How start living with depression

[Ezyd]

How do I let my family know that I feel like I'm drowning that every day I draw further away from everyone that I site for hours on in with a gun in my hand trying to draw the courage to end my misery I've overcome anything life has give me but I just cant figure out how to live again I'm so lost it depresses me more to think of how much I've overcome spinal surgeries lung surgery never let anything stop me until I started feeling depressed then everything changed

[Danland]

I understand and feel your pain. But that's not the way to go. I'm dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety I feel like I'm losing my mind and myself

[Angry101]

Suicide is certainly not the way to go. Several months ago I was the one holding a gun. The difference was I pulled the trigger. My hands were shaking so much that When the gun went off I had slipped it to my left side. It took a piece off my left eye. Made a deep rut down the left side of my head, penetrating my skull. I’m writing this in the hospital, I’ve been here a long time. Trying to get some of my motions working again. Please think about it a lot, this is not the way to go. Think about the people you will leave behind, they will never understand. I wish you all the love that people have for you. Talk to me anytime you want, I’m sure I will still be here. May God bless you during this difficult time.

[mysticfawn]

Hi Ezyd. Please, please put the gun away. It's for intruders, not to end your own life. I've been there, sitting for hours and thinking only minutes have past by. Wondering how it could be time for bed when you could swear you just got up. I look at the clock and wonder why I'm so hungry, then realize it's 8 pm and I've forgotten to eat all day. You can get through this though. The trick is to actually write a schedule down and if it'll help, set an alarm on your cell. That way little charms will help remind you about things you need or want to get accomplished for the day. Taking that first step is the hardest, making a schedule. I set alarms to eat and take my meds and even to let me know when the school bus is about to drop my kids off. You're worth it! Letting your family won't be difficult, the consistent alarms going off will help open conversation. Just explain what they're for and why you need to set them. They'll understand about your depression if you are here to explain that to them rather than unmexplained reasons for your suicide. If you don't have a doctor, find one and let them assess your depression and prescribe medication if you both agree it could help. These doctors can also refer you to counseling or therapy, whatever it may be called in you're state. It'll give you someone to talk your worries out with. Don't forget, if things get that bad you can go to the emergency room for help too. Good luck and know you are an important part of society. XX Mystic Fawn.

[RCCOLA]

Hi Ezyd. Don't try to explain it to your family. Most people don't have the capacity to understand deep depression. Your first step should be reaching out for help. Google suicide prevention. But more than anything else, know that there are people out there, like me and the others that posted, that actually really do care about you. You are NOT alone. I am thinking about you, others in this forum are thinking about you. We will be thinking about you tomorrow and the next day. You matter to us.

If you have deep seated depression, it is extremely difficult for many people to understand this. Even some psychologists and psychiatrists just don't get it. The people that seem to know most are the people suffering from the same thing. That being said, there are people out there who are very good in helping people like you. Your goal is to find someone like that. They do exist. Trust me and the others in this forum.

Send me and others in here a message in a day or two and let us know how you're doing, whether it's okay or terrible, we want to know. We want to go on this journey with you so that you're not alone.