I have to get my kids to the doctor and I’m really scared to drive there. I feel kind of paralyzed. My husband may be able to get home in time to drive, may not. I used to do stuff like this no problem. Why did this happen to me... the fear? What is underlying here? The appointment is hours from now and I’m already having heart racing and jumbled thoughts. I took a propranolol that should help with the physical symptoms. I have been so busy today but as soon as I take a break I get a lump in my throat and my mind goes wild in anticipating trouble I may find. I just needed to get this out in a safe place. Can anyone relate? Have any ideas that may help? Deep breathing right now seems not good enough.
I’m so nervous : I have to get my kids... - Anxiety and Depre...
I’m so nervous
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Starrlight
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Hello Starrlight. I really am sorry you are in this difficult situation. I completely understand. Having a fear of going out is just so difficult. You are so strong. You have reached out for support and you are doing this because you are a wonderful parent. It is a doctors appointment for your child so you are willing to put yourself though anxiety through love and care. You never once said you are not going. I know it will be tough but you really can do this. Just think, soon it will all be over and you will be home and feeling so proud you did it. I believe in you.
Starrlight in reply to
Thank you! I want to be safe and I just don’t feel safe driving with possible panic attacks. You know? But in the past I’ve always made it through so... well I will have to be strong like you say I am. Phew 😅 it’s a lot you know? I hate this feeling. I want pieces of my life back in tact.
in reply to Starrlight
I really am sorry you feel this way. It is really hard. If it were anything else I would tell you to change the date but as it is for your children I am guessing it is important. I really do find you so brave. You are so strong so contemplate doing something you are so anxious about.
Starrlight in reply to
Thank you so much. I feel weak and yes my kids really do need to get in. I called my husband and no answer so that’s got my anxiety higher. I hate feeling like I have to depend on others. So sad. I am having panic attacks now and trying to deep breathe through it.
in reply to Starrlight
You have no reason to feel bad. You have anxiety and you would like your husband to be there for you. That is not depending on others. I really am sorry you are feeling so bad. I know this will be hard but have you eaten? If you feel weak you may need to eat something small, even a piece of toast will do. It will give you strength.
Starrlight in reply to
I only had a little this morning to eat but I just feel so sick, ... I’m so upset I hate what anxiety has done to my life.
in reply to Starrlight
I understand. It really is not fair how anxiety effects you so much. I am sorry. I just think you are so brave to go to the doctors despite feeling so anxious. I admire you.
Starrlight in reply to
But I will try to take it moment at a time.
So sorry about this, I ended up like this after the vertigo, tell yourself you can, stop if you need too, deep breaths, in , hold and out fir 5, lots love 💕CBT really helped me x
Thanks my friend. Good to ’read’ you. CBT huh? Cool.
I know how you feel, Starrlight. I often experience anxiety and panic while driving, especially when I have passengers. But sometimes there is just no way around it, I have to get my kids where they need to be. So I do my best to think of it as a golden opportunity to practice floating and acceptance. I keep reminding myself that any feeling of panic is not something that is happening to me, but rather, something that I am doing myself, by reacting to any uncomfortable thought or feeling.
I might think something to myself along the lines of..."come on, anxiety; come on, panic...I want you to be here...I'm gonna pull a Claire Weekes on you..."
(Yes, I've said this kind of thing to myself many times while driving.)
I think about things that you and Beevee and others have posted in this forum. I feel the presence of all of you, and Dr. Weekes, right there in the car with me, supporting me the whole way.
And I have never, not once, had any kind of problem, other than the way I'm feeling while driving. And I remind myself that a feeling is just a feeling, and nothing more. A feeling cannot hurt me, nor can it put me or my passengers in any danger. And I don't have to struggle with it. I don't need for it to go away. I can just welcome it, and let it be there, and know that its presence is helping me to recover.
And when I get to my destination, I congratulate myself on yet another of many victories. And you can do the same!
Thanks it helps knowing you have had the same type of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings anxiety brings although wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
It’s brilliant to tell anxiety to come , it may just work. I usually wonder if I will get too dizzy or disoriented to make it and get in a wreck but it’s never happened.
On the topic of anxiety-related dizziness, there is something I've noticed about it. It is not the same kind of dizziness I experience when I get off the spinning teacups at Disneyland or when I've downed too many shots of tequila. That kind of dizziness, which I think of as true dizziness, makes it difficult or impossible for me to walk without swaying and stumbling.
Anxiety dizziness, on the other hand, is just a feeling of dizziness...but I can stand up and walk from here to there perfectly normally without any hint of swaying, staggering or stumbling. Nobody would ever look at me and think that I was feeling any hint of dizziness. And I can drive just fine with that feeling, too.
Which has led me to believe that this particular dizzy feeling is just another one of anxiety's lies. You know, anxiety tries to tell us we are in danger when we are not. It tries to tell us we are experiencing pressure in the head, or pain in the chest or elsewhere, when our doctors tell us there is no physical cause of any of these sensations whatsoever.
Maybe anxiety also tries to tell us we are dizzy or disoriented, when in fact we are not at all. Maybe that's why I can walk normally from here to there no matter how anxious and dizzy I think I am feeling. Maybe that's one of many reasons why anxiety has never, in fact, caused either you or I to get in a wreck.
Hmmmm smart you. I think you may be correct. Thanks for sharing with me, I’ll remember that next time I start having the sensations.
Breathe Starrlight....long slow exhales are what will get you through this.
While driving, in the waiting room...Hydration and proper breathing will
slow down those racing thoughts and agitation of self doubt.
You CAN and WILL do this. Don't allow anxiety to make you think any
different. Hugs,, Will be watching your messages... We are right here xx
Thanks. I will try those things but for today well my husband arrived him so I can now let him not that I can’t but it’s best for me right now if I just let him drive.
By all means....take it easy xx
Thank you Agora! I was so relieved 😌 but I won’t stop fighting for my right to be successful in my driving adventures. I get to practice in my more comfortable area tomorrow.
Get a glass of cold water, sit down somewhere as quiet as possible and drink it all before you get up again. Try a second glass/cup if you can manage it. Small sips , slowly if necessary .
Thinking of you x
xXx
Thank you. Ive actually been drinking a lot of water while trying to relax. Thanks for thinking of me, I will be okay eventually.
You'll be fine. Letting the water refresh us as we relax helps .
I relate alot , i can go on and on about how i used to panic over silly things and just envy others for being so mentally strong for simply doing simple things i used to do with no problem like driving , or going out
But i learned that anxiety is like an car crash , sometimes we get hurt and we need to relearn how to do things before getting into a car again , i apologize if the example is scary but the meaning is that we are nit suddenky weaker, but we just need more time to be stronger again
To me a game changer was something called PMR , i domt know if you heard about it but it really reduces the bodys stress hirmones and rekaxes the bidy within minutes , look it up its really helpful especially for people like us , i suffer from anticapatory anxiety meaning it worsens when its leading to big events , facing your fears helps , but you also need ways to cope and know you are ok , positive imaging works, for example talk deep breaths, lay down and close ur eyes, imagine u r there and the best case scenario , know you will be ok , and if the worse happens it wont be like you think our brains are irrational sometimes , so always ask urself if you are being realistic , im sorry if this isnt helpful but i hope u get better
I’ll look up PMR. No your response is helpful and I thank you. Yup I have anticipation before events that are important to me to do well with or that involve driving.
Our mind always change thoughts , fears, and objectives, know that this wont last forever, to me i had alot of fears and kept thinking how will i live like this , i wasnt suicidal but the panic always made me feel hopeless and depressed, but each and every fear would change, time heals and i would get a new fear, then i realized i have alot of options but mainly i should face each fear so i develop a stronger mindset , and know that this wont be constant and i shouldnt always rush my thoughts, if i get a new fear i just see where it keads me , not start oanicking without even knowing whats going to happen , so keep that in mind as well, u have support here and you will be ok trust me
Thanks for the support.
I have the same issue alot. Fear of driving. What I do is take the slow back roads and not the highway at all. I listen to music, deep breathe and take my time. You can do it.
Starrlight in reply to
Thanks Yup I do the back roads when I can. I get so anxious it’s hard to take my time but I’ll try
Hi Starrlight. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. What's crazy is that's exactly how I've been on and off for the past month. I was dealing with health problems (TMJ) that brought on severe anxiety and panic attacks because sometimes I felt dizzy or sick and was afraid to do anything. Including driving.
Today was my first time driving in over a couple weeks (my gram, mom, and sister had been driving me everywhere else) and I felt that anxiety before I started the car but I just kept reminding myself that it was a short ride and soon I would be home. And I did it! I made it through. It's okay to still be scared and anxious about it. I was so hard on myself too, I used to drive everywhere and all the time. I loved just going for a drive, but suddenly I was too scared to do it and hated myself for it.
Don't be too hard on yourself. If you can't take your kids today, that's okay. When you're ready to start driving again, only do short distances and trips till you're comfortable. One step at a time. You got this. Know that you're not alone! A lot of people experience this and make it through it. Sending you lots of good vibes and hugs today. 
Thank you sooooo much!
I think once a person experiences that type of panic fear it's difficult to not feel it again-to get away from it. I know what you felt. Ive gotten help to heal from panic and anxiety and I still "fear the fear". That may be what u are experiencing. It's not the fear that is holding u back it's being afraid that the panic might come on. In my experience, I force myself to go through that ring of fire. To face it head on. In those moments I also look up to the sky and pray & that helps too. In those moments just acknowledging that I had a hard day (ie everyday stress) and that helps too.
Just bc u might fear the fear doesnt mean you are going backwards in recooperating. I think it has become a bad habit and assuming the worse.
I hope this helps Star. Dont worry u r doing great and we all love ya!
❤❤❤
XxSunni
Hi, I’ve struggled with this issue, at one point even driving around my neighborhood would give me the cold sweats and panic. I started listening to Claire Weekes and practiced driving. I practiced driving everyday, going a little further. Then I had my husband follow behind me on the freeway in case I got too panicked I knew he was just a car behind me. We did this a few times. So now I can drive within 20 miles of my house without a problem. I still want to practice more to be able to go further. I take Lexapro 5mg and that has helped me a lot as well. I want to get CBD oil and see how that affects me.
Sunnidayz1 in reply to
Good work lynn! Ive seen you post before but never had a full convo w you. I just wanted to say keep up the good work. The only way past this thing is through it and it'snot easy. We are warriors..wooohooo!! lol
in reply to Sunnidayz1
Thank you ☺️ the words of encouragement mean a lot. Keep fighting fellow traveler
Starrlight in reply to
That’s awesome!!!
That's hard. Maybe imagine you taking them and everything goes well? Imagine different ways that you would enjoy... You are driving them and stop at a red light. A car pulls up beside you, and the back window is open. You glance at it and see__________ (insert name) Smiling and waving at you.
You end up being early and so stop for a coffee...make that tea. Near the corner of Starbucks is a woman with a small child. They are huddled together and clearly look like they are in distress. You have to courage to find out. She is running from an abusive s/o. She got this far but has no idea what to do next. You invite her in to have a coffee with you and make some calls. You are able to get her into a shelter for that night. You feel wonderful and are still in time for the appointments.
As you enter the elevator you see an envelope on the floor. No writing on the envelope. Inside you find 6 $20 bills. What do you do?
You are quite a writer.
Starrlight, I know that feelings SO WELL! I can't do anything spontaneously! If I have to go somewhere I have to schedule it days in advance and the anxiety is horrible. I am on propanolol as well. I feel like I'm being judged by others when I go out, although I know that's not a rational thought. I seldom leave my house. Luckily I'm retired so I don't have to go out much. I do have a daughter and two grandkids about 50 miles away that I can't go see as often as I'd like to. Once I actually get in the car I'm better, but getting to the car is a big task. I feel for you friend. Good karma!
I hope it all worked out ok.
Tell us how it went?
Starrlight in reply to
My husband ended up coming home and driving.
in reply to Starrlight
Ok. You will conquer it next time. 😁😜
Starrlight in reply to
Yes. I’m going out today, not very far, but i will be successful.
Hey! I go to bed and when I wake up I find out you were having panic attacks? Why didn't you let me know earlier when we talking? I would have gladly stayed up and talked you through it....I wasn't a very good BFF then, was I? So sorry....Hope you're okay now!
Listen I'm up now, although Sue will want my time for awhile....Be safe and let me know when the serious stuff hits. Okay?
I wasn’t having them earlier.
Are you okay, now?
Yeah I think so.
What's up? I'm not busy this morning and I have plenty of time to listen. We can pm if you would like.
I have to get the kiddos ready for school but may be on later.
I love the fact that you are so devoted to your kids, S. It proves how wonderful and classy you are. very well, if I'm still up then, we can talk. But, sometime after 8 or 9 I may just crawl in my bed. I have 2 writer's clubs meetings today and I feel that's gonna take a lot out of me.
As we recreate the bond in our friendship I am going to start telling you about all of the things that have been troubling me lately. In return I will listen to every word that you have to say about your troubles too. In fact, I look forward to sharing with you!
I went to the pharmacy three times today because of trouble with prescriptions and not once did I panic so I am really happy about this progress today and I hope it continues.
I hate driving on the highway when I am alone. I also dont like driving at night and in the rain. You are not alone! Its our anxiety! Our brain is telling us to be cautious and nervous. Parenting brings on so many new anxieties alone! Hope all is well💗
So true parenting can do that because we just care so much that it’s like an overload of worries spilling out into other areas in our lives.
Yes! Maybe thats why you are feeling all these new anxious feelings. If you are extremely uncomfortable it may be better to make apt when someone else can drive. But, Im sure you will be fine! Also, drive more when you are with your husband( if you dont)I got so used to letting my hubby drive all the time our first few years together and it made me feel weird when I had to drive by myself.so now I make an effort to drive all the time. (Weather permitted)😉
Smart 🙏 😊 thank you.
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