Living with depression

[LesaTheFlower]

Hi. First post. I've been suffering from depression since 2014. Haven't actually spoken to anyone about for fear of judgement. I'm isolated and lonely. Struggle to maintain relationships. I don't know what to do.

[Iloveart7]

Welcome! 🙂

[jkl5500]

I hope you are receiving medical treatment for your illness. If not, please see your doctor soon to get started. You have come to the right place. If you want to talk, we're here to listen.

[LesaTheFlower in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you. Haven't taken the steps to see someone but I'm working on it

[jkl5500 in reply to LesaTheFlower]

The sooner you start, the sooner you will feel better. And don't worry about "what people will think". Millions of people in this country suffer from depression. You have a LOT of company. Everyone on this site knows what you're talking about, too, because we've all been there.

[HikerBunny]

Welcome to this community Lesa. I am new here as well but just being her knowing there’s others with similar experiences is tremendously helpful. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope to hear from you again soon!

[LesaTheFlower in reply to HikerBunny]

Thank you. It's comforting to know there's people out there going through the same experience and that's there's a light at the end of this dark long tunnel 🖤

[kenster1]

hi welcome to you.i would hate to think that many people still judge people with depression.its not really the taboo subject of yesteryear.i am sorry your feeling isolated cant you get out and about to hopefully make new friends.i am sure folk on here will offer great support and advice.its good to talk.

[LesaTheFlower in reply to kenster1]

Thank you. People are still not educated about depression. They don't believe it's a disease so seeking help from those around me has been really hard

[kenster1 in reply to LesaTheFlower]

have you spoken to a counsellor or spoke to your g.p for some support.

[LesaTheFlower in reply to kenster1]

Building up the courage to do so. I'm gonna seek help

[kenster1 in reply to LesaTheFlower]

that's good to hear its always a huge weight lifted from your shoulders.it really does help to talk.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

Hi Ken, I still hate going to see my therapist. I do well for awhile then start to disconnect, then stop going. Very hard to talk about this stuff, do a lot of crying while there. Told this to her, but hanging in right now. Wish me luck to keep going!

[kenster1 in reply to Hidden]

crying mind sound like things are getting to much but in actual fact its part of the healing process.i wish you the very best of luck.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

Thanks Ken, will try to remember that. I’ve always been afraid to start crying when talking to anyone about something emotional. So many times I’ve wanted to vent but stop myself 😢

[Hidden]

The first thing you need to do is talk to your Doctor, Write out a list of the problems you have and this will help you explain your problems and get more out of your appointment

Let us know how you get on

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks border, will do that. Seeing psychiatrist for first time for med check. Please send me some strength 😐

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sending strength and positive thoughts

Let us know how you get on

BOB

[Waiting4themoon]

Hi Lesa,

Welcome to this site. As others have said, we all understand in one way or another what you are going through and are here for you.

The thing that has been particularly helpful to me is mindfulness. This taught me that I am not my thoughts. Thoughts and the emotions that come with them are a part of me. I can observe my thoughts and if I allow them they can consume me but they are not all of me.

One other thing I learnt is that within my thoughts there is a powerful thought process that takes on a personality of its own. Many people call it the inner critic. I used to believe that because I was having these very self critical thoughts that means that they are true.

I have now learned that those thoughts are just thoughts. They may have a message for me or they may not. It is up to me to decide.

I cannot say that mindfulness and the insight about the inner critic has completely removed my depression but it has certainly made a huge difference.

One other thing that I learned, although I find this one a lot more difficult and it is probably the hardest because it is the most important, is to learn to love myself just for who I am. This is the flip side to the inner critic. It can be very hard to try to hear the thoughts of self love when one has spent many years believing the thoughts of the inner critic.

Meditation can help. There are many You Tube videos out there that can help.

Wishing you lots of love and the courage to look depression in the eye as the third party that it really is and not all of you as it wants you to believe.

[LesaTheFlower in reply to Waiting4themoon]

Thank you for the encouragement. 🖤

[Hidden in reply to Waiting4themoon]

Hi waiting, very good lessons to learn and focus on. I also need to work on these, thank you 🙏

[Hidden]

Welcome, Nice to meet you. This is a great place to verbalise what’s on your mind. Give it a try 🥰

[2manypets]

It is my experience that there are far more people who suffer from anxiety that we know. I've had issues with anxiety since I was little. I don't know if it started from environmental factors or I was born this way. My niece is the same way. I guess maybe it's the reason I have always had a small group of friends I truly trust and don't do crowds much, but I'll bet it is.

As I've gotten older(I'm 56.), I've learned to manage the anxiety with medication and a great deal of care. I don't expect myself to do things I'm very uncomfortable doing, even if a friend or family member doesn't understand. If they truly love me, they'll get over it and they'll still be supportive. If there is an activity or obligation I feel I just MUST attend, I do it and allow myself time to de-stress when It's over. I'm of no benefit to the people who count on me if I'm too stressed to function well.

My job is very stressful sometimes, so I simply don't do stress on my off time unless it's truly an emergency. My home is peaceful and calm. I don't allow people to feel like they can just "drop" by nor do I feel obligated to drop stuff I'm doing to help someone unless it's a true emergency. One of my favorite sayings is "Someone else's lack of responsibility/planning is seldom my emergency." My family, especially my mom, used to call me and expect unreasonable things at the spur of the moment. I'm a people pleaser, so it was very difficult for me to stick up for myself with her. My life is far calmer since I've made this a life practice and my mom doesn't ask ridiculous things anymore.

I believe that most people with anxiety issues can live full, happy lives and I sooooo hope it's true. For me, right now, it is. I don't know about the future, but I'm going to operate on that premise until it doesn't work for me anymore.

You are very worth a happy life.

[Hidden]

Hey Lesa, your issues sound familiar with me too. I feel very empty and without any excitement in my life. It’s there, just not aware of it and can’t feel it. So makes me feel so blah. Have awesome kids and grandchildren that I’m so proud of. Need to find out how to feel and become aware of my joy and fun times. Frustrating 😢