’s not your fault. But I blame myself. Maybe if I wasn’t anxious or depressed people would choose to stay instead of abandoning me

[jkl5500]

Could it be that you've been telling your friends your troubles over and over for a very long time? People with depression need to be constantly reassured, but we tend to forget that our friends have their share of troubles, too. They may feel that you don't appreciate that. Have you asked them how they are doing when you're with them?

[babatundae in reply to jkl5500]

Always. I make sure I’m not overbearing and only reaching out when absolutely necessary but they still leave

[jkl5500]

You didn't mention any medical treatment for your illness. I hope you are under the care of a doctor or psychiatrist at this time.

Feel free to message me if you'd like.

[babatundae in reply to jkl5500]

Yes I am. They say I’m ok. I just have to focus on social isolation

[CazO46]

I'm so sorry you feel abandoned by your friends. If you don't feel they understand then my advice is to start taking steps, if you haven't already, to get professional help. As jkl5500 said your friends might think you are going round in circles and would benefit from doing something different to help and look after yourself. I'm sure they care about you but perhaps they just don't know how to help, best of luck

[babatundae in reply to CazO46]

They are aware that I have medical care. Sometimes I just want to feel normal. Hang out like we used to. Im not always depressed. It comes and goes. For the most part I feel like people can’t be my friends because of my depression and others try to be my friend but often treat me as a charity case

[CazO46 in reply to babatundae]

I'm glad to hear you have medical care. I too have wished I could back to the person I was before I became unwell. I try and remind myself to accept how things are now and try to do what I can each day. Make the most of your good days , chat to the friends who are prepared to listen and not judge you. You are enough just as you are, just as deserving of love and care as everyone else.